Maddening Love
by Dark Metal Queen
Summary: Basically this is the love between Lupin and Tonks. I hope you like it.  Rated K  to T for later content. Please comment.
1. Chapter 1: Beginings

Chapter 1

"Too dangerous…Too old…Not well off…Too poor. I'm not good enough for you," Lupin's voice repeated in her head.

Now Tonks was staring at her bedroom ceiling. Her dreams had been poisoned by new ones that would never come true. She always woke up when the dream got to the happy ending. This night's dream was worse, it caused her to toss and turn, and then eventually wake up in cold tears.

"…Mad Eye?" Tonks asked as the two of them, plus a few extra Aurors behind them, entered Grimwald place number twelve.

"Not now Tonks," Mad Eye said in his gruff tone, "I sense that someone else will be joining us tonight.

So Mad Eye, Tonks, and the other Aurors with them entered Sirius' house. The hall and walls that lead to the other rooms seemed more dark and goth tonight. At the end of the hall the usual light was glowing from the slightly open door. Mad Eye asks if they were late. Sirius says that they are just in time.

"Yes, you are," replies Snape, "However, we are expecting one more to arrive shortly. You might as well sit down."

All of them sit down and Snape adds, "Kingsley could you keep watch first?"

Kingsley replies yes and goes out, his huge shadow leading the way. The rest of the Order gets don to business and what they were discussing earlier: The inevitable infiltration of the Ministry.

"Well we all know that Fudge and isn't thinking or acting clearly," says Sirius, "So it wouldn't be surprising if they attacked soon. Even within the next few days."

"Of course but they don't have a fully drawn out plan as Severus had said," Arthur Weasley said, "Plus there's the muggles to worry about as well."

Quick tapping is heard on the wooden door. Sirius gives a relieved sigh and says, "Ahh, Remus. Welcome you've finally made it."

"Yes," Remus starts with a sigh, "Would've been here sooner if I hadn't run into a certain werewolf."

The two best friends shake hands with that brotherly, best friend embrace. Sirius points that there's a seat next between himself and Tonks. Remus takes the empty seat and sets his briefcase down right beside him at his feet. At his right is Tonks who he accidentally bumps into with his elbow.

"Excuse me," he apologizes.

"Its alright," she says back.

The two lock eyes at each other. Remus says after a moment that they haven't been introduced yet. Mad Eye sees this though, and so do a couple of people, and clears his throat.

"Right," Mad Eye says, "Remus, this is Nymphadora Tonks. Tonks, this is Remus Lupin."

Tonks' hairs goes from a purple color to a fiery orange color. Her head whips around facing Mad Eye, her eyes are angry, her eyebrows slanted down quickly.

"I told you never call me Nymphadora!" Tonks exclaims angrily.

Snape clears his throat and says, " Are we quite done with these childish outbursts and even sillier glances of affection?" Tonks shakes her hair changing it to its original purple. Both her and Lupin quickly look away from each other in embarrassment.

"Alright then," wanting to humiliate Remus further Severus says, "Well what do you think Lupin? After all, you must you must have this problem thought out if you can stare at women during a meeting."

"In fact I have, maybe you should get back to stating your ideas instead of staring at me and the others," Remus says back.

"Why you little—" but Snape is interrupted by Arthur, as well as Sirius, to cut it out. Tonks couldn't help laughing though, neither could anyone else. The meeting soon comes to an end and as everyone stands up to leave Remus receives a wink from Tonks. Snape sees through this though and tells Lupin to stay here for a moment. Molly sees this too however her husband grabs her arm and says, "Don't get involved Molly," and the two head back to the burrow. Tonks lingers at the doorway though listening and watching what the men are saying.

"I don't care what your feelings are for that purple-haired brat but don't show them at a meeting."

Sirius makes a sarcastic comment on how Snape was never able to get any woman, now or when they were kids. Snape gets angrier and points his wand at the two friends.

"What are you going to do?" Fight us? Duel us?" Sirius remarks.

"You forget I'm a better dueler than you. This isn't our student years at Hogwarts," Snape says with venom in his voice.

Sirius points his wand at Snape now. Lupin stops him from doing anything to hasty.

"He's not worth it Sirius," Lupin says.

"Fine choice Lupin," Snape says, "Now go."

"Actually I'm staying here for a bit," Lupin says almost smugly.

Then Snape goes off to talk to Mad Eye not far away.

"…Well let me show you to your room Remus," Sirius gladly says.

As the two head out the dining room they see Tonks. Sirius smiles, taking the hint, and leaves to head up the stairs. The two of them lean against the wall and Tonks crosses her arms and smiles brightly at Remus.

"I guess we got in a little trouble," Tonks smiles and chuckles lightly at him.

"We should've done that Tonks," Lupin sternly says.

"Alright, whatever you say Remus," Tonks says touching his arm as she says his name.

Then as she does that he whispers, "Maybe we can meet up again before the next meeting. How about we meet on the steps when you arrive next time. Is that okay?"

"Sure," she says but soon after she says this Mad Eye comes up behind her and says its time for them to go.

"Alright, bye Remus," she says as she waves goodbye.

When Tonks and Mad Eye get outside on the front steps he tells her of his displeasure.

"Don't get any ideas Tonks," his said with his voice filled with frustration, "I saw that look in your eyes, and his as well. Don't even think about it."

"Yes Mad Eye," Tonks said in a falsely solemn tone.

"It wouldn't work," Mad Eye continues.

"And why not? What makes you think so?"

"He's a werewolf," he says as he leaves telling Tonks to follow as he does.

Tonks does as she's told and soon they go their separate ways for the night. Tonks goes home and its her father who first greets her return home.

"Is that Nymphadora," her mother asks from the kitchen.

Tonks just sighs at annoyance at her name. Her father closes and locks the front door and pats his daughter on the back. Andromeda, her mother, comes closer to her daughter and her husband and immediately she saw something in her daughter. She puts her hand out and grabs her daughter's hand.

"Honey, why don't you come with me to the kitchen," Andromeda cheerfully says.

And so the two of them head into the kitchen and sit at the wooden yet small kitchen table. Andromeda asks her daughter if there's anyone new.

"I can read you like a book honey," Andromeda said to Tonks, "I know you can't tell me much about the Aurors but you _can_ tell me who's in the Order and who is new tonight."

Tonks taps her finger son the table.

Tap, tap, tap. Tap, tap, tap.

She knows its pointless to hide it for long so she goes ahead and tells her mother.

"His name is Lupin, Remus Lupin," she says and then excuses herself to go to her room.

Tonks' father stops her before she goes down the hall to her bedroom. He grabs her wrist and tells her to sit down on the couch with him for a moment. His eyes are filled with worry.

"I hope you know what you're getting into, you must know that he's a were—"

"—wolf. I know dad," Tonks says, "Now if you don't mind I'm going to go to bed now and go to sleep.

And so she gets up and leaves the room and goes to sleep. It's the first night her dreams are haunted by Lupin.


	2. Chapter 2: Things Are Picking Up

Chapter 2:Things Are Picking Up

Weeks pass before the next Order meeting is held. Nights continue to pass on by but finally the night come and Tonks leaves early for it. In half an hour she reaches Grimmauld Place. Waiting on the steps and staring into the distance is Lupin. He stares at her as she walks up to him. She walks up the steps and perches herself on the steps railing.

"Hello Remus," said Tonks.

"Hello," he says, "I see you hair's pink now."

"Thank you for noticing."

"You're welcome," he says calmly. However that soon ends when he catches himself staring into Tonks' eyes which were now green.

"_So hypnotizing," _he thinks, _"If only—"_

Then the front door opens(thanks to Sirius)which pushes Remus over towards

Tonks. He trips on his feet and ends up falling into Tonks' arms.

"Damn it Sirius," he mutters.

Lupin then pushes himself up so he is standing on his own two feet. He feels like he's going back to normal and he feels okay he feels more than okay in fact. Tonks is smiling even more though.

"Peculiar," he thinks, then he sees the reason why. He is still clutching, holding Tonks' hands. Now he feels some sort of pull. It was a magnetic magical pull towards Tonks. Lupin pulls on Tonks hands bringing him closer to him. Tonks stands up, she feels the pull as well. They take a few more steps towards each other. A wind_—_that seemed nonexistent not long ago_—_began to blow. Her hands slip out of his and she places them on his shoulders. The pull gets stronger and stronger and the get closer and closer.

Beat, beat, beat.

Beat, beat, beat.

Stronger, stronger, stronger.

Maybe it happened too fast or even perhaps too slow. Without a moment to think they kiss, their lips tightly pressed together. Lupin enjoys it and though out of character for him, he wraps his arms around Tonks. He just wants to hold on to her. Neither wants this to end and Tonks' pink hair blows in the wind.

"Ah hmm!" Mad Eye clears his throat, "Tonks! Is this anyway for an Auror to act? Tonks!"

Finally the two stop kissing and they take an awkward side step away from each other. Looking at the two of them was Mad Eye, Molly and Arthur Weasley, Fred and George, Ron and Ginny, and of course Hermione. Trying to avoid the awkward silence they all go in Fred and George being the last.

"Why George I think we have a new pair of lovebirds."

"Yeah George," he said ribbing his brother with his elbow, "Didn't think the old Lupin had it in him though."

The two twins laugh and head inside. Earlier the other Aurors said they couldn't come so it was just Lupin and Tonks outside.

"We can't keep this a secret now," Tonks said with a clever smile.

"We shouldn't have done that," Lupin said in a low voice.

"Whatever you say Remus," she says as she leans in to kiss his cheek then she said, "Meet me at the foot of the staircase after the meeting."

Remus sighs a contented yet tiered sigh and agrees to their next meeting. And so the two of them head inside and went to the dining room where the meeting was taking place. Snape was talking first again and when he saw Lupin and Tonks his countenance got worse.

"Tonks, you sit over by Molly Weasley," Severus Snape severely as he points to her new seat, "Lupin, you can stay where you are."

As the meeting continued on sometime later Ginny crept down to listen in for anything.

"It seems like we are being watched," Snape said in his monotone voice.

Everyone peers to see who it was.

"Weasleys control your child," Snape said before pointing his to close the door. Then he turns his head towards Tonks and Lupin and says, "Or maybe we should do something about those who are distracting us."

"Leave off it Severus," Sirius says, "It's about time someone was happy."

Time passes and soon the kids are called down for dinner. Snape had already left before dinner had began and everyone was having a good time like before. Now Ginny and Hermione were on either side of Tonks. Molly Weasley by Ginny and Arthur by Molly. Ron was by his father and Fred and George on the other side of Ron. Hermione was by Sirius and by Sirius was Remus.

Ginny laughs as Tonks keeps changing her facial features from a duck to a pig nose then back to normal and then to cat ears. And when he could, Lupin would steal glances at Tonks. She was beautiful but also different like him the only difference was that she wasn't dangerous like him.

"…Lupin! Lupin!" Ron exclaimed trying to get his attention.

"Yes Ron" Lupin said almost like he was in a daze.

"When can we talk to Harry again? Are you sure Dumbledore_—_"

"Ron," his mother said sternly.

"Yes professor," asked Hermione, " Are we ever going to talk to him this summer?"

However Remus did not hear any of their he just went back to staring and thinking about Tonks. He was thinking about how beautiful she looked when she laughed. It was then Tonks caught his eye and he hastily looked away pretending like he was talking to Sirius. Remus was still a bit upset with him because he knew he had something to do with what happened before the meeting started. Then he sees Tonks looking at him once more, mouthing something at him: "Stay behind with me after everyone leaves." She then goes back to talking to Molly Weasley, Ginny, and Hermione.

When everyone clears out Lupin stays behind with Tonks. As Lupin stands up and walks towards Tonks on the other side of the table, she grabs hold of the plate, unfortunately, she ends up dropping it.

_Crash!_

"Here. Let me fix it," he says as he points his wand toward the shattered plate, "Repairo."

"Thank you."

Remus then whispers to Tonks saying that they should've taken it slower.

"I'm dangerous. I'm a werewolf," Remus cautiously warns.

"And I don't care Remus," Tonks firmly states.

Remus grabs her shoulders and tries to get her to see reason, she, however, sees something else in him. Tonks does something to surprise him, to stop him in mid sentence, to stop his normal, rational train of thought. She kisses him once more just like before the meeting. Only this time it wasn't the pull that brought them together, it was her own choice. Remus gives in and Tonks wraps her arms around his neck. Soon they end up in the corner of the dining room snogging away well into the night and early morning. It was then they stopped and Remus walked Tonks out. Tonks holds Remus' hand for a few minutes and then whispers something in his ear.

"How about we have a real date? Let's say we meet at seven and at the Hog's Head or Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop this Saturday?"

"Let's make it Hog's Head," Lupin replied.

"It's a date," Tonks returned with a smile.

Before she leaves on her broom she and Lupin quickly kiss once more. Once they part both of them have their thoughts on their first date Saturday.


	3. Chapter 3: Dates, Love, Depression

Chapter 3: Dates, Love, Depression

Hog's Head that Saturday looked like it usually did: grim, dirty, hardly any light except the candles on the tables, the usual, however it was where Tonks and Remus met for their date.

That night Tonks was wearing an ice blue dress with matching heels. Her hair was a white blonde color in curls. She had a silver colored eye shadow as her only makeup. Tonks was waiting outside the pub for Remus. It was only a few minutes before seven and the evening sky was the color of orange and a light blue. Getting distracted in the sky she almost didn't hear Remus' voice or hear him say hello.

Remus was wearing a darker brown suit than what he had worn previously. His hands were buried in his pockets and his footsteps purposeful. As he gets closer to Tonks and is now right in front of her he takes her hand and kisses it. Then the two go inside and sit in a booth a little bit towards the back. Then they order their drinks and food.

Tonks laughs at Remus' story and takes a sip from her drink.

"Sounds like your life at Hogwarts was really interesting," she says slightly giggling.

"Yes," he says, "And I take it that yours was the same from what you've said before."

"You could say that."

The dinner and drinks seemed to pass quickly and after that they began to walk the streets of Hogsmeade. They looked at the sights and soon came to the view of the Shrieking Shack.

"…Supposedly haunted. Or is it…Remus?" Tonks questions.

Remus' face turned into one of worry and sadness. After a few deep breaths and tapping his fingers on the barbed wire pole Remus decides to tell Tonks the truth.

"Its not haunted," Remus sighs, "…I used to stay there…during my student years at Hogwarts. It was only during the full moon so I wouldn't attack the other students."

Tonks places a hand on Remus' tapping hand and looked into his eyes.

"Remus," she whispers, "That doesn't matter to me if you're a werewolf. You can tell me anything. . . I love you."  
>Remus just touches Tonks' shoulder with his other hand and kisses her forehead. He tells her he feels the same way, since he first met her.<p>

"But I'm too old for you, I'm too poor, too dangerous. I'm not good enough for you," Remus says, "You can do better than me."

Tonks gets a mixture of surprise and sadness on her face.

"Don't be silly Remus. Y-you're fine. You are good enough."

"I know what I am Nymphadora and I'm not good enough. Not for you," he solemnly says before Disapperating away.

Tonks couldn't get angry at all by being called Nymphadora so much sorrow was taking over her. It took over her senses, her mind, and not long after her abilities. Her hair goes from a blonde color, to a dark blue, then black, and then finally her natural brown coloring. She sank onto the cold ground and wrapped her arms around her legs. Tonks could feel the tears coming, they were pooling in her eyes about to fall down face. When the tears do fall down she tries to wipe them away but they fall down anyway blurring her vision. Finally Tonks gets up and leaves. Tonks walks for awhile, wandering, constantly thinking about Remus, but finally decides to leave and Disapperates away.  
>Months later, after all the kids had returned to Hogwarts, Tonks begins to go back to the Order meetings. After her first meeting back Molly pulls her aside to one of the upstairs bedrooms to talk. Molly motions her to sit beside her on the edge of the bed.<p>

"What's wrong Tonks?" Molly asks, "You aren't yourself."

"I'm alright Molly," Tonks lied.

"Don't lie dearie. I've seen how you've been acting lately especially around Remus."

"I am fine," Tonks tries to insist.

Molly pats Tonks' hand between her own and tries to soothe her.

"I know you're not fine Tonks. I can see it your mood and appearance."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Tonks lies again.

"Okay love when was the last time your hair was brown? On any other day it's a bright bubblegum pink. What about how you're acting, you're not your bubbly self. Let me—"  
>Knock, knock.<p>

"Come in," Molly says.

Unfortunately for Tonks its Remus at the door. She tells Molly that she has to leave and as she does she averts her eyes away from Remus'. Before Tonks makes it down the stairs she hears them talking. So Tonks decides to wait a moment before she goes downstairs.

"I just needed to get—"

However Molly angrily interrupts him and points her finger at Remus practically jabbing him in the chest.

"What the hell did you do to Tonks Remus?" Molly demands of him.

"I'm just not good enough for her," he answers.

"You're being ridiculous! What about how you two were practically glued to each other in June?"

"Like I said to her. I know what I am and I'm not good enough. I'm too dangerous and too old. She deserves better."

"You're what she wants and she didn't have to say it. I know you want her. Now tell me what happened between you two," Molly demands again.

Remus gives up, sighs, and tells Molly. Tonks then goes down the stairs to avoid hearing what he's saying.

I the living room Tonks runs into Arthur Weasley. She tries to get past him but Arthur stops her from going into another room.

"Did Molly talk to you?" Arthur asks.

"Yes," Tonks answers miserably and then walks away.

Five minutes later though Molly tells her husband that she's leaving for home early. Molly then grabs a hold of Tonks in the hallway and the Disapperate to the Burrow. She leads Tonks to kitchen and tells her to sit.

"What the hell?" Tonks angrily exclaimed.

"Now you have some emotion," Molly said as she made the tea, "Now sit down."

As Tonks sits down the kettle began to whistle. Molly got up and poured the teas. She waited several minutes in awkward silence before either of them spoke..

"Well I might as well break this silence. Remus and I talked and he told me everything he has told you and what has happened," Molly began.

More awkward moments continued until Molly began again.

"It seemed that you and Remus were attracted to each other at first sight," Molly sighs and puts her and on Tonks' hand, "Tonks, just tell me. You know you can confide anything with me."

Tonks takes a few sips from her tea and thinks about how much to tell her friend. After tapping her finger on the table for awhile Tonks decides to tell Molly.

"And he told you everything," Tonks asks.

"Yes, Remus told me everything. He didn't leave anything out if that's what you're thinking," Molly added.

"Well what do you want to know? Where should I start?"

"Why don't you start with what happened to cause you to be so down lately," Molly answered.

"me and Remus went on our first date that Saturday and in the beginning it was great…" Tonks trails off and takes another sip of her tea.

"Go on dear," Molly calmly says.

"Well then we took a walk through Hogsmeade and finally got to the view of the Shrieking Shack. Remus got saddened and told me about the times he had to be in it when he was a boy…" Tonks begins to sniffle, "I told him I loved him and he told me he felt the same about me…then he said he wasn't good enough, that he was too old, too poor, and too dangerous."

Now Tonks' hair went black but only very briefly. She drinks the rest of her tea and asks Molly not to tell anyone yet.

"I don't want them to know why I'm depressed now," Tonks continues, "…I don't care about Remus anymore."

"I know that's not true love, You love Remus and I know he feels the same way about you," Molly says.

Molly then gets up and gives Tonks a quick squeeze.

`"And you know I'll never tell anything you don't want me to," she calmly says, "Now go ahead and go. Mr. Weasley has you broom with him."

"Thanks Molly," Tonks answers with the few happiness she can muster up.

Before Tonks leaves Molly adds, "And don't worry about Remus. You don't have to ignore him anymore."

Tonks gives a small quick nod and Disapperates away. She arrives in the hall of Sirius' house just as the meeting finishes. As people begin to come out one of the first people out was Lupin.

"Tonks," Remus says surprised, "I…I wanted to talk to you."

"Well Remus," Tonks paused, "I need to get my broom and then I'm leaving."

"So Molly spoke—"

"Yes she spoke to me," she said defensively.

"You know why I—"

"Yes I know why you were against it Remus! I know why! I understand," her hair turned bright tomato red when she said this, "But you never considered any possibility than the one you were so caught up on!"

"Don't shout," he says.

"Fine, just get out of my way and I won't bother you anymore. I'll forget you like you've forgotten me."  
>"I haven't forgotten about you Tonks," Remus tries to tell her.<p>

Just then Arthur Weasley goes by and Tonks goes up to him.

"Arthur can I have my broom back?"

Arthur looks Tonks and then at Remus and then back at Tonks once more. Then he looks around in case he needs to get someone else in case this situation turns into something worse. Finally he looks at Tonks again.

"Sure Tonks," and Arthur went and got her broom.

While he was getting her broom Lupin tries to talk to Tonks again.

"Don't bother speaking Remus," she said before Remus could speak.

"You can do better than me but there's no one who could do better than you," Remus says solemnly, "But like I said, I'm not good enough for you."

Arthur arrives with Tonks' broom and hands it to her as if it's a bomb. She takes it greedily and turns her back on Remus. As get opens the door to leave she turns around once more and faces Remus. He gets his hopes up thinking she'll come back.

"Burn in hell Remus," Tonks told him, and then she left.


	4. Chapter 4: Regrets and Memories

Chapter 4  
>Remus looked dejected like his face was permanently etched in sadness. Sirius tries to comfort him but like before Molly scolds him. Later when everyone had left and Sirius had went to sleep; Remus lay awake in bed, hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling, thinking about Tonks. Though memories of the two of them were scarce he couldn't help but to remember them. He also could help to fantasize about different scenarios. The first one was a different one of when they first met and their second meeting after that. The one he couldn't get out of his mind was the third one and it was of their first date and a different ending to it.<br>As Remus and Tonks were now at the view of the Shrieking Shack Remus gets very solemn and quiet. Tonks said it was haunted and though he never did so before he decided to tell her about his childhood in the shack.

"But do you want to see for yourself," Remus asked hesitantly.

"Sure Remus," Tonks replied.

"Alright," he says, "Grab my arm. The fastest way is to Apperate there."

Tonks gets a gleam in her eye at Remus' permission to touch him for more than a moment. In less than a second they enter the darkness with a cracking sound. Very soon their feet it the grayed, old, dirty, wooden floor of the Shrieking Shack. Tonks looks surprised and takes the room in. Remus comes up behind her and places his hands on her upper arms and rests his chin on her shoulder something he wanted to do in real life.

"you're really showing me this Remus? Does that mean you trust me now," Tonks asks him.

'Yes," is his reply.

Tonks reaches for Remus' hand and leads him to the old decrypted bench like sofa in the room. They both sit down and it gives a loud creaking sound as they do. Both stare into each other's eyes and Tonks places her hand on Remus' shoulder and lets her hand slide down his arm. She then rests her head on his shoulder. Remus and Tonks stare into space in silence and absentmindedly take the other's hand but before anything else happens Remus comes back to reality.

Even though his fantasy was over he kept thinking about Tonks. Such as her bubbly headstrong way. Another of her metamagus skills. How her hair easily changed colors. Purple, pink, blue, red, blonde, white, the list goes on and on. Or even how she could change aspects of her appearance like turning her own nose into an animal's nose. Remus also loved how she got when someone addressed them by her first name.

… "Don't ever call me Nymphadora!" Tonks would exclaim as her hair turned a bright fiery orange.

Though try as he might Remus could not shake the feeling that if they got together she or somebody else could get hurt. In one daydream he saw Tonks lying limp and unmoving. Remus didn't want that, he care too much for her. Now he just wanted to know what Tonks was thinking about right now. She was probably still angry at him and the last thing she had said to him rang in his ears unceasing,

"Burn in hell Remus"…Burn in hell."

Remus would never forgive himself for what he had said to her earlier.

* * *

><p>"What's she thinking," he thought as he tossed and turned, "What is she thinking."<p>

Tonks was lying in her bed as well. Her eyes were puffy from the constant tears falling down her face. Memories of him, of them, flashed through her mind like a movie playing erratically. As she fell into a deep unnatural sleep for the night she couldn't help repeating his name.

"Remus … Remus … Remus," she repeated.

Her sleep didn't last long though and as she lay awake all the words he said to her came flooding back.

"Too dangerous…Too old…Not well off…Too poor. Not good enough."

Tonks can't will her feelings away, they won't disappear.

"Damn it! Why did I tell him to burn in hell," Tonks sobs.

She wipes the tears away and tries to think of something else. To do so she began to practice the magic she used to be able to do flawlessly.

"Lumos."

Nothing.

"Lumos," she says a little louder.

Still nothing.

"Lumos!"

Again nothing happens.

Tonks gives up on Lumos and tries another spell. She gets out of bed and kneels in front of her old Hogwarts trunk and tries to open it magically.

"Alohomora."

It won't open.

"Alohomora," she says again.

It still won't open like she wants it to.

"Alohomora!"

Nothing and her frustration increases. She bangs her head on the trunk lid and when she stops she rests her head on it. Her hair becomes a curtain in front of her face. Her tears return and feel hot as they run down her cheeks. She doesn't try to stop them from falling and her breaths come in uneven sobs.

"One last spell," she gasps, "One last one."

Tonks wipes a few tears with the back of her hand and slowly stands up. She points her wand at her wall and says:

"Expecto Patronum!"

This time it works but shock overwhelms her as she sees what it is. Instead of being the animal it normally is it had changed. It had changed into a wolf. Her focus broke and the happy memory goes away. Tonks drops her wand on the hardwood floor and not a second later drops to her knees. She buries her hand and her face in her lap and lets the memories, fantasies, and sorrow take over. Tonks goes to the night where she met Harry Potter but that doesn't turn out well. Little does she know Remus is thinking about the same night.


	5. Chapter 5: Arguements

Chapter 5  
>It was after rescuing Harry Potter, after the Order meeting, after tell Harry what was going on, and after dinner. Remus waits until everyone has finished and cleared out of the dining room and grabs Tonks' arm as she begins to leave.<p>

"Yes Remus," Tonks says.

"Talk to me," Remus said back.

Remus knows what he wants to say instead he asks how she got her hair purple again.

"Is that all?"

"How can you be so nonchalant when recently—" but he can't finish his sentence he just wants things back to normal.

After some more moments of silence Tonks decides to leave. In her path though was a chair not pushed in and as Tonks walks away she trips over the chair. She falls flat on her face and and Remus immediately goes to her. They look into the other's eyes. Remus can't help herself and Tonks can't hold on to her resentment. They lean into each other like last time it was like they were being pulled each other like some force and then they kiss. Tonks wraps her arms around his neck, Remus just wants to stay near her. As they they pull apart Tonks hangs onto him and they stay kneeling on the floor.

"… So…is there anyway to stop you transformations? Even if its just temporary, is there a way?"

"A potion but I don't Severus would make it again," Remus pants.

Remus pulls Tonks to him and kisses her again. It seemed like time had gone backwards, like it was their second meeting again. If only they hadn't been interrupted.

"Tonks," Ginny calls out, "Remus…"

Remus and Tonks struggle to stand up and when they did they were both dizzy and unbalanced. They had to use the other to keep their balance, using the other's shoulder or arm to hang onto. Finally they were able to steady themselves to face Ginny but they couldn't steady anything else about them. Remus and Tonks struggle to think up a good lie, a good excuse.

"We were just talking," Remus stammers.

"Uhh, yeah, yeah. J-just talking," Tonks stammers as well.

"I can see it was some interesting conversation," Ginny slowly, skeptically replies.

"Did you need something?" Tonks and Remus say together simultaneously.

Remus and Tonks stare at each other in shock for speaking at the same time.

"Okay," Ginny says even more skeptically, "I'll just tell mum and Sirius you two are busy."

Ginny then leaves the room leaving Tonks and Remus alone again. Tonks quickly turns towards Remus and wraps her arms around him again. Before they could do anything he pushes her away.

"This doesn't change anything Tonks. It would still too—"

"Too dangerous," she says in an annoyed tone as she unwraps his arm around him and clenches her fists, "Why do I try with you Remus? Why? You're always going shut me and turn me down."

And so she turns away from Lupin.

"Ginny," Tonks calls out, "Ginny."

"Tonks. Tonks. Tonks," Remus calls out as well.

She ignores him as she continues down the hall and up the stairs. Remus then gets an idea on how to call her even though it wouldn't be such a good idea.

"Nymphadora!"

Tonks grips the railing tightly, so tightly her knuckles turn pale. Her hair slowly turns into a fiery orange and she quickly stomps down the stairs. She goes over to Remus, clenches her fists, and then unclenches them again.

"I told you never call me Nymphadora! You of all people should know that Remus!" Tonks yelled filled with rage.

Bounding down the upstairs hallway and to the railing edge is Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Fred, George, Sirius, Arthur, and Molly. "What the hells" and other sayings like that echo throughout Tonks and Remus' audience. Whispers go though the crowd.

"What's going on? What's going on," Harry and Ron kept asking.

"I don't know," said Fred and George.

"Do you guys notice anything beside pranks or jokes," Ginny sarcastically asks.

"Seriously Ronald do you ever notice the completely obvious? And you Harry have seen more of Lupin than any of us," Hermione chastised.

"Fifty galleons they've snogged already and she's angry about that," George bets.

"Deal," Fred says and then they give each other a side high five.

Tonks and Lupin go ahead arguing without even noticing everyone else watching them.

"So you think I don't care about you? Is that it?" Lupin shouts.

"Well you're always indecisive. You're so damn fickle!"

"Want to add on to that bet Georgie?"

"Sure."

"Fifty more they kiss in the heat of the moment."

"Deal. Anyone else want in on this?"

Ron and Harry agree and put ten and twenty galleons on it. Hermione scoffs at this and Ginny and Molly look on is a waiting anticipation too busy to pay any attention to them.

Back on the first floor Tonks and Remus continue to shout at each other.

"Damn it! Do you want me to prove I do care about you?" Remus continues to shout.

"It would be nice for once!"

"Fine!" and Remus does something unexpected, something out of character for him.

"Here it comes," the twins say excitedly.

Lupin grabs her, dips her, and passionately kisses her. She holds on tightly to his forearms.

All the boys give out a 'Yes' in anticipation and happiness.

"Alright Ron, Harry," George says with a smile, "Pay up."


	6. Chapter 6: A Second Chance

Chapter 6: A Second Chance

"Nymphadora. Nymphadora," her mother sings her name, " Isn't it time for you to leave for your job as an Auror?"

Andromeda knocks on her daughter's door. She calls her name again and then again a few more times. However Tonks had already left and was on a new lead of supposed lead of Death Eaters at Gringrotts. As she and Mad Eye began chasing Death Eaters one stops. The one that stops is none other than the infamous Bellatrix Lestrange. Bellatrix is laughing -more like cackling-at the situation and at her niece. Tonks runs after her.

"Are you coming to get me?" mocked Bellatrix like she would say to Harry months later.

She continues to laugh and run. Tonks slides on her stomach to get her aunt with a determined look on her face.

"Crucio!" Tonks shouts, her wand pointing at Bellatrix.

Her aunt laughs again and stops momentarily.

"Little mudblood niece! You can't catch me, " she mocks again.

Tonks struggles to get up enough; her aunt's laughter rings in her ears. When she finally does get up Aunt Bellatrix makes one more insult and Disapperates away.

"Are you mad Tonks," Mad Eye demands.

Tonks just panted trying to catch her breath. Mad Eye still stood over her brooding, his eye whirling around unstopping. Once she finally gets her breath Mad Eye goes into his furious speech.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Where has your sense gone? I knew this would happen if you got involved with Remus Lupin!"

Tonks doesn't dare say anything and just listens to Mad Eye's rage.

"...Tonks just go home for today. You're on leave until you can handle yourself, until you're no longer mad."

Mad Eye storms away and Tonks Disapperates as soon as he does. She goes to the forest outside of Hogwarts and sits against a tree with a beautiful view of the school. Suddenly, a thought strikes her.

"Professor Trelawny," she gasps, "Maybe she'll know.

And so Tonks runs towards the school, runs inside, and tries to find Trelawny. Tonks finds Trelawny in her classroom. It was during passing period when the students were coming in and out of class in a hurry.

"Hi Tonks," Luna says.

"Hey," Neville said as well.

Tonks just gives them an absentminded hello and wave.

"Hello Tonks," Trelawny says, "What can I help you with?"

"Trelawny, can you see―"

"―What the future holds for you and Remus Lupin?" Trelawny finishes, "Let me tell the kids to wait a few minutes outside."

"You don't have to, I can come back later."

"Nonsense. I hate to see one of my former brilliant students so depressed."

As soon as the professor told her students to wait outside she comes back in and heads to her crystal ball.

"Let's see what the future has in store for you," she says as she looks blankly into it before seeing anything, "It looks like there's some potential for you two."

Tonks' face lights up but it soon changes when Trelawny continues.

"However I also see peril for you two as well."

"Anything else?" Tonks asks.

"It's not exactly good for the specific dearie," replies Trelawny.

"Thank you, I'll just go," and Tonks leaves.

Before the kids can come in Remus rushes in and asks the same question. Trelawny tells him the same thing she told Tonks.

"But is there any danger because I'm a werewolf?"

"No Remus, there is not," Trelawny says slowly and softly.

Remus leaves the room and finally the kids can come in. He goes to the first place his feet take him. Its his old classroom and thankfully its empty. He walks over to his old desk and his mind goes back to when he used to teach here.

"Remus."

He turns around quickly instantly disappointed.

"Hello Delores. How do you like teaching?"

"The little monsters are bearable but I must insist you leave," Umbridge said in a false polite way.

"Monsters?" Remus says.

"Monsters," another voice said the same time Remus did, "Now what do you consider monsters Delores? Actual creatures or innocent children?"

Umbridge turns around and sees Tonks coming towards her. Smugly and with superiority Umbridge says:

"Both if you must know. Filthy creatures, untidy children, especially that Harry Potter."

"Don't you dare," Tonks said with venom in her voice as she raises her wand.

"Only a fool would think the chosen one a monster," Remus adds equally venomous, his wand is also raised.

"That's probably why you're one of the most disliked people at the Ministry. Your callousness, undeserved superiority, and annoyance you toad," Tonks retorts.

"Why you mudblood," Umbridge said insulted.

Umbridge tries to raise her her wand but hears Remus say:

"Foolish."

"How about I summon the dementors? Will that make you two go?" Umbridge threatened, "In fact they'll be here in, five...four...three... two... one."

The dementors quickly arrive none of them were scared though. Lupin casts his patronus, Umbridge casts her cat patronus, and lastly Tonks cast hers.

"Expecto Patronum," Tonks said and her wolf patronus appeared.

Lupin can't help but stare but soon concentrates on holding back the dementors. Tonks ignores the stares, the awkward feelings, and focuses on the dementors and Umbridge.

"So are you going to call off the dementors Umbridge or do you want to see what an Auror can do?" Tonks demanded.

"And what an Order member can do," Remus adds.

"Well how about the Cr―"

"Don't even think about it," Tonks said, "If you want to use the Cruciatis Curse then use it on Voldemort."

"You know I would but―Crucio!" and Umbridge turns her wand on Tonks. She leaps away to the side with the curse only hitting her leg.

_Crash!_

Tonks collides into the desks. It took less than a moment for her patronus to break and less than that to find and grab her wand which had scattered to the floor. Soon though her wand was pointed back at Umbridge. The toad-like witch does the same but with her patronus gone the dementors go to her as well. Lupin boldly steps up to Umbridge and towers over her.

"Don't even try it Delores. One wrong move and you'll regret it," Lupin threatens as his patronus goes away too.

"Expelliamus," Tonks cries out with a wave of her wand.

Delores' wand flies out of her hand and Tonks catches it perfectly. Delores marches over to Tonks with pure anger and frustration in her eyes.

"Stupefy!" Lupin calls out.

Delores freezes and falls like a porcelain doll and slides across the room. Lupin walks over to the knocked over desks. He picks up the desks trapping Tonks on the cold floor. Then he offers Tonks his hand and helps her up.

"What do you suggest we do with her," Tonks says jerking her head towards Umbridge.

"I say we wipe her memory," Remus suggests, "Would you like to do the honors?"

"My pleasure," Tonks replies. Then she goes over to Umbridge and points her wand and says:

"Obliviate."

Lupin walks up besides her and she asks what they do now and what they tell the students.

"How about we take her to her desk and sit her down," he says, "By the way, what are you doing here?"

"I was asking Professor Trelawny a question. What about you?"

Lupin wasn't going to lie so he told the truth. The truth that he had seen Trelawny too, Tonks tells him what she said to her and she asks what she said to him.

"She said the same and that there was no danger from me," Lupin said, "But I'm still too old for you. I'm too poor as well."

Tonks crosses her arms and takes a step back from Lupin.

"I don't care if you're rich or poor Remus. And you're not old to me. You're better then the men my age," Tonks says truthfully.

"Well what if I transformed if you were near? I could hurt you, I could kill you if that happened. I care too much for you. If that were to happen..." Remus trails off filling with grief.

Tonks sits on top of one of the desks, she can't bear to see Remus this way. She doesn't want to leave him ever. It pains her to see him like this. They stay there in silence for awhile and Remus tries to compose himself quickly. His thoughts soon turn towards Tonks patronus.

_"Its a wolf," _he thinks, _"Does that mean..."_

Remus sighs and begins to walk back and forth in front of the desk pinching his nose as he does this. For once, to Tonks, he seems older to her.

"Next month is Christmas Remus," Tonks finally says, "Are you doing anything? Do you want anything?"

Remus stops and stares at her with wide surprised eyes as if he is just hearing her for the first time. He hesitantly thinks and tries to say what he is most curious about.

"...Tonks your patronus ...is a ...wolf?" Remus asks.

Tonks turns her head to look away and tries to swallow the lump in her throat. She taps her fingers, crosses her legs, and swings the other leg back and forth. She knew this was coming, he had seen her patronus earlier when they had to keep off the dementors. She turns her head to face Remus again.

"It changed," she said reluctantly.

"Patronuses usually change when―"

"When someone's emotions...when they..." Tonks interrupts him but she can't finish the sentence.

"Yes and also..." Lupin had to pause, "But it changed into a wolf."

"Is that a problem?"

"No, no, its perfectly fine," he quickly says bordering on a lie.

"You're lying Remus," Tonks says bitterly and then she crosses her arms.

_"She can see right through me,"_ Remus thinks, _"I can't see through her. I wish I could. A wolf huh?"_

Remus desperately wants to change the subject so he goes back to the Christmas question.

"For Christmas I'm doing some more recruiting for Dumbledore," he scratches the back of his head and looks down, "I don't need anything for Christmas. What about you Tonks?"

Tonks is surprised, she hasn't been paying attention.

"Oh, for Christmas, the same as usual. I might be staying with the Weasleys though," Tonks said.

The awkward silence comes back with a vengeance. Remus and Tonks stare at each other like unsure lovesick teenagers. Suddenly they hear laughter. Coming closer to them is the imfamous Weasley twins Fred and George.

"Why Fred looks like these lovebirds don't need our help," George jokes.

"But it looks like they need our help to find a room," Fred jokes along with his brother.

Tonks get embarrassed and angry and her hair turns a bright red-orange. She stands up, turns around, points her wand at George and says:

"Wingardiam Leviousa!"

George immediately floats high into the air almost touching the ceiling. Before Fred could get him down Tonks says:

"Expelliamus!"

Fred's wand flies out of his hand and skids on the floor towards Tonks. Only after ten or so minutes does Tonks let George down and has Remus hand Fred his wand. The twins soon leave laughing like crazy.

"Did you really have to do that Tonks," Remus asks.

"I just wanted some payback for their jokes and bets about us," she said as she smiled slightly deviously and as her hair changes colors.

"What do you want as a Christmas gift?"

"Something you want too Remus," she whispers in his eat, "If there'a no danger from you, how about a second chance?"

Tonks turns around to leave but before she does she turns her head to face Remus and gives him a wink. It leaves him reeling and left alone to wonder the possibilities and to also think more about Tonks.


	7. Chapter 7: Winter Hell

**Chapter 7**

Weeks after Arthur's rescue the Aurors were still wracking their brains on how Nagini had escaped so fast and why it attacked Arthur.

Tonks was sitting on the steps in front of Sirius' house. The door opens and sitting next to Tonks is Ginny. Tonks turns, looks at Ginny, and smiles.

"Hello Ginny," she said.

"Have you figured out why the snake attacked daddy, and how it got away so quickly?" Ginny asked.

"I'm still thinking about that," Tonks replies.

The day was cold, the wind freezing, and the sky cloudy; it looked like it was going to snow. Ginny wraps her arms around herself and shivers.

"You should go inside Ginny."

"Tonks, do you really love Remus?" Ginny asks, "Everyone has noticed it. Even mum told me your patronus turned into a wolf."

Tonks stands up and then helps Ginny up. She wraps her arm around her shoulder and leads her inside.

"Its getting cold," Tonks said avoiding the subject, "Let's go inside. How about I teach you a new spell?"

"You can't avoid the question. I've seen how you and Remus look at each other. Do you really love him? What's going on?"

"That's between me and Remus, Ginny," Tonks says as they go inside," Let's get some pumpkin juice okay."

Ginny isn't pleased at the answers, or lack of answers, she is getting from Tonks. She tries one more question though.

"But he is the reason why you were so depressed, isn't he?"

Tonks sighs, leads Ginny aside and says yes.

"Besides your mother, you're the only other person I told. Even though I know everyone could see it. Now how about we join everyone else, alright?"

"Alright," Ginny agrees.

Snow falls that day, and the next, and the next. Christmas was festive and Tonks enjoyed spending it with the Weasleys, Harry, Herminone, everybody. Gifts were opened gleefully and somewhat greedily. Watching all the gifts being opened was fun and filled with happiness.

"Did everyone get what they wanted," Tonks asked after all the gifts were opened.

"We all know what Tonks wants," Fred jokes, "Or should we say 'who'?"

Everyone, mainly the men and boys, laughed at this.

"Harry, did we ever tell you when we found Tonks and Lupin in his old office at Hogwarts?" Fred said with a Cheshire cat grin on his face.

He said it as if it were a dirty joke. Ginny, who was already up putting away her gifts, had heard this and slapped Fred behind his head.

"Ow!" he exclaimed as he rubbed the area his little sister had hit.

Now everyone was laughing at him and being the person he was he joined right in. Tonks got a smirk on her face as she saw this. She then turned away to think to herself. She heads upstairs to the bedroom by Sirius'. Tonks sits down on the edge of the bed. Tonks crosses her legs and lets thoughts of Remus take over her.

* * *

><p>After the talk Harry and Sirius had the house was kid free. Lupin walks into the living room and places a hand on his best mate's shoulder.<p>

"That was good Sirius, what you told him," Lupin complimented.

"He is my godson," Sirius replies, "How are things with you and―"

"Not this again. I'm to old, I'm too poor for her. I'm not good enough for her."

"You're being ridiculous Remus," Sirius says before quickly changing the subject, "SO how's your recruiting going?"

"Its getting more difficult but..." Remus trails off.

He has just seen Tonks coming in through the front door. She stopped in front of the living room for as moment and gives Remus a wink. Today her hair was a ghostly white. Sirius goes after Tonks and leaves Remus in the room for a bit. Tonks goes into another room but then quickly reappears.

"Sirius do you know where Mad Eye is? He's supposed to be here," Tonks asks.

"No he had to leave, said he caught a cold," Sirius easily lied, "Why don't you come join us in the living room. Besides Mad Eye said that they haven't gotten any leads on Death Eaters today."

Sirius leads Tonks to the living room and as she and Remus begin to talk Sirius slips out and heads to the kitchen. Awkward silences fill the room and the two of them just stare at each other. Remus began to stare out the window watching the snow turn to slush. Tonks just thinks of hurting Sirius for a minute. She then goes over to the sofa, crosses her leg, and runs her hand through her hair. The silence becomes stifling and someone had to speak.

"So Remus did you make a New Years resolution?"

"What?" Remus absentmindedly says. He was getting lost in his thoughts again.

"Did you make a New Years resolution," Tonks repeated.

Remus begins to walk over to Tonks and then sits beside her. He says yes he made one but he doesn't say anything else.

"Your hair looks nice," Remus slowly, nervously said, "How are the Aurors doing?"

"Good," Tonks said.

Sirius had secretly been watching them and was quickly getting annoyed with them. With a wave of his arm he turns some music on. Remus gets suspicious and quietly curses Sirius' name.

"Well I can see where this is going," Remus sighs.

He offers Tonks his hand. Tonks, who had also heard the slow and lovely music, is a little unsure for once.

_"Remus is really asking me to dance,"_ she thinks. Finally she takes his hand, the music begins to get a bit louder prompting Remus and Tonks to start dancing. They waltz to the beautiful music.

"I have a feeling Sirius is behind this," Remus said, "But, this is nice."

"Yes, it is," Tonks says to him."

The music begins to get slower and slower. Tonks places her head on Remus' shoulder. Sirius glaces one last time at his friends and chuckles quietly. Then he walks away, transformations into his animagus, and goes outside, then he gives into his dog side and chases a white cat down the street.

Back inside the music gets even slower. Remus decides to be romantic and gives into his feelings and kisses Tonks forehead. She then after noticing this side of him lifts her head, takes Remus face in her hands and kisses him. Remus acts impulsive, so unlike himself. He picks Tonks up and carries her upstairs and to the bedroom he has in Sirius' home.

They stop but just to turn off the lights and close the dingy, worn, dusty window curtains. It makes everything so much darker but it was a warm sort of dark as well. Later they return to making out and soon end up on the bed. Tonks hair grows whiter and then red and redder until it was a bright scarlet red. Remus wants it to continue but pushes himself off of her. He gets up and paces about the room and even begins to pull his hair out.

"Damn it. I shouldn't have done that. Damn it," he repeats over and over to himself.

Tonks' hair goes back to its ghostly white like before. She gives out an annoyed sigh and uses her elbows to prop herself up on the bed. Tonks rolls her eyes at Remus who puts his hand to his forehead as if that would help his growing migraine.

"Remus stop it," Tonks insists, "You're going to run a hole into the floor. _"Wouldn't want you to fall to the floor to your death,"_ she sarcastically mutters to herself.

Remus stops his pacing and sit down on his bed. His face looks pained and hides his face in his hands. He apologizes repeatedly to Tonks.

"Don't apologize Remus!" Tonks exclaims, "God, I thought you would've changed. That you finally realized that you are...You know what, forget it. I'm leaving. If you actually change your mind look for me at work at my house."

And so she gets up and storms away leaving Remus in darkness.

"Damn it! What's wrong with me?" Remus asks himself.

He keeps repeating the question, he bangs his head on the bedside table and slips into a deep, painful sleep filled with bittersweet dreams. Dreams he wants to come true, dreams he's scared that they will. They all say the same thing, all remind him of who he wants most.

"Tonks...Tonks...Tonks," he repeats in his sleep,"...Tonks..."

* * *

><p>"Wake up Remus! Wake up!" Sirius shouts at his friend.<p>

Remus wakes up but its like his very core has fallen asleep, never to wake up again. He tries to stand up and he does but all feeling and strength goes from all his limbs, and he falls to the hardwood floor. Its as if a dementor and just came in the room, as if they had just performed a kiss and sucked out his soul. A depression never ending, a piece forever missing. He loved Tonks, loved her so very much but what could he do?

Sirius gets the idea in his head. Quickly, very very quickly, he sends out his patronus over to the ministry. It was the next day so Tonks would probably be at work.

She was and she was in her own cubicle and was staring at the wall with pictures or dark witches and wizards. Today her hair was still white, she hadn't bothered on changing it at all, not with how she felt. Tonks was still feeling angry, angry at herself, at Remus. Regret even found its way within all her anger. Suddenly though a silver dog appears right in front of her and she knew instantly it was Sirius. She asks what he's doing here and what he's up to. With a sense of urgency in his voice Sirius says:

"Its Remus! I tried to wake him up! He did but he collapsed to the floor. I'm still with, I can't wake him up now. You might be able to help Tonks. Come over here now!"

Suddenly it was like she couldn't run fast enough. It didn't occur to her that she should have just Disapperated right then and there. Her mind races; its in a race that has gone off course, a race where the only prize was to keep one's sanity. Tonks runs and runs and runs. She doesn't feel like its getting her anywhere. It feels like she in the worst part of her mind, or maybe in the mind of someone sinister. Like the part of the mind filled with shadows, and unknown ominous things lurking around every corner. Tonks begs that she'll make it in time but unpleasant thoughts cloud her mind as well.

"What if he...dies?" Tonks gulps, "No. Don't think like that. No! He has to stay alive. I won't lose him. I won't! I won't!"

Finally ,after an eternity it seemed, she makes it to the house. Tonks doesn't bother to check to see if the front door is unlocked or not. Instead she yells:

"ALOHOMORA!" and the door violently swings open.

Tonks sprints up the stairs and almost trips going up them a couple of times. She's determined though and won't stop until she finds Remus. As she reaches the top step she trips over her own two feet again. Tonks scrambles to get up using the railing to help her.

"Remus! Remus!" Tonks calls out, "Remus where are you?"

Sirius sticks his head out the doorway down the hall and motions with his head for her to come and to hurry. Tonks does just that running so fast that she falls again by slipping on the carpet. She's horrified by what she sees. A broken Remus on the floor as if something inside him has died. Tonks falls to her knees and kneels over him crying. She lashes around and begins to yell at Sirius.

"Damn it Sirius! Go get some help!" Tonks says through blurring stinging tears, "Now damn it! Now!"

Sirius does as he's told. He wants his friend to be better and he doesn't dare refuse because of Tonks' sorrow filled rage.

"Remus. Remus its me. Its me Tonks. Wake up!" Tonks sobs and that's the last thing Sirius hears her say before he Disapperates away to get some help.


	8. Chapter 8: I Don't Love You

Chapter 8

Remus was drifting in suffocating darkness. Darkness that didn't seem to end. A place with nothing, absolutely nothing. But then a sound breaks through to him.

"...He's feverish. But he's coming to. We should leave. Tonks, are you coming?

Tonks was wiping away her tears, her hair had gone black, and sobs were choking her speech. She looks up from the chair and at Molly and whispers: "No. I'll...I'll stay here." Molly looked worried but she leaves and closes the door behind her.

Remus' hand twitches non the pillow by his head. Tonks gasps and her hope slowly begins to rise. She whispers his name and not a few seconds later his lips quiver. Tonks grabs his twitching hand.

"...Tonks... Tonks...Tonks..."he whispers.

Tonks gasps again and tears pool in her eyes again.

"Remus," she whispers back and then she kisses his forehead.

Back in the darkness Remus is struggling. Is he in hell, purgatory, what? He's feeling worse, like he is drowning. Down, down, down, he sinks into despair. He hasn't it bottom. Is there a bottom, an end to this place? Then he sees something, someone in the dark breaking through. Its Tonks and her hair is pink, the perfect bubblegum pink he always loved. This Tonks comes closer to him. She's right in front of him now, this Tonks strokes his cheek and kisses it before disappearing.

"Tonks. Tonks. Come back," he calls, "Please come back."

"What? I'm here Remus. I'm here," Tonks softly says to him.

Remus squeezes Tonks hand and he turns his head and opens his eyes. His eyes seem distant. They begin to roll to stare out the window. Tonks follows his gaze. Its night and there's a full moon.

Beat, beat, beat.

Remus' eyes look glassy, and he begins to sweat as he transforms. He shakes, he slowly sits up, and his breathing gets shallow. Everything goes so fast and before Tonks could blink Remus was a werewolf. Tonks then wrenches the door open and finds Molly.

"He looked like the saddest werewolf I've ever seen,"Tonks confides in Molly.

Molly pats Tonks' hand and pours her some tea. After they finish their cups they ended up laughing at the simplest things. When the laughter died down Tonks' smile still lingered. Its been a long time since she had laughed like that.

"Thanks Molly for being there for me."

"You're welcome dearie."

Knock, knock, knock.

"Who is it," Molly asks.

"Its me," Arthur says from the hallway.

"Come in."

Arthur does and gives his wife a hug. Then he says he has something to tell them.

"We found Remus, Tonks. I know its been hard," he solemnly says, "But he said he wanted space, time to clear his thoughts. I'm sorry."

Tonks shakes her head and tells him its okay. Not long she thinks about all that has happened between them. She can't handle this pain, this longing anymore. Before anyone ca blink her appearance changes drastically. Her hair goes back to its original brown color and everything else about her changes and she goes back to her previous depression. Tonks walks through the hall and through the house absentmindedly. Molly is worried about her friend ans asks what's wrong. Tonks gives a weak wave to brush Molly off. Tonks doesn't really look at her either.

"Yes. Yes,"she numbly says, "I'll be alright."

Tonks goes outside and sits on the steps. She feels dry sobs coming but she can't cry, can't feel a thing, all the numbness took over her. She can't take being here so she begins to wander around aimlessly. She can't help it; thoughts of Remus paralyze her . All her thoughts go to memories and dreams that would probably never come.

* * *

><p>Remus was in the forest where the Triwizard Tournament was held last year. He wandered aimlessly like Tonks, his thoughts are focused on her. Like her his mind goes to past memories and dreams. He doesn't know but they begin to dream of the same thing.<p>

* * *

><p>Remus had gone over to Tonks' house. He knocks on the door and he is very nervous. When the door opens Ted Tonks invites him in.<p>

"Hello Remus."

"Hello Ted."

"Come in. Andromeda is just talking to Dora. From the way things are going it should be over soon. Sit down.

"Thanks," and Remus sits down on the sofa, "How are you Ted?"

"Can't complain. Dora's been so excited for this night," Ted says with affection.

Soon Tonks comes out from the kitchen, her mother looks worried. Why wouldn't she? What mother would be pleased with the fact their daughter is dating a werewolf? Ted wishes his daughter to have a good time. She gives her father a hug before taking Remus' hand and leading him out of her house.

Tonks was just wearing what she usually wore, she didn't even change her hair color. It was its usual bubblegum pink. The only thing she had brought with her was her prized broom which Remus told her to bring her to bring it but didn't say why. It was their second date and all Remus said was that they were going out for coffee. After walking for sometime Tonks asks where they are going to get coffee.

"Well Herminone and harry had suggested earlier this diner that made excellent coffee," Remus said leading Tonks by her hand.

"And where is?"

He wouldn't say but just led her along the way. They didn't stop until they were at the beginning of a trail. Sirius was there and with that classic smile of his and handed him a broom...

* * *

><p>"No. No. I can't keep letting these fantasies keep taking over. No," Remus tells himself.<p>

He looks like he's about to pull out his hair. He walks around the forest like a mad man. Everything starts to blur, colors dull, nothing is as it seems, it is like a really bad acid trip. Lupin ends up leaning against a tree, closing his eyes tightly,. And tries to convince himself the lie he repeats over and over again.

"I don't love her. I don't love her," Lupin keeps saying, "I don't love Tonks. I don't love her. I don't. I don't."

Remus repeats this over and over again to himself. At first he doesn't believe it himself but with any lie a person tells after saying it several times he begins to believe it. He decides that he has to tell Tonks this. Even if it hurts her she deserves to know.

_"The sooner I tell her this the better. The sooner I tell her the sooner she can move on,"_ Remus thinks to himself, _"Yes. Yes. This is the right decision. Now to go and tell. Maybe she's still there. If not then she's most likely at work. If Tonks isn't there then she's at her house. Yes this is the right decision."_

And so he leaves the forest and in no time makes it back to the house. Remus opens the door quickly and first heads for the living room. It was early in the morning and the sky was still a light orange and pink. There was a possibility that everyone was still sleeping and if that was the case he would have to wait awhile until everyone woke up. He looks around and thinks very carefully how to say this to Tonks. As he's thinking this the truth of his feelings start coming back. Remus tries to convince himself of the false truth again.

"I don't love her. I don't love her."

Just like in the forest he continues to repeats this in his head. Like before after a few times he starts to believe it. Then he begins to stare at the window at the street scene. In the glass reflection he sees a figure curled up on the sofa sleeping. At first he doesn't believe it.

_"Tonks?"_

Tonks had ended up spending the night here. Remus doesn't know why but he guesses she was waiting for him. Her appearance, he notes, looks different then from the last time he saw her. He doesn't want to wake her up, he'll wait until she wakes up on her own. Besides she has to go to work as an Auror at the ministry so she can't stay asleep for long. The door of the living room lightly squeaks open and at the door is Sirius. His best friend motions for him to come outside with him. Like himself Sirius looked sleep deprived, mad, and lost in his own consuming thoughts that wouldn't die.

"What's going on Remus?"

"I have to tell her that I don't love her," Remus replies, "The sooner I do the sooner she can get over it."

"Bull shit Remus," Sirius angrily says to his friend, "Everyone here, even the kids, have seen you two. You can't tell me that you don't care about her. That you don't care about my cousin. Just like Tonks couldn't say that she doesn't care about you."

"It's the truth," Remus tries to lie.

"I'm your friend Remus. You can't lie to me," Sirius insists.

After arguing and staring each other down for each other they agree to disagree and head inside. Before they go inside Sirius tells his friend one last thing.

"Do what you have to do Remus but I know you and you'll regret whatever you say to her," he says and then gives him a hard pat on the back, "Although are you sure you want to do this considering that Mad Eye has taught her several things since joining the Aurors?"

"Like I said Sirius, Tonks is better off without me. The sooner I get this over with the better."

"Whatever you say Remus. Whatever helps you sleep at night."

The two friends go inside and head into the kitchen. Kreacher was fixing breakfast and getting the glasses out for the drinks. Breakfast consisted of flapjacks with too much syrup, so much coffee that it would be impossible to finish in one sitting, and a few glasses of juice. Everyone was piling into the kitchen and sitting down at the table. Molly gave Remus a hateful glare and Arthur pulled her back from doing anything else. The last to come in was Tonks who had dark dark circles under her eyes. Her eyes then widened at the sight at Remus. Remus sees the stares in that direction and he turns around and sees it is Tonks. He sees that here eyes look horrible. Darkened, dry, slightly bloodshot. He couldn't take his eyes off of her's and didn't even notice anything else about her. All he could focus on were her eyes. Remus tries to get ignore this and then the truth comes out again.

"I don't love Tonks. I don't love her. I don't," he repeats again for the third time that day.

Remus finally believes himself once more and then joins in with everyone else for breakfast. Kreacher mutters insults towards everyone.

"Mudbloods disgracing my mistress's house. Blood traitors letting them. If only Miss. Cissy and Miss. Bella were here."

Arthur and Molly were sitting next to each other. On the opposite of the table was Sirius and Remus. Right besides Remus, to the uncomfortableness to the both of them was Tonks. Breakfast was mediocre since Kreacher had made it in such a bad mood. Everyone at the table had trouble stomaching it. It looked like the flapjacks were molting and the syrup made it look like it was melting as well. Only the coffee could somewhat rid the awful taste from their mouths. When no one was paying attention Remus whispered something to Tonks.

"Can we talk Tonks after breakfast outside?"

"Sure Remus," Tonks whispers back, "This food is horrid anyways. How about in five minutes?"

"Okay."

Then they get back to try to eat the food. Sirius and been glancing at the two of them from the side of his vision. He's worried about his friend and his cousin. After all Remus was his only living best friend left. James was dead and Pettigrew was dead to him anyways. Tonks was his dear cousin. He didn't want either them to get hurt.

Five minutes have past and no one could finish this disgusting meal. It looked like breakfast was no longer the most important meal of the day. Remus and Tonks were out the room and outside before anyone could have seen them leave.

The sky was now a light blue and birds were beginning to sing their song. Remus decided to get this over with no matter how heartless this would make him sound.

"I-I don't..." his feelings begin to come back and makes his mind go into a struggle of his feelings.

_"You love her."_

_ "No I don't."_

_ "Yes you do."_

_ "I don't."_

_ "You do and the only reason you are doing this is because you love her. Trying to justify that you don't love her with reasons pointing to the fact that you do."_

_ "What do you know? Tonks deserves better than me."_

_ That just proves that you love Tonks. Don't you dare tell her that you don't."_

"Remus?" Tonks says, "Are you okay?"

That takes him out of his mental argument and he takes a deep breath and decides to finally tell her the lie he's convincing himself of.

"Tonks," he hesitates, "I care about...No...I wanted to say...No..."

"What's going on? What are you trying to say," Tonks asks concerned.

_"Don't tell her. I know you love her. Do not tell her otherwise."_

_ "But if it protects her..."_

_ "NO! Trelawny even said that there was no danger from you."_

_ "That doesn't mean that there aren't other factors against us."_

_ "True but that shouldn't be a reason to stop it."_

"Remus!"

"I don't...Tonks I think... I think that we shouldn't..." Remus continues to stammer, "I think that..."

_ "No! You will not tell her that lie you forced yourself to believe. That's what it is. A damn lie."_

_ "It's not."_

_ "Yes it is. You can lie to yourself for only so long. Saying those four words will haunt you. They will drive you mad. Its not worth it."_

_ "What would others think? What would her family think that their loved one is in love with a werewolf?"_

_ "Who cares? It only matters what you think."_

"REMUS!" Tonks shouts, "What's wrong? Tell me!"

"I don't think we should...I think we're wrong for each other."

Tonks' face twists the wrong sort of way when someone's trying to keep from crying, when someone's in denial at what they are being told. Her eyes look worse now but she still tries to reclaim some composure.

"What?'

"I don't love you," he says.

"You're lying," she says through her teeth, "You're lying. I know it."

"You're better off without me," Remus lies to himself and to her.

"Fine. Bye. I need to get to work anyway," she says and then Disapperates away leaving Remus alone with his thoughts.

_"Are you happy now yo git?"_

_ "No but its what's best for her."_

And so Remus leaves just to be anywhere but where he's at now.


	9. Chapter 9: Haunted Thoughts and Rescues

Chapter 9: Haunted Thoughts and Rescues

**I first want to say thank you to all the people who have commented so far. I you keep leaving comments. Second I do not own Harry Potter or the characters from it. I only own my imagination and the stories it comes up with. Third I do not own this Evanescence song or anything from the band. That's all I hope you like this chapter and hope you continue reading the next chapters.**

" Long lost words whisper slowly to me  
>Still can't find what keeps me here<br>When all this time I've been so hollow inside  
>I know you're still there,"<p>

-Haunted, Evanescence

_"Are you happy now? Are you happy that you said that? What the hell is wrong with you? You know you loved her and still do. You ruined it by telling her that lie."_

Remus' thoughts kept haunting coming but with new thoughts to guilt him everyday. The only peace, though small, was focusing on recruiting more people of his own kind to their side. He kept trying to put his full effort in this task Dumbledore had set upon him but part of him was continuously on what he said to Tonks, his regrets for saying that, and Tonks herself. Constantly spellbound by her, constantly wishing so may things, wishing that he was good enough for her, all of this made it hard to focus on his current task. Then the person in front of him cleared his throat several times to get Remus' attention.

"What were you about to say Remus?"

"...Oh I was saying that...instead of siding with Voldemort..." he trailed off for the umpteenth time that day. That day, that week, and for all the past months since he said those awful words to Tonks.

"You don't seem so confident," the raspy voiced person in front of him said.

"REMUS!" Tonks shouts, "What's wrong? Tell me!"

"I don't think we should...I think we're wrong for each other."

Tonks' face twists the wrong sort of way when someone's trying to keep from crying, when someone's in denial at what they are being told. Her eyes look worse now but she still tries to reclaim some composure.

"What?'

"I don't love you," he says.

"You're lying," she says through her teeth, "You're lying. I know it."

"You're better off without me," Remus lies to himself and to her.

"Fine. Bye. I need to get to work anyway."

"She would never forgive me. I can't deny that I love her, not for long, but I have to," he thinks to himself.

Remus looks around, its night out, the atmosphere looks dark but tonight it feels like a different kind of dark. Its like something horrible is about to happen but what who can be certain. He wonders what Tonks is doing but quickly puts those thoughts in the back of his mind. That ominous feeling grows stronger and stronger as if its putting pounding pressure on his heart.

"I sorry," Remus apologizes, "But I have to go. Something doesn't feel right at the moment."

As fast as he can he runs back to headquarters (Sirius' house) to find out what's been going on. Meanwhile Tonks was at at the ministry and her and the rest of the Aurors were discussing which places the Death Eaters would go and attack next.

"Well we can all safely say that under Voldemort's orders, at some point soon they're be going after the prophecy," Mad Eye said in his usual tone of voice, "Whether which Death Eaters and when is yet to be determined. Anyone have any ideas."

"Probably his most faithful servants," Tonks spoke up, "Which would mean Lucius Malfoy and probably even closer, Bellatrix Lestrange."

"Good point," an Auror said.

"Yes, and we must agree that it should be soon," another one said as well, "And we know which prophesy You-Know-Who is after right?"

"Exactly! The prophesy about Harry Potter. The boy is in constant danger and whether he or Vold―"

"Can we please just use You-Know-Who," an Auror asks.

"What? You don't like me using his name do you," Mad Eye madly exclaims, "Not using his name just causes more fear! Dumbledore knew that full well and―"

"Calm down Mad Eye," Tonks says before continuing, "Whether Harry or You-Know-Who gets the prophesy still puts him and everyone else in danger. And whatever happens and whenever the Death Eaters attack we all have to agree that its going to be soon. I have a feeling that its not going to be long, possibly within the next few days."

"Well said Tonks," Mad Eye said as he popped out his eye and began polishing it in front of everyone.

Tonks, who was sitting right besides him, got a disgusted look on her face. She crossed her other leg on top of the other and crosses her arms as well.

"Blech! Mad Eye that's disgusting! How many times does anyone have to tell you before you stop that?"Tonks complains.

"Anyone who says so knows what's coming," Mad Eye states as-a-matter-of-factually, "And it keeps them in line. Don't it?"

"Who's going to go when this happens," someone says.

"Whoever gets there first. Which would also be the strongest, fastest, most gifted. Those who can handle it. Got it?" Mad Eye replies.

Tonks began to mummer something to Mad Eye: "We should contact the other Order members Mad Eye. The ones who aren't here with us. I think something's going to happen tonight."

"Right. Stay here," he gruffly tells her. When he was slightly out of earshot he sarcastically mutters under his breath, "Wouldn't want you to lose your head if Remus was there wouldn't we?"

As Mad Eye casts his patronus he tells the rest of the Order to be on their toes.

Hours later everyone's suspicions were confirmed. Umbridge had just Apperated to the Ministry where the Aurors were at. She was frantic, her hair was wild, had quite a few bruises and cut on her, and she looked like she had been rolling about in some mud. Besides her physical appearance her haughtiness, and composure had been replaced with fear, frustration, anger, and a feeling that things must be rushed immediately.

"What the devil Delores?" Mad Eye exclaimed, "What the bloody hell is going on?"

"Those rotten children," Umbridge sobs, "They tricked me. They claimed...and then they tricked me. And those half breed of those centaurs and that giant? I did what I could."

Tonks slaps Delores. And demands her to tell them what's going on.

"Those children. Potter, the younger Weasleys, Granger..." Umbridge continued to sob and complain.

"Get on with it!" Kingsley, Mad Eye, and Tonks shouted at her.

"Their horrid friends as well," tears were stings Umbridge's eyes as she said this, "Lovegood's daughter, Longbottoms' son as well. They all went to the Department of Mysteries. Claimed a Padfoot was in danger, that Potter had to save them. His horrid, horrid friends went with him."

Shocked expressions were on everyone's faces. Gasps went around the entire group of Aurors and they all knew they had to do something or else. It would be certain death if they didn't intervene and as soon as possible. It was Kingsley who was the first to speak after what Umbridge has just told them.

"Have you told the rest of the Order?" Kingsley stated sternly, "And answer me now. None of your pointless sniveling."

"No," she answered, "Why would I tell the rest of the worthless Order."

"It appears her superiority has come back," Tonks sarcastically muttered under breath, "Maybe this time she won't be as useless."

"Quiet down Nymphadora," Mad Eye demanded.

Since this was a critical situation Tonks couldn't afford to lose her cool. Instead she focused on what was being said. This was the first time in moths her thoughts haven't been focused on Remus Lupin.

"Right then. Go home Delores," Mad Eye ordered, "But before you do get Fudge. Tell him to get the rest of the Ministry."

Mad Eye turns around and faces some other unnamed Auror and tells him to notify Dumbledore.''

"That's an order," he finishes and then he turns towards Kingsley, "Kingsley, you go to headquarters and tell them what's happening. Then come back if there's enough time. We need to make a better plan after that on how to handle this. Got it?"

"Got it," Kingsley replies and then he Disapperates and then appears at headquarters just barely landing on his feet. He knocks repetitively.

Knock, knock, knock.

Knock, knock, knock.

"For the love of God hurry up," Kingsley urgently calls out, "Damn it let me in!"

Finally Arthur Weasley opens the door.

"Yes Kingsley?"

"What the hell―Never mind! Let me and gather everyone in the dinning room! Something urgent has happened!"

And so he does and the curiosity, impatience, and panic quickly affects everyone and they haven't even heard the news yet. Molly's the most impatient of them all and Arthur and Remus seem the most composed. It is them who aren't pacing back and forth, tapping the feet and fingers nervously, and swearing at the top of their lungs.

"Tells us Kingsley. What is going on?" Remus asks.

Kingsley thinks on how to phrase this but then just decides to spit it out.

"Harry, Ron, Herminone, Ginny, Luna, and Neville have gone to the Department of Ministries. They are in trouble."

If things weren't bad before it was even worse now. Now everyone was equally frantic and was ready to go in and rescue them now. Kingsley told them to calm down and that he had to contact the rest of the Order Aurors. He sent his patronus and told Mad Eye and Tonks what was happening.

"We should go in pairs, in a specific order," Mad Eye said.

Before Mad Eye continued what he was about to say Kingsley interrupted and said he'll go by himself and first.

"Fine," Mad Eye gruffly continued, "Tonks and myself will go next. Sirius and Remus after us. We'll leave a thirty seconds to a minute after the other pair. Everyone do what you have to do to do to protect the kids. Don't stop if one of us is killed. Arthur, Molly. Stay where you are. One, Arthur, you're still in no condition to come. Two, we need someone at headquarters. Everyone understand. We begin to leave in five minutes. Got it? Five minutes! Everyone need's to be composed enough to do this."

Molly cries and Arthur comforts her by wrapping his good arm around her. Tonks gets a thought a Remus but quickly and unwillingly pushes it out of her mind. Little does she know Remus did the same thing and with the same difficulty.

Five minutes pass and they all begin to leave. As they all arrive they all see the kids being held by various Death Eaters with wands at their neck.

"Just in time," Mad Eye says to Tonks, "NOW!"

They rush toward each of the kids and get them out of harms way. In minutes everyone had arrived and Tonks saw that the kids looked surprised. She had gotten to Luna and was leading her behind the stone platform where the Veil was.

"I heard whispers," Luna says.

"That's nice, now get down! Down!"Tonks commands, Now stay here!"

Just then she heard Bellatrix coming towards her. Bellatrix began casting spells at her niece and Tonks deflected each one and casted spells and curses back at her aunt.

"Mudblood niece."

"I thought I wasn't your niece _Aunt Bella_," Tonks retorted stressing contempt on the last two words.

They dueled both clearly powerful. The sparks from their wands were bright and colorful as if they fireworks from shot off on the Fourth of July.

"MUDBLOOD!"

"Bitch!"

Looking from several yards away was Lupin. He was looking from his side vision while in the front of his mind he was focused on the duel he was in.

_"Damn, she can duel. Bellatrix is strong and Tonks is holding her own against her Death Eater aunt,"_ he thinks to himself obviously impressed by Tonks' skills, _"Now back to my duel."_

Just like Lupin had Tonks was also looking at him. She was busy fighting her aunt but in less than a second she made a subconscious decision to stare at Lupin for a minute. Bellatrix took full advantage of that. She casted a nonverbal curse on her niece knocking her down. Just as she is about to finish off her niece; Bellatrix sees her blood traitor cousin disarm and defeat Lucius.

"Blood traitor," Bellatrix says and then she strikes her cousin Sirius with a curse. As a result it pushes him into the veil.

Now Lupin and won the duel he was in and he spun around and saw Bellatrix defeating Tonks.

"Damn Bellatrix to hell," Remus said with vengeance in his voice, "I have to go to―" and then he sees Bellatrix shoot a curse at his best friend Sirius and Lupin goes into a full sprint to reach his friend. Unfortunately the curse pushed Sirius into the veil and he instantly died.

_"NO HARRY!" _he thinks and then runs at Harry who was about to dive into the Veil.

Lupin then grabs Harry from behind and binds him in his arms. They saw Bellatrix smirk and escapes into another room. Despite succeeding in keeping Harry from diving into the Veil, he wasn't able to stop him from breaking free to chase after the infamous Bellatrix. The thoughts in the back of his head, as he watches Harry chase after her, come back focused on Tonks more than ever.

"I need to check on Tonks. If she's dead I'll kill Bellatrix."

Then he hears his name being called. It was more than a whisper but not loud enough to be told by everyone.

"Remus. Remus," the voice said, "Where are you?"

Lupin determines that its Tonks and goes to the area where the calls were coming from. He sees her lying on the ground, barely sitting up using her arms to help prop her up.

"Are you okay Tonks?" Lupin urgently asks.

"I"m fine Remus," she reassures him, "I thought you didn't care about me anymore Remus."

"I didn't say I didn't care about you."

Tonks tells him about Bill and Fleur however Remus tells him its not the same.

"I love you Remus Lupin," Tonks insists, "And I know what you told me several months ago was a lie."

Tonks gives a cry of pain and suggests that they take themselves and the kids to headquarters as soon as possible.

"Fine but we're continueing this conversation later," Tonks insists.

Remus helps Tonks up and she uses Remus as a balance. Mad Eye comes over to them. He's worn out, tired and tired and outraged at seeing Tonks and Lupin together like this again.

"What the hell Tonks? These past months you've barely been able to function because of Remus. Finally you're back to your old self, and now your cling on to him all over again," Mad Eye yells.

"He's just helping me stand Mad Eye. Bellatrix saw her chance when we were dueling and attacked me and I couldn't dodge it or reflect it that time," Tonks tells Mad Eye.

"Well its almost time to leave. Dumbledore is doing an interview, finally the gits at the Daily Prophet as well as the rest of the Ministry believe him and Potter. We'll be able to take everyone to headquarters soon enough."

"That's good,"Lupin replied, Mad Eye just gave him the Evil Eye which he could do very well because of other eye.

Soon everyone was at headquarters jam packing it to full capacity. Molly and Arthur were relieved that their kids and everyone else was okay. Molly held Ron, Ginny, and Harry in a vice grip and it seemed like she would never let them go. After minutes of reuniting with each other and treating to the wounded Mad Eye cleared his throat to speak.

"Well someone has to say it, might as well be me," he said as everyone in the living room stopped and stared solemnly at him, "Sirius Black is dead. Fell into the Veil when Bellatrix Lestrange's curse hit him."

Everyone's head swung down and they took a moment of silence for their fallen friend, family member, comrade.

"I think drinks are in order," Mad said nonchalantly.

He uses his wand and passes the glasses around and fills it up with butter bear. It burns and stings everyone's throat as it goes down. Remus, when few people were looking in his direction decides to sit next to Tonks who was seated on the armchair.

"Yes Remus," Tonks says as she looks up to him.

Both her hands were clasped on her glass. Her glass was half full and she was waiting for him to speak. Tonks then decides to speak first.

"Its hard losing Sirius. Its hard losing any family member. And its also hard losing a best friend, someone who was like family. Isn't Remus."

"Yes. He understood. He was the last best friend I had that was still alive," Lupin sadly says, "Are you okay? It looked like Bellatrix got the best of you."

"She got me at a bad moment during our duel. I only wish I can finish her next time. All I really need now is to rest right now. That's all. I don't want to but I'm forced to at least for the night."

"I saw. You were brilliant against her," Lupin compliments.

"Thanks," Tonks replies, "You weren't bad yourself."

Tonks pulls on his jacket's sleeve. Remus, who was already sitting on the arm of the chair, leans down a little bit more to hear Tonks more clearly. Noe she places her arm on his shoulder in a relaxed sort of way.

"Help me up," Tonks whispers in his ear, "We're going to continue our conversation. Let's go to the kitchen to talk."

"Now? Lupin asks."

"Yes now. Let's go."

So they go into the kitchen. Kreacher makes a pure blood/mudblood comment, and leaves. Remus supports Tonks over to a chair.

"You can't ignore the subject Remus. I know that was a lie what you told me all those months ago. That 'I don't love you' was an outright lie," Tonks states boldly.

_"Crap,"_ he thinks, "It wasn't a lie."

"Then why did you help me back there?" Tonks said as she crossed her arms in front of her chest.

Remus took the chair besides her. He had to come up with something but nothing comes to mind except: "I care about you. That's why."

"Then come closer."

"What's she up to? What's she about to do? What? What?" Remus' thoughts go wild with these sort of questions as he gets closer to Tonks.

"If you don't feel anything the try to stop me."

"Stop―" but she silences him by giving him a kiss.

Its been so long. Its been so many months since they've seen each other and were together so he gives in. Neither one can help it. They both lose track of time in each other and don't even notice until the lights go off and hear footsteps go away.

As they pull away they try and catch their breaths.

"Now will you realize Remus that you are good enough?" Tonks tells him, "Do you realize that we are right for for each other?"

Remus takes a few moments to think of this. Is he? Isn't he?

_"Am I good enough for her? Or aren't I?"_

"Maybe this will help you decide,"Tonks says to him.

Right after Tonks says that she grabs the back of his head and kisses him again.


	10. Chapter 10:Sleeping Devotion

Chapter 10

**Once again thanks for the comments and please leave more. I do not own JK Rowling's Harry Potter or any of the characters. This is just my imagination running wild. I also don't own this song by Lacuna Coil. It just fit this chapter. I hope you like this chapter and keep reading the rest that comes.**

"I'll be there when there's nothing left.  
>And night and day, holding you.<br>Harmony, deep inside your soul  
>Meet me there.<p>

Can you feel me?  
>(Can you feel me?)<br>Can you feel me deep inside?"  
>-Devoted, Lacuna Coil<p>

"What the hell?" exclaimed Ron as he was coming into the kitchen along with everyone else.

What he was referring to was Lupin and Tonks on top of each other on the floor. Part of them were concealed because of the table. The other part of them was clearly seen from the other side of the table.

Fred and George were in the back of the crowd making even more comments about the couple.

"Pay up George," Fred tells George.

"Did you two make another bet about them?"Ginny asked.

"Of course little sister,"George says, "We put down a hundred galleons that Lupin would get laid and some point soon. Fred bet that it would happen today. I unfortunately lost."

"You two are really unbelievable," Herminone tells them.

"Hey Ron and Harry were in on this too," Fred nonchalantly says.

Herminone punched Ron in his shoulder and he gives out a cry of pain.

Tonks and Remus stop when they heard the first 'what the hell." Trying to get up was difficult. For one the two of them were pretty much stuck on each other, tangled up in each other. Secondly, they didn't want to move and just wanted to stay near the other, however Remus was able to slowly get up first. Lastly, when Tonks tried to get up she ended up bumping her head on the edge of the table. She fell over again but Remus caught her, unfortunately it was sort of an awkward catch. So she had use Remus to help herself to stand up and keep her balance. Although, neither of them could speak coherently, or even find the right words to say.

"Looks like Remus had something left in him," Ron said to Harry, Fred, and George.

"Yeah. Didn't know our former teacher could do it," Harry joked back.

Fred tells them to that they still need to pay up. Begrudgingly they do. Remus and Tonks look slightly embarrassed. Tonks already has her hands on his shoulder and Remus awkwardly has his arm around her waist keeping her up. Then she whispers to him.

"Let's get out of here Remus," she says.

"Agreed," he replies in a whisper as well.

And so they ignore the comments made to them (Tonks had great difficulty at ignoring Fred and George's comments) and make their way through the crowd and go outside. They end up walking a few blocks south and then go into an alleyway. When they made sure no one could see them they kiss again, this time Tonks wraps her leg around Remus' torso. Both of their hands get tangled in the others' hair. Tonks hair turns a bright scarlet red. Soon they agree to go to the Leaky Cauldron to get a room.

About an hour later Remus and Tonks arrive at the Leaky Cauldron. When they get their room they quickly head down the hall that leads to it. Midway through the hall Remus makes another unexpected move. The other side of him that's been begging to come out finally did. He suddenly lifts and picks Tonks up and carries her the rest of way to her room. Tonks wraps her arms around his neck. At the door entrance to their room they begin passionately kissing again.

* * *

><p>The room looked like all the other rooms. The curtains were open and so was the door. Then they end up on the bed. Before they do anything though Remus stops and points his wand at the door, with a swish of it he locks the door. Tonks takes care of the curtains and with the same motion of her wand she closes the curtains. They quickly get back to what they were doing before. This time they actually go farther then they had before. It was the first time that Remus had allowed this to happen.<p>

The next morning comes as quietly and unnoticeable like the one before. Orange, pink, and a slight bluish color painted the early morning sky. The colors trying to come through the curtains made everything warmer. Tonks was the first to wake up.

_"Did yesterday, did last night really happen?" _she wonders in her head, _"... Just...so... amazing...but did it happen?"_

Tonks looks around her surroundings.

_"...The Leaky Cauldron..."_

She looks to both sides of her. To her left nothing special, just a bed table. To her right was something mush more interesting.

_"Remus."_

So Tonks decides to just go with it. She leans even closer to Remus. His bare arm is already around her. Tonks just puts her lips to his neck.

"Remus," she whispers.

Then she moves up and kisses his ear.

"Remus, wake up," she says in a sing-song voice that time.

Slowly he wakes. The same thoughts that went through Tonks' head earlier go through his. Remus looks around as well and believes it when he sees Tonks beside him. An hour and a half later though everything soon fell into place for them. Every memory from the past twenty-four hours were soon cleared up. They end up making out again only today it didn't do as far as it did the night before. Now Remus is distracted by something else and Tonks picks up on it. Minutes pass before either one feels comfortable enough to speak.

"I can imagine what Sirius would say if he found out,"Remus chuckled, "He, along with Molly, had been pushing..."

Tonks laughs along with him.

"Yeah, everyone waiting for it to happen," Tonks chuckles again,"Like those Fred and George with their damn bets."

* * *

><p><em>"Fifty galleons they've snogged already and she's angry about that," George bets.<em>

_ "Deal," Fred says and then they give each other a side high five._

_ "So you think I don't care about you? Is that it?" Lupin shouts._

_ "Well you're always indecisive. You're so damn fickle!"_

_ "Want to add on to that bet Georgie?"_

_ "Sure."_

_ "Fifty more they kiss in the heat of the moment."_

_ "Deal. Anyone else want in on this?"_

"How did you find out about that?"

* * *

><p>"Ginny and Herminone told me right before I left that night."<p>

"We should leave soon."

"How long did you pay for this room Remus?"

"Three days," he answered.

"Then why leave on only the second day. Plus most of the Order and Aurors are taking some time off due to rescuing the kids."

"How do you know?"

She sighs.

"Before me and you met in the kitchen yesterday Kingsley, and later Mad Eye, told me they were going to postpone the meetings for a week so we could all settle down and have all of this sink in. Obviously Kingsley's idea though Same goes for the Order, at least for now."

Silence invades the moment and like so many times it wants to be broken yet no one's sure on how to break it.

"So Remus," Tonks asks, "How long do you think before the news on Sirius' death reaches everyone?"

"I don't know. The Daily Prophet is probably having a field day with it though," Remus answers.

Tonks cuddles up closer to Remus. They stay like that for the next few hours perfectly content. Silence could not bother them because they were now equal. When Tonks finally fell asleep Remus was still awake his thoughts running away with him again and that argument in his mid started again.

_"You finally admitted it. You admitted that you love her."_

_ "I didn't tell her."_

_ "Actions speak louder than words. You were desperate to tell her how you feel. Why else would you sleep with her?"_

_ "Damn it. I can't deny it. Not to myself, to Tonks, to anyone. She still would be better off without me. Damn it! Damn it!"_

"What the hell is wrong with me?"

"What's wrong," Tonks said with a yawn.

That last thought woke her up and she had the most wonderful dream. Remus decides to just come out with it.

"We...I'm not good for you Tonks. I'll never be what you deserve."

"Are you still on that ridiculous thought?" Tonks complains, "When are you going to realize you are good enough?"

"Like I've told you before, like I've told anyone who's asked, I know what I am and I'm not good enough for you."

"If that were the case would I still be with you now? Would I still try and make this work? Try and make you see differently?"

This continues on for some time and with the argument Remus was having with Tonks, the argument in his head was making everything worse.

_"You finally admitted it. You admitted that you love her."_

_ "I didn't tell her."_

_ "Actions speak louder than words. You were desperate to tell her how you feel. Why else would you sleep with her?"_

_ "Damn it. I can't deny it. Not to myself, to Tonks, to anyone. She still would be better off without me. Damn it! Damn it!"_

Finally though they both fall asleep Tonks letting Remus' thoughts of his inadequacy lull him to an uncomfortable sleep.


	11. Chapter 11: Decision

**Chapter 11**

A week later things start to go back to normal. Sirius was properly mourned, his will was read and carried out, and everyone begins to move on with their lives. This loss was a hard blow for everyone especially for Harry and Lupin. The latter feeling guilty about what he had done hours after his best friend's death. His thoughts were constantly haunting him, taunting him, never letting him have a moments rest. This was extremely bad during the Order meetings which despite being very important, were very dreadful. Tonks had decided never to talk to him again but what did she expect, didn't she know him? Tonight, however, was the worst time for his thoughts to torture him.

_ "You wanted to do it."_

_ "No I didn't."_

_ "You can keep saying that to yourself but you didn't do anything to stop it. Did you?"_

_ "No but―"_

_ "And if what you're saying is true the why would you let it go that far? Also if you didn't mean it then why did you act so unexpectedly at the Leaky Cauldron and carry her the rest of the way to the room? Can you explain all that away by saying you don't care, that you don't love her?"_

_ "No but it was a mistake. We should have done properly, not like that, not rushed."_

_ "Well you can't change what happened. And besides, would you even want to change what happened? No, no you wouldn't."_

_ "Damn it! Will you just stop this. Who are you anyway? You're not me!"_

_ "Wrong, I am you. The one who knows the truth, the one that wants this to happen. I'm the one that's trying to make you see reason. I have your face, your true face. You can't run from this forever, no matter how many lies and excuses you think will distance yourself from this."_

Before he knew it the meeting was over but before he could leave Molly and later Arthur had gotten to him. Molly stopped Lupin in the hall and demanded what had happened between him and Tonks, _again._

"I can't say Molly," Lupin tells her.

"Can't or won't Remus?"

"Look Molly, I won't say what happened. If Nymphadora wants to tell you than she can."

"What's wrong with you two? You and Tonks are acting like teenagers. No better than the kids at their best. Back and forth, back and forth. Never a moment of consistency. What the hell is wrong with you," Molly says, "Why can't you see what she wants and more importantly what you clearly want?"

"You don't understand. Its complicated," he tells her with a sigh.

"What don't I understand. I've seen how you and Tonks act around each other for the past year. Everyone else has seen it as well. Wanting, waiting for something more to happen. I don't condone it but this is the reason why Fred and George are constantly having bets about this. First you two hit it off, then not long after you're completely distant and the cycle continues again. I know something happened between you two recently and no one had to tell me. Everyone including myself can see it by how you act around each other."

Lupin can't say anything else against this and just lets her continue her rant.

"All end this now. Make a decision Remus. Make one or this won't end how it should."

Lupin couldn't deny this however Arthur came to talk to him next. Fortunately he was a lot more calmer than his wife. Basically Arthur said that he somewhat agree with his wife but Remus had to do what he thought was best. He thanked Arthur and then made a quick exit running, running, running until everything he knew was behind him.

"I'm selfish. I can't ignore. Selfish, selfish, selfish." but he kept running, trying to forget everything.

Months and months pass on by and soon it is spring. Lupin had been running for some time and had decided to come back to see how everyone was doing. So he goes back to headquarters and makes it back the by the next meeting which was about two weeks later. When he gets back he hadn't noticed it was autumn nor that it was Halloween. Since it was also night no one would notice him, he would be completely inconspicuous. As Remus walked up to the door he began to hesitate.

_"What if Tonks is there? Is she still angry at me?"_ Remus thinks to himself,_ "Of course she's still upset, who wouldn't be?"_

Then his thoughts began to argue with him.

_"Why can't you admit you love Nymphadora Tonks? Why else would you come back? Not for anyone else that's for sure. I know you can't deny it anymore."_

_ "You're right I can't. Like all those months ago I know I'm not good enough."_

_ "You're wrong. And if you don't get her while you have the chance. Admit it, tell her before someone else does. Do you want that?"  
><em>

_ "No."_

_ "Then tell her. Apologize. You need her and vice versa."_

It took all he could to push the thoughts away so he could focus what he was doing now. Remus had decided to do it, to tell Tonks how he feels and stick to it. Now it was time to knock on the door and see if he has the courage to go through with this.

_ Knock, Knock. Knock._

_ Knock. Knock. Knock._

Sirius comes to the door. He's shocked at his best mate's appearance after running away for many long months.

"Remus," Sirius said, "Come in."

"Did I miss the meeting," Remus asks.

"Are you _really_ here for the meeting?"

Remus doesn't answer and just comes in. The two friends go into the meeting. Everyone stops and stares at them.

"Well, well, well, look who's finally here," Severus says, "We thought you might have dropped dead. Go on Lupin, take a seat, just don't bother me."

And so he does and he suffers through the meeting. Molly, who was sitting on the other side of the table with Arthur, motions for Remus to meet her in the kitchen in five minutes. As those short five minutes pass, the two adults excuse themselves and tell Kreacher to leave the room.

"Filthy blood traitor and mudblood," and Kreacher leaves.

"Well I might as well get to it," Molly starts, "I'm not saying you're not welcome Remus but I know what's brought you back and it's not the meeting. Its taken me so much effort to get Tonks back and if you ruin― "

"I won't Molly," Remus interrupts, "You don't have to worry about that anymore."

"I know I shouldn't be so trusting but this is your last chance. If you wreck this, well lets just say it won't be pretty."

"I won't."

"Fine. I'll tell Tonks to meet you in the hallway after the meeting is over."

So both of them return to the meeting and listen to everything that was being said. However Remus (or Tonks but he didn't know it at the time) could not focus on it. His thoughts were on what was going to happen after the meeting. And though at the time it felt like the meeting was never going to end, by the time it did it felt like no time at all. He waits until everyone had left the room and the hall before he goes out into it and then waits ten minutes before Tonks actually comes out. Remus notices her hair is purple, she looks angry and hesitant at the same time. As she comes closer to him she crosses her arms but she stops short of a few feet from him.

"Molly said you wanted to talk," Tonks said venomously.

"Yes," Remus nervously said.

"About what?"

"About me apologizing and asking for one last chance."

"Why should I?" she asks.

Remus takes a step forward towards Tonks, she takes a step back.

"Because I'm not denying anything. Because I won't be indecisive this time."

"And how can I believe that?" Tonks disbelievingly says.

It would be now the boys would all be taking bets for twenty, fifty, a hundred galleons. Since they weren't there Remus and Lupin didn't have to worry about that. They just had to worry about what would happen next. Remus tries to take another step forward. Tonks lets him but remains disbelieving.

Sirius had been watching this for some time and couldn't stand his friend being shot down. So he walks down the stairs and slaps his hand on his friend's shoulder.

"Go ahead and give him this last chance Tonks. I've never seen Remus this remorseful before," Sirius tells his cousin.

Tonks thinks about this for a moment.

_"Should I believe this? Should I trust him? What? Maybe I should listen to my cousin. If it is true what he is saying. Remus does look remorseful. A test, a date. One last date to see if he really does mean what he is telling me."_

Tonks walks closer to Remus and tells Sirius to leave for a moment. Sirius does but continues to spy from the living room corner right behind the door.

"Okay Remus. A date at Hogsmeade once more. By the end of it if I think you've changed then I'll give you a last chance. A real chance. Understand?"

"Yes," Remus says, swallowing his nervousness.

Tonks leaves on her broom and back in the hall Remus can't help but slightly get his hopes up. He decides to do whatever it took to make sure he got this chance and got it right.


	12. Chapter 12: Good Enough

**Chapter 12: Good Enough**

Sunday comes around and at eight-o-clock Tonks and Remus' date begins. This time instead of Tonks waiting for Lupin to show up it was the other way around. He was nervous, very very nervous. He wanted this to go well and wanted to be ready for anything. Lupin was wearing what he usually wore only it was a darker color. He looked around and finally he saw Tonks coming towards him.

Tonks had her hair in a blue-violet color her eye makeup was the same color. Her eyes were brown now. The dress she wore was a black knee-length cocktail dress with matching flats for shoes. She wore a black flower in her hair.

Remus' throat went dry and as she came closer and closer again he got even more nervous. Now she was right in front of him.

"Remus," she said in a monotone yet somewhat excited voice.

"Tonks," Remus replies

Just like before Remus takes Tonks' hand and kisses it. Then they enter the pub and take a booth right in the center of all the other booths. As their drinks come they begin talking.

"So what did you do those months you ran away," Tonks asks as she takes a sip.

Remus had expected this but being asked this now he didn't have a good answer.

"I ran," he swallowed his drink, "I tried to forget everything, everyone, but I couldn't. I had to come back and check what had happened in my absence didn't I?"

_"Should I believe him? Oh well I have my question ready for later. The question that will determine everything," _Tonks thought.

* * *

><p>Three days before she was telling Molly this. She was helping Molly with some yard work before she went to work at the Ministry.<p>

"So what's the question? This question that will decide whether you take him back or not," Molly asked.

"Its a question an old professor told me. It says whether or not a man would be good to start dating. Before its somewhat worked I guess you can say."

"What's the question?"

"I'll tell you after I tell Remus after our date," Tonks replies.

"Are you going to tell the Ginny and Herminone that you're dating Remus again,"Molly asks.

"If it works out, yes."

"Are you sure this question is going to work?"

"Yes. Yes I do."

* * *

><p>Within fifteen minutes or so the two begin laughing at everything and anything. Tonks laughed so hard that she nearly choked Remus then had to get up and pound her on the back to stop it. Before he goes back to sit down on his side Tonks says:<p>

"You can go ahead and sit by me."

Remus is getting nervous again but takes this chance to show Tonks he cares. After a few awkward glances at each other Remus decides to take another sip from his drink. His hand shakes rapidly.

_"Don't make a damn fool of yourself. Don't, don't don__―__"_

_Splash! _Remus ends up spilling his butter beer all over his lap. Both of them gasps but with Tonks it turns into a small giggle.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," Tonks says trying to suppress her laughter, "Here, let me get you some napkins."

As she gathered up the napkins she splits half with herself and Remus. They managed to at least get pat of his pants dry. Then Tonks and Remus threw the used crinkled napkins on the table. Tonks lets out a another giggle and this time Remus had to join in. All their laughter brought tears to their eyes.

"Maybe Remus has changed. Maybe. Now I should ask him the question," Tonks thinks to herself.

"Remus?"

"Yes."

"Even though they're just part of a kids story, answer this question."

"Alright."

"Out of all three brothers in the Hallows story: the brother with the wand, the middle one with the stone, and the youngest with the cape; which one do you think would win in a duel?"******

Remus thinks about this for a few minutes. He even holds up a hand to tell her he's thinking about it.

_"Okay this could go either way. How he answers or not depends on whether I should give him this chance,"_ Tonks thinks to herself.

Finally Remus takes a deep breath and speaks.

"Well if one of the brothers were to disarm the brother with the wand he would lose. The brother with the stone couldn't use the people resurrected from the stone since they no longer belong to the living. Yet the one with the cape, if taken away, would also lose. In my opinion though I would pick the brother with the cape," Remus finishes.

_"Good answer Remus. There's a better chance for you now that you passed. You answered correctly. One more thing," _she thinks again.

Tonks smiles at Remus, a certain smile he hasn't seen in so long.

Tonks smiles at Remus, a certain smile he hasn't seen in so long. He loved that smile he just wondered what she was going to now and what that question was about. Tonks placed her hand lightly on his shoulder and whispers something in his ear, "Lets pay the check. Its your move now on where we go next."

_ "Its my move now,"_ Remus thought, _"Ah. I know where to go. I hope she doesn't suspect this."_

"Alright Tonks, if its my move then come with me," Remus says as he extends his hand out to her.

Tonks takes his hand; the smile begins to grow a little more, inch by inch. Remus was enjoying that. They exit the pub and walk a few feet away. He tells Tonks to hold on and they disappear into the darkness with a crack.

Their feet land with a thud on an old, dusty, dim, dull hardwood floor. Tonks looks around her, if she's right then she and Remus were inside the place they looked at their very first date.

"The Shrieking Shack," Tonks whispers awestruck as she turns around in a circle soaking this all in, "Remus, you're really showing me this? Does that me you trust me?"

Remus takes this as the opportune moment. Its just like that dream he had last year, all those long lonely months ago. He walks up behind Tonks and grabs both her shoulders resting his chin on her left shoulder.

"Yes," he says exactly like in his dream..

"Well in that case,"Tonks says as she takes his hand and leads him to the small bench like sofa.

As they sit down a million thoughts seem to go through Remus' mind.

_"Just like...No it can't be things are never as good as they are in a dream," he tells himself._

_ "But what if it is? Just see this through. See what happens next."_

Remus and Tonks stay sitting on that bench holding hands. It could have been minutes or hours soon Tonks rests her head on Remus' shoulder. It felt nice and it could have gone on forever if time would have allowed it. Instead Tonks whispers something in Remus' ear again and he listens intently not wanting to miss anything.

"You want to know my answer, don't you?"

Remus stays still; fearing that if he moved he would either repel her or miss what she was about to tell him.

"Yes. I'll give you another chance," and she gave him that classic smile of hers.

Time seems to run slowly and every wonderful thought that Remus had of him and Tonks came flooding back. Like the second night they met, when they first kissed.

Beat, beat, beat.

Beat, beat, beat.

The pull gets stronger and stronger. Its was just as strong then as it was now. A wind nonexistent that had reappeared again.

Beat, beat, beat.

Stronger, stronger, stronger.

And it happened, they kissed. This time they weren't interrupted by Mad Eye, Arthur, Molly, Fred, George, Ron, Herminone, and Ginny.

Just like with Remus every happy memory with him came flood back into her mind.

* * *

><p><em>….Remus took the chair besides her. He had to come up with something but nothing comes to mind except: "I care about you. That's why."<em>

_ "Then come closer."_

_ "What's she up to? What's she about to do? What? What?" Remus' thoughts go wild with these sort of questions as he gets closer to Tonks._

_ "If you don't feel anything the try to stop me."_

_ "Stop―" but she silences him by giving him a kiss._

_ Its been so long. Its been so many months since they've seen each other and were together so he gives in. Neither one can help it. They both lose track of time in each other and don't even notice until the lights go off and hear footsteps go away._

_ As they pull away they try and catch their breaths. _

_ "Now will you realize Remus that you are good enough?" Tonks tells him, "Do you realize that we are right for for each other?"_

_ Remus takes a few moments to think of this. Is he? Isn't he?_

_ "Am I good enough for her? Or aren't I?"_

_ "Maybe this will help you decide,"Tonks says to him._

_ Right after Tonks says that she grabs the back of his head and kisses him again..._

* * *

><p>In the present they begin to pull apart. Remus stands up and holds out his hand again for Tonks. She gladly accepts it and then they Disapperate and are now in front of Tonks' house.<p>

"Are you sure you want to end the date Remus," Tonks asks.

"No," he replies,"But I have a question of my own for you if that's alright."

"Go ahead," Tonks smiled.

_"What will Remus' question be?"_

"Nymphadora Tonks," Am I good enough for you?"

Tonks can't help but smile and shake her head, in awe and almost disbelief. For a moment Remus thought her response would be bad until she said:

"I can't believe it's taken you this long to see this Remus," Tonks tells him, "Yes Remus Lupin, you are good enough for me. Am I for you?"

"You've always been good enough."

The two of them then hug and kiss. Remus then walks Tonks over to the door. Unfortunately Tonks ends up tripping on the pathway to the front door. As she fell flat on her face Remus immediately rushes over to her and gently helps her up.

"Are you okay? Or was that on purpose?" Remus asks.

"Can't it be both?" Tonks replies.

Remus chuckles and Tonks had to join in and Tonks' hair almost immediately turns into its usual bright bubblegum pink color. The two of them hold hands and as Remus is about to turn away to leave he sees a shooting star.

"Did you see the star too?"

"Yes," he tells her, "What did you wished for?"

Tonks walks up to him and gives him another sparkling smile.

"Let's just say the same thing you wished for," Tonks says almost seductively and then kisses his cheek, "Goodnight Remus."

Then she she goes back to the doorstep and opens the door letting the light out. Before she goes inside though she turns to him one last time for the night and gives him her signature wink. Tonks goes inside and Remus happily walks away.

* * *

><p><strong> **For those of you who know and don't know the deathly hallows. I know that it said that they were real objects in the book. The Elder Wand, Resurrection Stone, and Invisibility Cloak. To clarify most of the people thought that it was just a silly fairytale parents tell their kids so that's why you see it mentioned as so. I hope you liked this chapter though and continue to more.**<strong>


	13. Chapter 13: Yes

**Chapter 13: Yes**

It was almost Thanksgiving and the past month has been especially joyful, as if Christmas had come early and they couldn't have enough of the gift that they had just gotten. Everyone was happy for them for the most part, happy because after this long wait Remus and Tonks had finally gotten together. Since the twins had not dropped out and didn't go to their seventh year at Hogwarts they constantly made jokes or comments about the situation. For example the third Order meeting of that month when Fred and George was actually there and not running their shop they bumped right into Remus and Tonks as they were coming in for the meeting.

"Its about time you guys finally got together," Fred exclaimed.

"Yeah, even we've been getting tired of the bets on you two," George finished, "Hey Fred."

"Yes."

"What do you think the chances they've already―"

However Tonks silenced him with her wand with a nonverbal spell. She and Remus continued walking to the meeting room and only when they were halfway through the doorway did Tonks turn around, give the twins a clever smile, and point her wand at them.

George wiggles his mouth a bit so it feels comfortable again and talks one more time.

"What do you think the chances are that those two have already slept together already?"

"I'd say a hundred galleons and find out," Fred tells him and then they shake hands and make their bet official.

"You must be tired of their constant bets, and jokes too Remus," Tonks smiles at them, "And if they keep it up we might as well give them something to talk about."

They kiss one more time before entering the room. Their hands still clasped together they take their seats, unfortunately they are right besides Severus Snape and Mad Eye Moody.

"I say we end this meeting early," Severus says, "If we're going to be distracted by the _dog_ and purple-haired _brat_ we should break for Thanksgiving a week early."

"Now Severus don't be rash," Molly told him.

However that didn't stop Severus from ending the meeting shortly and storming out in a huff. Everyone else followed suit and left for their own homes. Before Arthur and Molly left though Molly tells Tonks that Ginny wants to talk to her soon.

"Okay. Tell her we'll talk when she's out for Winter Break.

Molly sighs and follows her husband back to the Burrow.

When the room finally cleared Remus and Tonks makes their way to the living room. They begin talking about everything confiding in each other about events that they told few others.

"First and somewhat second year at Hogwarts," Tonks began slightly tapping her fingers against each other, "I was somewhat a freak. At least that's what some of the kids thought. 'Oh look at that Animagus freak!" Tonks mocked as she recalled what happened, "Look at her changing appearance!' Or, 'Its a wonder she's got that many friends, if I were them I'd cut off the friendship.' So Remus, that's why I understand your feelings of being an outsider."

"But it was and is easy making friends. I can make friends with anyone I meet for the most part."

* * *

><p>Thanksgiving came and went and so did Christmas, soon it was spring and things were getting dangerous. All the Auror and Order meeting were more frequent and stressful. One night at the Ministry the Aurors will more stressed and angry than anyone had ever seen them.<p>

"The Death Eaters aren't slowing down," Mad Eye said, "There's still the possibility that their next stop is Hogwarts. And when that comes we need to have a game plan."

"Yes but who's to say when or who's going to be there," another Auror says.

"Its probably going to be when Dumbledore is at his most vulnerable. We already know from undercover sources that they're planning on killing Dumbledore and that the boy Draco Malfoy is selected for it," Kingsley said.

"Yes,but will he follow through," Tonks added, "Do you really think that a sixteen year old boy is going to be willing to kill his headmaster? That he'll go through this with no hesitation?"

"You're right," another unnamed Auror agreed, "But who exactly is going to be there."

"Are you new or what? Get your head in the game and pay attention," Mad Eye said impatiently, "You should know that his most faithful Death Eaters. Dolohov, Goyle..."

"Crabe," Kingsley answered next.

"Lucius, Bellatrix," Tonks replied lastly, "Just to name a few."

"Okay, okay. I see now!"the Auror said wanting the spotlight off of him, "Then how are we going to come up with a good plan?"

"Well we know that neither of them will touch Dumbledore so the Malfoy boy can kill Dumbledore himself," Mad Eye stated as he popped out his eye.

Tonks gave out a sound of disgust as she saw him do this. For some reason she was the one who always saw Mad Eye pop out his eye to polish it. Then he shoved his eye back in and and continued speaking.

"We also need to figure out which one of us will take on who when and if it comes down to a fight. Its pretty safe to say that the Dark Lord's most faithful servant Bellatrix will take on Tonks."

"Who's to say that's a bad thing I've got a score to settle with her anyway," Tonks said venomously.

"Put it out of you mind Nymphadora. Bellatrix has a problem with all of us."

Tonks got that look of pure anger in her voice and her hair turned that bright orange color whenever someone said her first name.

"Never call me Nymphadora! You already know that Mad Eye," Tonks angrily said.

"You're back to normal. I see that your obsession with Remus had gone away," that unnamed Auror teased.

Tonks got even angrier and began to turn on that Auror, Mad Eye pulls her back and line, and her hair color changes back to pink.

None of then suspect that their fears would be realized in such a short time. That what they were making plans for would take place in just a few months time and time can be funny. In the present it feels like you have all the time in the world but in the end its gone by in less time it takes to blink. In all that time they were planning the months continued to go by and soon, though they didn't know it, it was time to assemble and put their plan into action.

Tonks goes and looks out the window of that floor. The nighttime sky looked angry and ominous. Its was like it knew something was about to happen, something that couldn't be stopped. Mad Eye walks up beside her.

"It looks like we're about to face the inevitable," Tonks tells him.

"Oh well. Better not waste time staring out into the stars. Its not like they kn ow what is to happen," Mad Eye replies and then walks away.

"Do you really think that Draco kid is going to follow through with it," an Auror asked.

"Truthfully, no," Kingsley said, "Imagine if you were in his place. Though being threatened by death by Voldemort, could you kill a teacher? Could you kill the headmaster? Being afraid of what would happen if you defied both. No, I don't think he will. Dumbledore would probably be killed by someone else."

"And if that's the case we should be ready to take on whoever it is. Whoever helps him, and the kids if they get caught in the crossfire," Tonks suddenly added.

"Well said Tonks," Kingsley and the other Auror agreed.

"Yes, well said," Mad Eye said as he cleared his throat.

"And we should be prepared that it could happen any moment,"the other Auror replied.

Everyone agrees with that statement but none of them knew that they had to be ready tonight.

Sometime late that night when they were all ready to head home the Minister's patronus appeared before them. What came out of its voice was very frantic and almost incoherent, it said:

"Trouble at Hogwarts. Dumbledore is dead, Death Eaters everywhere. Hurry!"

So all the Aurors scrambled around and in a planned chaos they all Disaperate(brooms in hand just in case)to Hogwarts. When they arrived the sky looked angry, like it had caught on fire, or like it was bleeding and just wanted this to end.

"...You coward! Fight back!" the Aurors heard Harry yell at Snape.

"Looks like Snape's making a successful getaway," Tonks tells Mad Eye.

"Look sharp. Death Eaters are coming," Mad Eye says before going after and trying to stop all their escapes.

Tonks does the same and who else does she run into than her mental aunt.

"Hello Bellatrix," Tonks vengefully tells her aunt,

"Well what do you, its the littlest Mudblood Auror," Bellatrix mocks, "If you're going to get in my way then you're more stupid than I thought.

Bellatrix fires curses at her niece; Tonks does the same. Both land shots surprises the other at their skill. However the Aurors also had to protect the students at Hogwarts from the Death Eaters and this dangerous situation.

"NO!" Remus cried out.

Tonks can't focus on him all her attention is directed at her mad aunt. This battle seems to go on for a long time and in the back of her mind she wonders what Remus is thinking. Across the grounds she doesn't know that Remus' thoughts won't quiet down for a moment.

_"Dumbledore can't be dead. He can't be! Damn Severus to hell!" Remus thinks, "And since he's dead..."_

_"That's it, you're finally going to tell her! To ask her to_―_"_

_"Yes I will but right now there's Death Eaters to kill."_

And so he attacks the Death Eaters and begs that someone will get that bloody traitor named Severus Snape.

After what seemed like an eternity the battle ends, but it was time to deal with Dumbledore and his funeral.

* * *

><p>It seemed like his funeral happened too soon like this wasn't enough time to mourn. Everyone was dressed in black and all the black colors flooded the entire area outside. Remus was walking to the rows of chairs trying to find a good seat. He then sees Tonks in a row in the middle but before he can sit down there another person comes up to him and tells him that last night was the only time they'd ever seen him lose his temper.<p>

"Yes," Remus sighs, "But this isn't about me. We're here to honor and mourn a great man, a great wizard. So why don't you sit down."

The person sits down in one of the farther back rows and Remus makes his way down the row Tonks, with Mad Eye on the other side of her, was sitting. He saw her hair was dark black, eyes gray, wearing a black mourning dress with matching heels, and a mourning veil in front of her face.

"Can I sit here?" Remus asks.

"Sure Remus," Tonks replies, Mad Eye just grunts.

The service was beautiful so many tears were shed it was like a thousand Dementors had sucked the happiness from the world. No one felt like they would be happy again for sometime. As the funeral came to a close Remus asked if he could meet Tonks in his old classroom in about ten or so minutes and Tonks agrees.

* * *

><p>Ten minutes go by and Tonks meets Remus in the classroom.<p>

_"Looks the same as it always had," _she thinks as she walks down the row of desks, _"The only thing missing is the kids or Umbridge."_

She then sees Remus at the front of the room picking some random object on the teacher's desk. Tonks says hello to him which surprises him.

"Hello," he finally says as he walks closer to Tonks.

"It doesn't seem real," Tonks says, "Like he should still be alive."

"Or that Snape hadn't been the one that killed him," Remus added.

"What's this about Remus? What do you want to tell me?"

Remus begins pacing back and forth like he's done so many times before. He massages his temples as if that will rid the pain and how he was to say this.

_"How does one say something like this? How do ask this sort of question? What are the steps?"_ he thinks.

Tonks grew suspicious of Remus' uneasiness and it shows in her facial expression. As he continues his pacing and slight mutterings it doesn't make Tonks feel any better.

_"What's does he want? The last time he was like this he...That's probably it. Its not surprising he'd break his promise. Why bother even staying here.? I knew it Remus would never change," _and so Tonks decides to follow her thoughts and begin to leave the room.

Remus sees this and chases after Tonks.

"Wait! Tonks wait!" Remus calls out, but she still doesn't stop and Remus decides to do what he did last year, "Nymphadora! Nymphadora!"

Just like that time before her hair begins to change colors. It goes from the dark black to its usual bright orange it turned to whenever she got angry. Tonks then storms over to Remus and gets in his face.

"Never call me Nymphadora! You should have remembered that from the last time this happened!"

"Only this time I'm not being indecisive," Remus states, "And you're running away like you think I am."

"Because you're acting like you're about to give up and say you're not good enough then runaway like a coward!"

"You don't understand―"

"Don't I? I know more about you than you think," Tonks exclaims and then she turns to leave again this time making it to the doorway.

Before she could leave the room Remus calls out something to her one last time.

_"YOU'RE REALLY GOING TO RUNAWAY FROM ME WHEN I'M ASKING TO MARRY YOU?"_ Remus shouts.

Tonks stops and leans against the doorway almost afraid to turn around. Her hair goes down to a lighter shade of orange and Remus slowly makes his way towards her. His footsteps mingle with the footsteps he can hear coming to the room. He had to tell Tonks again she looked as if she did not believe him.

_"Did he really say that?"_

_"Yes he did, but do you believe him?"_

_"Yes...No...Yes...I don't know..."_

_"Don't you want to spend the rest of your life with him? Don't you love him?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Then tell him so. Tell him yes."_

_"But does he.. does Remus mean..."_

_"YES. Tell him."_

The footsteps come closer and closer so Remus and Tonks have to get this over quickly. Remus takes a few deep breaths before saying what he's about to say again.

"Marry me Nymphadora Tonks. Marry me," he says as if out of breath, "Marry me."

The footsteps are getting even closer now and voices begin to match the footsteps. McGonnagal, Slughorn, Flitwick, Luna from Ravenclaw, Neville, Dean, Lavender, Ginny from Griffendor, a few Hugglepuff students, and a few unnamed students from Slytherin were in the crowd. They were coming closer and no doubt they could hear what Remus and Tonks were talking about. Soon the crowd was close enough that they could see the two of them. Tonks at that moment waved her wand and locked the door and then turns around to face Remus.

"What," Tonks said as if in a daze, "What did you say?"

"Will you marry me Nymphadora Tonks?" Remus asks again. His face looks like a combination of his own and a wolf version of the sad begging puppy dog face, "Marry me."

"Say yes!" The crowd outside said as they banged on the door.

"We know what the majority thinks Tonks," Remus says, "But what about you. Tell me no if you want but my feelings won't change."

Tonks just nods with tears falling down her cheeks.

"Yes. Yes I'll marry you," she said tearfully before she embraces Remus.

"Finally," the crowd outside exclaims.

"I love weddings," Luna says, "Do you think they'll have an outdoor wedding Neville?"

"I don't know."

"What do you think Professors," Luna added.

"Well its about time Remus was happy," Professors McGonnagal and Flitwick agreed.

"Didn't know that Auror liked being slobbered on by a dog," the Slytherin mocked, "Maybe she would like my dog?"

"Professor Flitwick, take this Slytherin away to the dormitories," McGonnagal said.

Back in the room Remus and Tonks hold hands and and Remus pulls Tonks closer and they kiss.

"I love you," they whisper to each other.

"Awwww," Luna says.

"Are we invited to the wedding?" Ginny asks.

"Maybe they don't want us there," Neville says.

Dean agrees.

"Have some hope Neville," Luna says.

However Tonks and Remus don't hear them they're too wrapped up in each other to care what was happening in the outside world.


	14. Chapter 14:Preparations

Chapter 14: Preparations 

"I think we should tell Ted and Andromeda first," Remus says after they finish snogging away, "They should know first."

"Well I think its too late for them to be first," Tonks giggles.

Tonks waves her wand at the door and unlocks it.

"Come on in everybody. You already know anyway."

Luna and Neville were the first to come in, then the professors did, and finally the rest of the crowd. They ask if they're invited and the couple says that they are. McGonnagal tells the two that she is so happy for them Suddenly though a thought strikes Remus and he whispers it to Tonks. He grabs her hand and the two of them run away quickly. They don't stop until they reach the the staircase that leads to the dormitories. Tonks leans against the wall and Remus does the same.

"What wrong Remus?"

"What will your family think? As well as everyone else," Remus worries,"You know how people treat my kind. Are you sure you can handle how they'll treat you once we're married? Didn't you already tell me weeks ago that things have been different with how you've been treated since we've started dating seriously..."

"So are you going to take back what you said? Are we not getting married after all," Tonks said venomously.

"Yes we are, but―"

"Remus I don't care what people say. I don't need their approval. And don't worry about what people think of you," Tonks said, "It only matters what you think of yourself."

"But what if―"

"Do you love me Remus?"

"Yes."

"Then do this for me. Don't you want to get married too?"

"Yes."

"Then lets go to my parents and tell them and lets go now."

Remus looks into her eyes and smiles. He takes her hands in his and tells her that he can't say no to her when she's like this. She laughs and hugs him, then they take off on broom and head to Tonks' parents' house.

* * *

><p>It was sometime in the evening and the first stars were beginning to come out. Tonks had her key and opened the front door and with a squeak it opened. They walked inside and saw Andromeda waiting nervously in the kitchen. Ted was waiting in the chair in the living room. Tonks changed her hair to a blue-violet color with stands of pink in it. She takes a few deep breaths but the memory of when her mum first suspected that she had feeling for Remus came back flooding her mind. Of course her mum would be overly cautious, and worried but what she said then she thought of the first dreams she had of Remus.<p>

Remus notices Tonks vacant look in her eyes and gives her a slight nudge. She walks over and calls to her parents.

"Mum. Dad. I'm back and I brought Remus with me."

Andromeda runs over to her daughter and embraces her in a suffocating way. Ted tells his wife to let up a little and Tonks stumbles and sits on the sofa. Remus slowly makes his way from the front door and sits next to Tonks. He intertwines his fingers and puts his hands to his face and wonders deep in thought.

_ "How do I tell her parents this? That I asked her to marry me,"_ Remus thinks, "_That I love her so much._

Tonks places a hand on his leg and it begins to calm down his fears.

Andromeda stands by her husband and they ask what is going on.

"Mum, dad, we have some great news," Tonks smiles at them.

"Oh My God, you're pregnant!" Andromeda exclaimed.

Tonks quickly denies this and Ted tries to cam his wife down. Remus gets nervous again and the deep breaths he tries to take feel shallow and suffocating. Its almost like he's drowning and his thoughts go to that date they had at Hogsmeade. He had been so nervous that he ended up spilling his drink all over himself. Sure the date ended happily but his fear of what would happen was unbearable and tonight the fear felt worse.

Remus cleared his throat by coughing a few times.

"Now Remus," Tonks whispers to him.

Remus clears his throat again and gets up and speaks to Ted and Andromeda.

"What is it Remus?" Ted asks.

"I suppose I should get this out now Ted, Andromeda," Remus says, "I love Tonks...and I asked her to marry me, and she said yes."

Tonks gets up and wraps her arms around his arm as she sees the different expressions appear on her parents face. Her father looks happy, her mother does not and its not the expression that could be explained away easily.

"I love Remus too mum and I don't care what you think, we will get married, with or without your approval."

"Don't be hasty Dora," her father says, "We're happy for you. You're mother's just a little concerned.

"How can you say that Ted," Andromeda says, "Didn't you see that for months Nymphadora was miserable. That nothing was the same with her..."

Remus' guilt from that returns. He can never forgive himself for that.

"Look Andromeda, that was something I'll always regret for the rest of my life. I promise I'll always treat her right, that I will always protect her. Tonks has accepted me please, can you?"

Ted can but Andromeda is still a little hesitant. Tonks hugs her father.

"Thanks dad," and as she turns to her mother she says, "Well mother, can you accept us?"

"So, Nymphadora, when's the wedding," her mother asked with a huge sigh.

She hugs her daughter and says:

"I don't want any bad blood between us sweetheart. I want to see you get married."

"Thanks mum," Tonks tells her mother.

They all sit back down and after sometime Ted finally speaks again.

"So, do you plan to move in together before you get married? Do you need help finding a place? Ted asks.

"Thanks dad but me and Remus saw a flat on our way here. He said that he was going to check it out within the next few days."

"Oh," her mother said, "Do you need furniture then if this pans out?"

"Maybe just a few pieces," Remus says, "In fact it might be better if I check it out now."

"Good thinking," Ted says.

"I'll show you to the door Remus," Tonks says.

Ted gets up before his daughter.

"If you don't mind Dora, I'd like to do that. I need to have a word with your fiance."

"Sure Dad."

Remus agrees and they head outside and step outside onto the front steps. Ted closes the door behind him and pats Remus on the back quickly.

"Look I am happy for you and my daughter," Ted says, "But if you do _anything_ to hurt her, physically or emotionally, I'll kill you."

Remus had expected this and takes another deep breath.

"You don't have to worry about that Ted. I will never hurt her. You have my word."

"I'd better Remus."

"I'll make the Unbreakable Vow if that helps you and Andromeda see how much I mean this. How much I love your daughter."

Ted sees how much Remus means this and holds the edge of the front door open slightly.

"That won't be necessary. Anyone willing to do that and for my daughter is worthy."

"Thank you."

"Now get on, go check out that flat you and Dora told us about."

Remus says he will and Disapperates away since Tonks had the broom.

* * *

><p>The flat that he and Tonks were telling her parents about was on the edge of a small Muggle village half of the flat was technically in the village while the other half was on the outskirts of the village. If he could, he was hoping to get the half on the outskirts of the village, just as an extra precaution for those full moon nights.<p>

Remus walks over the the man standing in front of the house. At about three or so yards away from the man he notices something off about him, as if he has seen him before. However he puts the thought out of his head for now and continues with what he had come here for. The man begins to walk up to Remus.

"Why hello dear sir," the man says, "Are you here to see the house? Is it everything to your liking so far?"

Remus says that it is, from the outside it looks wonderful, and soon he and the man take a look inside.

"As you can see this is a two floor flat. The other side is already inhabited by a lovely family. By the way, I am Wilbert. And you are?"

"Remus Lupin."

And the two men shake hands and continue the tour. Their next stop is the small living room.

"Perfect for relaxing," Wilbert says in a car salesman excitement in his voice, and down the short hall there is the kitchen."

The kitchen was even smaller than the living room. Wilbert said the furniture on this first floor comes with the house. Then the two of them head back into the hall and head up the stairs. Down the hallway upstairs is the one bedroom and one bathroom as well as a small hallway closet. The bedroom was a decent size for a house like this. It had a closet as well and a nice view of the moors behind the house.

"Tonks can have the closet," Remus says.

"Oh, is this Tonks someone special?" Wilbert asks.

"Yes," Remus says as he steps out of the closet to face him, "I'm getting married to her."

"How wonderful! Well this is the perfect house for newlyweds," he says.

As soon as the tour is over they walk over to the front door and begin to discuss the price.

"So how much does this place cost?"

"About fifteen hundred galleons. But, I'd be willing to haggle over the price," Wilbert says with a crooked smile on his face.

And so the two of them haggle over the price and Remus talks Wilbert down to a thousand and writes a check for it. Wilbert gives Remus the deed to the house as well as the key. Remus stuffs the key into his pocket and watches the man leave and walk away. After about ten minutes of taking this feeling he has in he decides to tell Tonks this. Remus checks his watch.

"Eight forty-five at night," he says, "There's a chance she's still awake. Might as well try."

He casts his patronus and with luck he gets Tonks and sees she's awake.

"I bought the flat. I'll pick you up after the Auror meeting tomorrow afternoon at around three so you can see the flat."

* * *

><p>The next day Tonks could hardly concentrate at her job. Everyone else had definitely noticed a sudden change.<p>

_"... Wow, Tonks sure is cheerful, and more mellow..."_

_ "...Yes, it appears so. Do you know why?..."_

_ "..."No..."_

_ "...You know what I heard?..."_

_ "...What?..."_

_ "...That she just got engaged to that Remus Lupin..."  
><em>

_"...NO!..."_

_ "...That werewolf who used to teach at Hogwarts?..."_

_ "...The very one..."_

_ "...Never knew she like to be slobbered on..."_

They are laugh maliciously.

Tonks overhears them and storms over to them.

"Aw ladies, don't be jealous because the men you're with can't satisfy you. Maybe one day you'll be happy," Tonks says sarcastically, "Why don't you go back to work instead of gossiping like little old bats?"

Tonks goes back to where she was before and talks to Mad Eye. She had already invited him of course and in his own way he said he'd be there.

* * *

><p>Time passes and soon Remus is there and picks Tonks up. They head inside the flat and Remus gives her a tour of the house. Finally when the tour is over they walk down the stairs and sit on the last step.<p>

"Well it looks like all we're need for furniture is just for the bedroom. Other than than we'll just need towels, dish rags for the kitchen, glasses, china, and silverware for the kitchen as well," Tonks says, "You did a good job at getting this house Remus."

"I just want you to have everything that I can give you Tonks," Remus says, "How was work?"

"It was fine," she tells him.

She decides against telling Remus what some of the elder ladies were talking about. _"It'd only make think that this is a bad idea."_ Later Remus sees Tonks off as she flies on her broom back to her parents' house to tell them about the good news for today.

When she gets there they tell her that they have extra towels, china, and a few more things that they have been saving for just such an occasion.

"How long have you've been saving these mum?"

"Since you were born," her father said, "Your mother has been planning for this moment for years."

Both Tonks and her father laugh at this while Andromeda hands her daughter all the things she has saved for her.

"Thanks Mum, Dad," Tonks said.

Then she carefully packed the things she was given and packs her things from her room and once again says goodbye to her parents. Tonks then Disapperates away to her new home with Remus. They then put away the few dishes and towels they were given into the kitchen and bathroom.

"Now that just leaves getting the furniture for the bedroom," Remus says.

"At least there's a living room for now."

* * *

><p>Within the next week they get the rest of the furniture and begin to work on the wedding preparations now. Sometime at the end of the week though everyone had heard about their wedding. Some were ecstatic, others not so much. Sunday though was the worst day for horrible comments about the two of them.<p>

Remus and Tonks were waiting in line at Gringrotts when they heard a certain familiar voice. It was the voice of Lucius Malfoy with his sister-in-law, Tonks mad aunt, Bellatrix Lestrange.

"Why if it isn't my mudblood niece and her pet, the infamous werewolf Lupin," Bellatrix said in a mocking voice.

"Calm down Bella, we need to get the money for the dark lord," Lucius says.

However Bellatrix doesn't stop. Instead she begins to circle Tonks and Remus like a hawk.

"Now tell me Mudblood If you two mate then how will your half breed spawns turn out. Or is the werewolf sterile and lost his manhood."

Bellatrix cackles meanly.

"Bite me Bellatrix." Tonks retorts, "Isn't it true that your old husband wasn't so great either. I heard that he had a drinking problem because he had a small―"

"Crucio!" shouted Bellatrix as she pointed her wand at her niece.

Tonks was able to dive out of the way and point her wand at Bellatrix.

"You four!" a goblin shouted at them, "Take this outside. Get out!"

And so Bellatrix and Lucius left for the Malfoy Manor. As Remus and Tonks get outside Tonks sees a dejected sort of look on Remus' face. They walk back to Diagon Alley to go to their home, neither one of them caring that they had a broom with them. They stop at the counter for a second.

"Fire whiskey," she asks the man behind the counter for, "And make it two."

The man quickly brings them two glasses of fire whiskey.

"How many people have told you things like that Tonks?" Remus asks as he takes a few gulps of his drink.

Tonks is hesitant of answering.

"A few," she says, "It doesn't matter."

"Doesn't matter," he mutters before actually looking at Tonks, "It does matter especially if I ruin your life."

"God! Remus we've gone over this. You're not ruining anything. You are good enough. Dammit! I thought we had this settled?" she lets out a sigh, "Maybe it would be better if we just eloped or just have Mad Eye as the witness. Would that be better?"

"I don't want you to sacrifice anything for me," he said.

"I'm not but if this is the only way to make you feel better about this situation then lets do it. We will just have a small wedding. We can have it at home, Mad Eye can be the witness, and we can get a minister to marry us."

"I'm not worth anyone's, not even from you, sacrifice."

"That's not true Remus," she says, "Plus I know you would do the same thing for me."

Remus says that he would always do that for her.

"Remember when we came back from rescuing the kids from the ministry," Tonks says.

* * *

><p><em>"Crap," he thinks, "It wasn't a lie."<em>

_ "Then why did you help me back there?" Tonks said as she crossed her arms in front of her chest._

_ Remus took the chair besides her. He had to come up with something but nothing comes to mind except: "I care about you. That's why."_

_ "Then come closer."  
><em>

_ "What's she up to? What's she about to do? What? What?" Remus' thoughts go wild with these sort of questions as he gets closer to Tonks._

_ "If you don't feel anything the try to stop me."_

_ "Stop―" but she silences him by giving him a kiss._

_ Its been so long. Its been so many months since they've seen each other and were together so he gives in. Neither one can help it. They both lose track of time in each other and don't even notice until the lights go off and hear footsteps go away._

_ As they pull away they try and catch their breaths._

_ "Now will you realize Remus that you are good enough?" Tonks tells him, "Do you realize that we are right for for each other?"_

_ Remus takes a few moments to think of this. Is he? Isn't he?_

_ "Am I good enough for her? Or aren't I?"_

_ "Maybe this will help you decide,"Tonks says to him._

_ Right after Tonks says that she grabs the back of his head and kisses him again._

* * *

><p>Back in the present the two of them head home and plan the rest of their, now small, wedding.<p> 


	15. Chapter 15: The Wedding

**Chapter 15: The Wedding**

"They are in bad faith―they are afraid―and fear, bad faith has an aroma that the gods find delicious. Yes, the gods like that, the pitiful souls." ~Jean-Paul Sartre

* * *

><p>It was now two weeks before Remus and Tonks were scheduled to be married. It was just going to be a simple small wedding with just Mad Eye as a witness, and the minister to marry them. They planned to have the wedding in their living room. The two of them had everything ready and cleaned two weeks early and by evening they were extremely tired.<p>

As they head to their bedroom and Tonks goes to the bathroom to take a quick shower. Remus get a thought in his head. He has to ask Tonks this, she's sacrificed so much for him already.

"Are you sure Tonks that you don't want to go anywhere for our honeymoon?" Remus asks, "I don't want you to miss anything, to sacrifice anything else for me."

"No Remus," Tonks calls from the bathroom down the hall, "I'm completely fine with not going anywhere for it. Even when I thought about getting married when I was a teenager I never wanted an over the top honeymoon."

Remus isn't convinced, he still wants her to have the wedding and the honeymoon of her dreams.

_"What's wrong with me? She giving up so many things for me. I am selfish. Tonks should get whatever she desires, she deserves so much better than me,"_ Remus thinks to himself.

He lies there on the bed and thinks of everything wrong with him, and lets every bad thought take over his mind. Thirty minutes pass and he can't deal with these thoughts. Its always the same thoughts that have been haunting him for years. He needs to tell her what's on his mind now and so Remus gets up and goes out into the hall walking the short distance to the bathroom. He taps lightly on the door.

Tap, tap, tap. Tap, tap, tapping on the door repeatedly.

"Yes," she says from inside.

"Do you love me?"

_Click!_

The door is unlocked and Tonks sticks her head out. Drops of water drip from her hair and onto the hardwood hallway floor. Tonks gets that classic expression on her face and holds the door open so she can see Remus' face.

"What?" Tonks says.

"Do you love me?" Remus asks again.

"Come in," she says in a frustrated tone as she pulls Remus in and locks the door behind them, "What is this about Remus? Getting cold feet? Are those thoughts of inadequacy taking over again?"

"I don't want to take anything from you," he says.

Tonks walks around and stands behind Remus and he feels the soft warm towel wrapped around Tonks brush his arm. She makes him face the medium-sized mirror. As all the tales go mirrors never lie. Even if they are not enchanted in any way, mirrors never lie, they always show the truth. She places her fingers on his shoulders and gets a firm grip on them.

"What do you see Remus? Tell me," Tonks orders him.

Remus looks into the mirror. The slightly blurry from the steam from the shower but he can still discern the both of them in it. He knows what he thinks, what he sees, and knows as fact.

"I see myself with the most beautiful person I know and love."

"What do you see of yourself?"

"I see a selfish man letting you make too many sacrifices for for someone who doesn't deserve them."

Tonks walks back in front of him and looks him in the eye. Her dripping hair turns a sunset sort of color. A yellow, orange, pink, blue sort of color; the water dripping down makes it look like its melting.

"That's where you're wrong. I see a kind, intelligent, brave man in that mirror," she points to the mirror as she says this, "Who is also good enough and who I am deeply, truly in love with."

"I love you too."

Tonks takes his hands and slowly places them on her waist. She wraps her arms around his neck and whispers, "Prove it," in his ear. And to prove it he kisses her and end their night better than it began.

* * *

><p>Golden, molten bells could have been chiming from the way things have felt that day. It was the day of Remus and Tonks' wedding and so far it was going smoothly. "Let's hope it stays that way," both of the said at various points during the day. Right now the two of them were in their kitchen thinking that in a few hours time they would be married. Tonks was getting them both some ice water as she sits back down at the table Remus gets his wand out and sets the good glasses out for their dinner later.<p>

"I should have thought of that," Tonks said with a smile, "My hands are shaking from excitement."

Remus laughs at this and finishes half of his glass of water. He then takes her hand with his own.

"What time is it?"

"Ten forty-five," he answers.

"A little over seven hours until we are married."

"Don't tell me you're getting cold feet now."

Tonks laughs.

"No. I'm just nervous and excited about being Mrs. Lupin."

Remus' smile goes and reaches from ear to ear, like a Cheshire Cat. He's touched. He never thought this day would come, that he was meant for such happiness, but now he sees he is and that someone loves him this much. The only other people he felt that loved him was James and Sirius, and that was more of a brotherly kind of love.

"Shouldn't Andromeda be here to help you with your dress?" Remus asked.

"Always the traditional one Remus, but what's traditional about us. Any of us?" Tonks smirks, "I'm not going to wear a dress. What's the point if its only us, Mad Eye, and the Minister."

Remus gets slightly guilty but he pushes this out of his mind and gets up to make himself a cup of coffee. With a wave of his wand his wonderful black coffee appears. Remus finishes the cup of coffee in on gulp. And then drinks another cupful in one gulp as well.

As he goes back over to Tonks he takes her hand and leads her to the small living room that they have. They sit on the short small sofa and Remus pulls Tonks onto his lap. She points her wand at the light sources in the room and turns them out. The only light now was coming from the blue sky outside.

Hours pass and soon Mad Eye comes and has the Minister along with him at the front door.

"About time you two did something about your relationship."

"Always a pleasure Mad Eye," Tonks says as she invites them in.

"Not a bad home," the Minister says.

"Thank you," Tonks tells him.

"So where are we performing the wedding service?"

"In the living room. Remus is waiting."

They all enter the room. Tonks stands to Remus' left, Mad Eye a couple of feet behind them by the window, and the Minister was standing right in front of the two ready to perform the service.

He says the words, and Remus and Tonks repeats them when it comes to their turn. Finally he says the words: "...And I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride." So Remus and Tonks kiss, Mad Eye clears his throat and the Minister smiles in a happy perverted way. As they pull apart Remus says:

"Can I offer―Can we offer you two something to drink?" Remus asked, "Water, Fire Whiskey, wine, anything?"

"Some Fire Whiskey Remus," Mad Eye says and as the Minister nods in agreement Mad Eye says, "Tonks, I still expect to see you at work next week. And to the both of you, at the Order meetings. I won't expect anything else just because you two are now married."

"Absolutely Mad Eye," Remus says.

Soon both the Minister and Mad Eye leave the two alone and their honeymoon officially starts. So in a prince charming moment Remus sweeps Tonks up and carries her to their room. He closes their bedroom door behind him and he sets her down on the bed.

"I love you Nymphadora," he says.

"Prove it," she says and the night begins as happily and passionately than any night they've had so far.


	16. Chapter 16: Rescuing Harry

**Chapter 16: Rescuing Harry**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, this is just a story that I'm just running with.**

**Comment Please.**

* * *

><p>It was July and only hours before Remus and Tonks were scheduled to meet at the Dursley's house to move Harry to the Burrow. They had everything ready for their departure but they still worried. In the living room the two of them were talking about the plan, well, Remus was talking Tonks was lost in her own thoughts.<p>

_"This is wonderful news, but how am I supposed to tell him? Well, Remus can only take it one of two ways. One, be extremely happy like myself, or two...I don't want to think about the second option," _Tonks thought to herself.

Deep in thought she began walking to the doorway between the living room and the hallway. Tonks leaned against the frame and placed her hands to her stomach. She cleared her throat and called for Remus.

"Yes?" Remus says as he walks over to Tonks, "What's wrong? You're usually much more attentive."

Tonks places her arms around his neck, he places his arms around her waist.

"I have some big news to tell you. Excellent news if you ask me."

"What is it?"

The clock chimes three times and they look at the clock.

"Its time to go hon,' Remus says.

"Right," she says as she shake her head and focuses on the task at hand.

* * *

><p>As they arrived they saw that everyone else, besides maybe one or two people, had already shown up. It was already getting cramped in the muggle kitchen and about half the party had to move into the living room.<p>

_"Damn it. I must be getting old, Why else would Harry look at me like that? Then again who can control aging? This was only inevitable,"_ Remus thinks.

Tonks sat on the washing machine and showed Harry her ring. Remus looked at his ring feeling guilty but didn't know the reason why.

"Harry, guess what?"

"You got married?"

"I'm sorry you couldn't be there, Harry, it was very quiet."

"That's brilliant congrat―"

"Alright, alright. We'll have time for cozy catch-up later," Mad Eye said.

_ "Thank God," _Remus thinks, _"Something's going to happen later. Why else am I feeling guilty?"_

He grabs hold of her hand and for a second every nervous thought seems to calm down a little.

_ "The point of tonight is to keep Harry safe when we move him. Can't get distracted and lose my focus,"_ he thinks again.

Mad Eye starts to go more into the plan that has been repeated so many times before. Soon its time for those who volunteered to drink the Polyjuice Potion.

"I'm taking Fleur on thestral," Bill said, "She's not that fond of brooms."

"Miss. Granger with Kingsley, again by thestral―"

Remus lets go of her hand when she begins to speak.

"Which leaves you and me Ron!"

"Hopefully she's going to be fine," Remus says to himself, "The look of Ron's face is just enough to make anyone worry."

Everyone makes their way outside and begin to get ready to take off. The night looks threatening and in more ways than the obvious.

"All right then," said Moody, "Everyone ready, please; I want us all to leave at exactly the same time or the whole point of the diversion's lost."

"Hold tight now, Ron," said Tonks.

What Remus wanted to say when Ron apprehensively places his hands on Tonks waist was, "Don't you dare try anything funny or I'll kill you!" However Remus kept his composure and mounted the broom with George.

* * *

><p>And so they all take off and like Mad Eye suspected Death Eaters were surrounding them immediately. The point was to get Harry to safety and everyone it seemed, did their part. Everything was not going according to plan and later that night it would take on a new meaning for Remus and Tonks.<p>

As Death Eaters surrounded Remus and George they did all they could to keep them at bay. Both sides used the darkening night to their advantage.

"George, distract them for a moment!" Remus ordered, "And hold on tight!"

George held onto the broom with his free hand as tight as he can and the colorful lights from his wand joined the rest of them. Red, blue, some purplish color went flying at the Death Eaters on their tail. However some of the Death Eaters quickly dodge George's aims. With another point of his wand George struck one right in the face taking the mask off of him. The Death Eater was Barty Crouch Jr. and George's blow sent Crouch falling down to the ground.

"Good one."

"Thanks."

"Anyone still following us?"

"Yeah one more behind us."

Remus dived down down down to where he was about ten or so feet under the rest. He asks George if they're still being followed he tells Remus yes.

"I can think of a few people who would still want us."

"Who?"

Pettigrew, Malfoy, and Snape," Remus answered.

"Which do you think it is?"

"There's only one way to find out,"and Remus slightly turns his torso to fire a spell at their pursuer.

The spell did what Remus intended; it turned Pettigrew back into his rat form. The Rat and the broom quickly fell to the twinkling London ground.

Now it was George's turn to compliment Remus, he thanked him, and they soared higher up to rejoin the others. He asks George if he sees anyone else and before George can say that he does a familiar spell strikes George straight in his ear.

Blood was pouring out of George fast and it took all Remus could do to keep him on but finally placing them both in an awkward position, they carried on.

* * *

><p>"Rodolphus! Now! Now! Leave the mudblood and blood traitor to me!" Bellatrix screeched.<p>

Ron dug his fingers tighter and tighter into Tonks waist as she flew as fast as she can

"Its Bellatrix!"

"Very observant blood traitor now watch me as you're about to leave this world!"

Tonks kept going and fired curses at her mental aunt.

"Ron! You take care of Rodolphus! Got it?" Tonks said urgently.

"Right."

Bellatrix cackled and began to mock Ron.

"Does the youngest Weasley twaitor think he can beat him? Or are you just too stupid to even attempt such an act?"

"Now Ron!" Tonks ordered, "Don't you dare hesitate!"

"Yes mudblood niece, tell him what to do."

Ron gets his courage and says:

"Obliviate!" and Rodolphus quickly forgets, "Stupify!"

Bellatrix does turn and save her falling husband but instead turns on Tonks. She speeds up so that she is side by side Tonks.

"How about I do my sister and myself the honor by getting rid of you filthy blooded mistake?"

Tonks puts a protective charm around herself and wand mentally. Bellatrix calls out a curse and a red light comes out of her wand. Ron shudders as the curse bounces off them and heads back to Bellatrix. She is able though to dodge it but falls behind them. Tonks makes zig zagging turns, sharp dives down and even sharper ascensions upwards and once she gets to a perfect distance from Bellatrix Tonks aims her wand at her.

"Down Ron!" Ron does as he's told and Tonks yells, "Crucio!"

Although Bellatrix was able to dodge the curse it did set her back and sent her diving down from the sky.

Tonks lets down the charm finally and Ron has an excited relieved look on his face.

"That was bloody brilliant Tonks!"

"Thanks. Now to join the rest of the ranks."

* * *

><p>After Remus had roughed up Harry, questioned, and criticized him for his tactics. Kingsley and Herminone showed up and they all went back to the wounded George. As everyone crowded around him Remus leaned against a wall and finally let his thoughts of Tonks runaway with him for a moment.<p>

_"What's happened? What's taken so long? There's something she was going to tell me, what is it?"_

Finally his questions were answered since Herminone had said, "It's them!"

Ron and Tonks had a skidded landing and stumbled off. Tonks ran into Remus' arms.

"What the hell happened?" he thought.

Ron comforted Herminone as Tonks tell Remus what he did.

"Ron was great. Wonderful. Stunned one of the Death Eaters, straight to the head, and when you're aiming at a moving target from a flying broom―"

Ron and Herminone continued talking, Ginny went back inside, and Remus was now able to ask Tonks what kept them.

"So what kept you? What happened?"

"Bellatrix. She wants me quite as much as she wants Harry, Remus, she tried very hard to kill me. I just wish I got her, I owe Bellatrix. But we definitely injured Rodolphus... Then we got back to Ron's Auntie Muriel's and we missed our Portkey and she fussed over us―"

_"That doesn't help calm my fears that you could have been killed. Taken from me,"_ he thought."

Tonks asked what happened to everyone else but that wouldn't be the worst of it. When the last of them came back they find out Mad Eye was dead, and killed by the most evil man in wizarding history, Voldemort. They all toasted to Mad Eye. Remus had to get all these conflicting thoughts under control so he decided to talk to Harry then.

"You think I'm a fool?"

"No, I think you're like James, who would've considered as a height of dishonor to mistrust his friends."

_"Damn it. I can't do this. I have to find out," _Remus thought as he turned away from Harry.

Bill said that they had to find Mad Eye's body Remus saw this as his chance. He wanted to avoid Tonks right now yet at the same time desperately wanted to know what was going on. They said goodbye and left.

* * *

><p>Midnight was when Remus had returned home and it was all he could do from collapsing on the floor. He walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water. In the sink's reflection he sees himself bloodied, dirtied, jaded, worried, and significantly aged.<p>

"It looks like Tonks isn't back yet," he said as he set the now empty glass down and walks to the bathroom to take a shower.

The shower doesn't do him a bit of good. He may have been cleaner but inside he felt unclean. Nothing felt right and that unknown guilt feeling was getting stronger and stronger which caused him to feel weaker and weaker. Remus walked to the bedroom and laid on the bed waiting for the inevitable event to come and destroy what he held the most dear. Finally, he heard the squeaking of the door.

"Remus. Remus," Tonks whispers, "Are you awake?"

"Yes."

She sits down on the bed and for a moment stares off into space.

"What is it?" Remus asks, "What's wrong? Tell me?"

Tonks appearance begins to dim. She looks him in the eye with tired contemplative eyes and takes breaths in and out.

"I'm pregnant."

And so began the downward descent Remus was now on.

_ "That's it. That's the fear that has been waiting to suffocate me."_


	17. Chapter 17:Bill & Fluer's Wedding

** Chapter 17: Bill & Fluer's Wedding**

"You can't look me in the eye Remus," Tonks numbly says, "What you don't believe me? You don't want it?

"That's not it."

"Than what is it?"

"Nothing."

Tonks decides to drop the subject and switches to a new one.

"Are you going to the wedding tomorrow?"

"Yes." he answers, "Why shouldn't I?"

"I just thought that you wouldn't want to be seen with me."

"I thought we were through with that for now," Remus says as he gets up and storms over to the drawers.

Tonks stays sitting on the bed's edge and tries to get her thoughts in order. She grinds her teeth a little and later gets up and goes back to the bathroom and decides to take a bath.

* * *

><p>Tonks sinks lower and lower into the cool bath water and stares up the ceiling. She listens to the water go in and out of her ears. She lets the clear water envelope her and tries to forget the argument she had with Remus. She changes her hair color to a calming blue color. As she emerges from the water all of her thoughts come flooding back to her mind.<p>

_"Why doesn't he care about this?"_

_ "What did you expect Remus to be happy?"_

_ "God. Why won't these thoughts leave me alone?"_

Tears begin to fall down her face and the teardrops make small splashes in the water. Tonks sinks down back into the water and she lets one of her all the old memories take over her mind.

* * *

><p><em>"Too dangerous…Too old…Not well off…Too poor. Not good enough."<em>

_Tonks can't will her feelings away, they won't disappear._

_"Damn it! Why did I tell him to burn in hell," Tonks sobs._

_She wipes the tears away and tries to think of something else. To do so she began to practice the magic she used to be able to do flawlessly._

_"Lumos."_

_Nothing._

_"Lumos," she says a little louder._

_Still nothing._

_"Lumos!"_

_Again nothing happens._

_Tonks gives up on Lumos and tries another spell. She gets out of bed and kneels in front of her old Hogwarts trunk and tries to open it magically._

_"Alohomora."_

_It won't open._

_"Alohomora," she says again._

_It still won't open like she wants it to._

_"Alohomora!"_

_Nothing and her frustration increases. She bangs her head on the trunk lid and when she stops she rests her head on it. Her hair becomes a curtain in front of her face. Her tears return and feel hot as they run down her cheeks. She doesn't try to stop them from falling and her breaths come in uneven sobs._

_"One last spell," she gasps, "One last one."_

_Tonks wipes a few tears with the back of her hand and slowly stands up. She points her wand at her wall and says:_

_"Expecto Patronum!"_

When she sees the wolf patronus and the result Tonks remembers the thought that entered her head after the patronus went away and she was lying on the floor.

"_Damn it. Why do I let him do this to me. Why," she sobs, "Please God, please let this suffering go away."_

* * *

><p>The next day Remus and Tonks go to the wedding. Tonks hides everything away for now and lets her bubbly self come out and control the scene. Remus, though he looked very nice, couldn't shake the storm cloud hovering over his head.<p>

"Arthur told us you were the one with the curly hair. Sorry about last night. The Ministry's being very anti-werewolf at the moment and we thought our presence might not do you any favors."

Remus listened to Tonks tell Harry this and he saw Harry's eyes bore into his with worry and wonder. He's grateful for the fact that they quickly part for the moment. The two take their seats in the back to watch the wedding and later take their table towards the back after the service was over and the food was being served.

_"Harry knows. Then again he is like James. James knew me too well. He knew when something was troubling me."_

The food and drinks were served but it did little to satisfy him. He looks at Tonks and sees her staring at the horizon. Her blonde hair moves in the slight breeze. Remus swallows up his feeling for a moment and stands up. He stretches out his hand to her and Tonks looks at it for awhile before taking it.

"Care to dance?"

"Sure Remus."

So they waltz and mingled into the rest of the dancing crowd. They could have rivaled the newly married couple Fluer and Bill. The beautiful sky matches the mood of the two of them.

"This should have been the wedding you should have had," Remus whispers to her.

"I had all I wanted and needed," Tonks tells him, "You."

"Still, you should have had something like this."

"I know you honey. I know when you're about to go into your self pity and hatred. I'm telling you not to do so for today. I've told you that you are good enough and you still don't believe that you are. So here's a question. Will this help you decide?"

"What?"

"Stop and follow me over there. Over there to the shadows," she tells him.

And so they go to the darkest shadow in the garden. The closest person was a good ten yards away. Tonks grabs Remus' hand and places it on her flat stomach.

"You and me. Understand Remus?" Tonks tells him, "Someone who is good like you."

Remus still looks numb. Tonks gives him a peck on the cheek and they go and head back to the rest of the wedding crowd. As they make their way to the center something seems wrong. It wasn't long when the patronus appeared and said that the Ministry has fallen.

Remus finds Harry, Ron, and Herminone and orders them to go, to leave now. He returns to Tonks and they continue fighting off as many intruders as they can. It was the first time his mind has been clear since he has heard the news of the baby's arrival.


	18. Chapter 18:Mistakes

**Chapter 18: Mistakes**

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Tonks exclaims, "What, you're all heroic when you and everyone else is being attacked, but when it comes to this you're a damn coward!"

"I am not a coward!"

"Then look me in the eye Remus," she says as he begins to turn away from her, "Instead of walking away from me! You can't avoid this!"

Remus walks over the the kitchen and paces back and and forth once more like he has been doing nonstop since they came back from the wedding. Everything has gone to hell so quickly. He can't stop pulling out his hair and almost every ounce of sanity had been drained from his very being. His thoughts argue again with no chance of letting him rest.

_ "I'm not a coward. I am not. I am not."_

_ "How can you say that you're not? Look at you trying to justify your actions with the thoughts you know are wrong."_

_ "But if it is for her own good then its worth it."_

_ "For who's own good? Are you sure you don't mean your own?"_

_ "Damn it! Why do you keep torturing me?"_

_ "Because I'm you. I am your face. You can't hide anything from me. You can't hide for long."_

Tonks follows him into the kitchen. She notices that he looks like he's had the breath knocked out of him. His breaths are heavy and his palms bleed from gripping the counter's edge too hard. She calls his name and as he turns around she sees that Remus's eyes are bloodshot with several bags and circles around them.

"I know you're not okay but what's so wrong about this child? Your child?" Tonks asks.

He continues to try and breathe. He lets go of the counter and looks at his bloody hands. Reluctantly he looks Tonks in the eyes and then watches the drops of blood drip to the floor.

"Why," she asks asks again.

"What if its a werewolf? It'll be looked down on society," he says.

"And it it is we'll love it just the same."

She takes a few steps toward him and he backs away to the corner even more.

"And if its not it'll just be ashamed of its father that is a werewolf, " Remus says.

"How the hell do you know what the child will think of you?" Tonks argues, "How can you know if it has any kind of ill-will towards you?"

"I don't. I just know it'll hate me just the same," he says in a miserable tone as he turns away.

Remus slumps down onto the floor and Tonks sits next to him.

"What child would love a bastard for a father?"

"That's not true!" she tells him.

"If it turns out like a metemagus it will still be ashamed of me. Curse the day it even found out I am its father."

"Where are you getting all of these thoughts Remus? Tell me. Ever since we met you've always been like this. Too old, poor, dangerous, that you were never good enough. Why can't you let someone in on why?"

"Because I know what I am. It would have been better if―if―"

"If what? Are you going to say that you wished we never got married, started dating, or even met? What the hell is going is going on with you lately? You're worse than before," Tonks demands as she stands back up.

Remus does same and tries to calm her down.

"Nothing. Nothing Nymphadora."

"You're lying Remus. Tell me the truth."

He walks over to the counter and makes some coffee for leaves the room and heads to the small living room. She lies down on the sofa and tries to calm herself down and tries to not think of the argument.

_"I know him. Remus is planning something. What? Oh well I knew he could have taken the news like this." _Tonks thinks to herself, _"Maybe we can get through this..."_

* * *

><p>Her mind drifts to the wedding earlier, back before all hell broke loose. Remus had led Tonks onto the dance floor an they began swaying to the music.<p>

_"This should have been the wedding you should have had."_

_ "I had all I wanted and needed," Tonks tells him, "You."_

_ "Still, you should have had something like this."_

* * *

><p>Back in the kitchen Remus doesn't know what to do and all of his thoughts begin to argue with himself again.<p>

_"I have to do this. I have to leave."_

_ "Like hell you are."_

_ "Tonks and the child will be better off without me."_

_ "You are not going to break her heart once more. What would Sirius say? I fact he probably wouldn't say anything. Sirius would most likely end up beating the crap out of you."_

_ "I know but the child will be happier if I am not in its life. Nymphadora will heal and move on. She deserves someone much better than me."_

_ "That's not true."_

So Remus writes a note and leaves it on the counter. It reads:

Tonks, I love you. Please forgive me

for doing this, although I have a feeling

you won't. You'll be safer without me around.

You and our child will both be. I'm sorry.

-Remus Lupin

He stares at it and begins to shake he asks himself the same question over and over again, "Am I really going to go through with this? Am I really going to go through with this?" Remus goes into the living room and sees Tonks lying on the sofa apparently asleep, he leans in a kisses her forehead.

"I... I can't do this. What kind of man would I be if I..."

Tonks wakes up.

"Remus?"

"Yes."

Remus kisses her but it can't fix what's going to happen later. She asks Remus to help her up.

"How about I get us something to drink," Tonks offers as she goes into the kitchen.

Remus gets panicked and tries to block her way.

"What's the matter Remus?"

"Nothing. Nothing," he stammers.

"Then let me through," she laughs.

Remus then dips Tonks and gives her a passionate kiss. Tonks tells him to hold that thought when they stop kissing and she goes into to the kitchen.

* * *

><p>Time went by slowly as Remus waited for Tonks to come out. In the end he gathers up his strength and goes into the kitchen. He sees Tonks leaned over the counter with the note in her hands.<p>

He hesitates.

"Tonks. Tonks. I am so sorry."

Tonks quickly turns around to face him, there's fire in her eyes.

"Sorry for what? For this?" Tonks yells, "You're leaving?"

"No. No I'm not," Remus says.

"Then why would you write this?"

Tonks shows him the note that he wrote. Remus tries to walk closer to Tonks, she walks away.

"I was confused. I didn't know what to do."

"So instead of facing this and telling me like a man, you wanted to take the easy way out and run!"

"That's not the case anymore Nymphadora!"

"Then what is is then? If you don't feel the same way then why don't you leave?"

"So are you saying you'd be happy with me gone?" Remus shouts.

"If you're not happy here then go!" Tonks shouts back.

Remus takes the hint.

"Fine! I'll go," he says as he turns around, "Goodbye Nymphadora."

Remus then runs outside and runs as fast as he can away from her and does his best to forget everything, especially her last words.

"Burn in hell Remus and don't come back!"


	19. Chapter 19:Remus & Harry

**Chapter 19: Remus & Harry**

"So it's you whom I have to convince; you are of my kind. Did you suppose I meant to go? No, I couldn't leave you here, gloating over my defeat, with all those thoughts about me running in your head."~ Garcin, No Exit Jean-Paul Sartre

* * *

><p>Remus grows increasingly nervous as he gets closer and closer to the old home of his friend. He was confident that Harry, Ron, and Hermione were there.<p>

_"But will they accept my offer? At the very least I can tell them what has happened and find out what has been going on with them so far,"_ he thinks to himself.

As he Apperates to the step and is let inside he immediately hears the question, 'who's there?' Remus tells them who he is but one voice doesn't let up. It was Harry.

"I am Remus John Lupin, werewolf, sometimes known as Moony, one of the four creators of the Marauder's Map, married to Nymphadora, usually known as Tonks, and I taught you how to produce a Patronus, Harry, which takes the form of a stag."

"Oh, all right, but I had to check, didn't I?"

"Speaking as your ex-Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, I quite agree that you had to check. Ron, Hermione, you shouldn't be quite so quick to lower your defenses."

"No sign of Severus then?" he asked.

"No," said Harry, "What's going on? Is everyone okay?"

"Yes," said Lupin, "but we're all being watched. There are a couple of Death Eaters in the square outside—"

"We know—"

"I had to Apparate very precisely onto the top step outside the front door to be sure that they would not see me. They can't know you're in here or I'm sure they'd have more people out there; they're staking out everywhere that's got any connection with you, Harry. Let's go downstairs, there's a lot to tell you, and I want to know what's happened after you left the Burrow."

"I'd have been here three days ago but I needed to shake off the Death Eater tailing me," said Lupin. "So, you came straight here after the wedding?"

"No," said Harry, "only after we ran into a couple of Death Eaters in a cafe on Tottenham Court Road."

"What?"

As the butter beer spilled onto Remus he remembers something that brings back terrible guilt.

* * *

><p><em>Remus is getting nervous again but takes this chance to show Tonks he cares. After a few awkward glances at each other Remus decides to take another sip from his drink. His hand shakes rapidly.<em>

_"Don't make a damn fool of yourself. Don't, don't don―"_

_Splash! Remus ends up spilling his butter beer all over his lap. Both of them gasps but with Tonks it turns into a small giggle._

_"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," Tonks says trying to suppress her laughter, "Here, let me get you some napkins."_

_As she gathered up the napkins she splits half with herself and Remus. They managed to at least get pat of his pants dry. Then Tonks and Remus threw the used crinkled napkins on the table. Tonks lets out a another giggle and this time Remus had to join in. All their laughter brought tears to their eyes._

_"Maybe Remus has changed. Maybe. Now I should ask him the question," Tonks thinks to herself._

_"Remus?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Even though they're just part of a kids story, answer this question."_

_"Alright."_

_"Out of all three brothers in the Hallows story: the brother with the wand, the middle one with the stone, and the youngest with the cape; which one do you think would win in a duel?"_

* * *

><p>Remus shakes this out of his head and rejoins the present.<p>

"But how did they find you so quickly? It's impossible to track anyone who Apparates, unless you grab hold of them as they disappear."

"And it doesn't seem likely they were just strolling down Tottenham Court Road at the time, does it?" said Harry.

"We wondered," said Hermione tentatively, "whether Harry could still have the Trace on him?"

"Impossible," said Lupin.

"Apart from anything else, they'd know for sure Harry was here if he still had the Trace on him, wouldn't they? But I can't see how they could have tracked you to Tottenham Court Road, that's worrying, really worrying."

"Tell us what happened after we left, we haven't heard a thing since Ron's dad told us the family were safe."

"Well, Kingsley saved us," said Lupin. "Thanks to his warning most of the wedding guests were able to Disapparate before they arrived."

"Were they Death Eaters or Ministry people?" interjected Hermione.

Remus tells them everything. Harry, Ron, and Hermione's reactions were that of horror, especially when he got to the part about Hogwarts.

_"I guess I might as well ask them now,"_ Remus thinks, _"Its now or never."_

"I'll understand if you can't confirm this, Harry, but the Order is under the impression that Dumbledore left you a mission."

"He did," Harry replied, "and Ron and Hermione are in on it and they're coming with me."

"Can you confide in me what the mission is?"

"I can't, Remus, I'm sorry. If Dumbledore didn't tell you I don't think I can."

"I thought you'd say that," said Lupin, looking disappointed. "But I ought still be of some use to you. You know what I am and what I can do. I could come with you to provide protection. There would be no need to tell me exactly what you were up to."

"But what about Tonks?"

"What about her?" said Lupin.

"Well," said Hermione, frowning, "you're married: How does she feel about you going away with us?"

"Tonks will be perfectly safe." said Lupin. "She'll be at her parents' house."

"Remus," said Hermione tentatively, "is everything all right . . . you know. . . between you and—"

"Everything is fine, thank you," said Lupin pointedly.

Remus could feel their eyes on him and he begins to break.

"Tonks is going to have a baby."

"Oh, how wonderful!" squealed Hermione.

"Excellent!" said Ron enthusiastically.

"Congratulations," said Harry.

"Don't you understand what I've done to my wife and my unborn child? I should never have married her, I've made her an outcast!"

"You have only seen me amongst the Order, or under Dumbledore's protection at Hogwarts! You don't know how most of the Wizarding world sees creatures like me! When they know of my affliction, they can barely talk to me! Don't you see what I've done? Even her own family is disgusted by our marriage, what parents want their only daughter to marry a werewolf? And the child—the child—"

"My kind don't usually breed! It will be like me, I am convinced of it—how can I forgive myself when I knowingly risked passing on my own condition to an innocent child? And if, by some miracle, it is not like me, then it will be better off, a hundred times so, without a father of whom it must always be ashamed!"

"Remus! Don't say that—how could any child be ashamed of you?"

Remus can hardly believe his ears when he hears Harry's cruel remark. Doesn't he understand his pain and no matter what Herminone says that the child wouldn't be ashamed of him; he knows differently.

"How—how dare you?" said Lupin. "This is not about a desire for—for danger of personal glory—how dare you suggest such a—"

"I think you're feeling a bit of a daredevil." Harry said, "You fancy stepping into Sirius's shoe—"

Remus could barely hear Herminone's pleas against Harry's words. All he could do was focus on how each word coming from his old pupil felt like icy daggers cutting through his shin and into his very core.

"I'd never have believed this," Harry said. "The man who taught me to fight dementors—a coward."

Remus breathes heavily, his anger bubbles and he points his wand at Harry. Harry scrambles to do the same. Ron and Herminone look torn between sides and don't want to be in the crossfire.

_"No. no. I can't do this. James would kill if he knew I did any kind of harm to his only son," _Remus thinks.

And then Remus storms away and leaves the now horrible home.


	20. Chapter 20:Running

**Chapter 20: Running**

"Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I found myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell." ~Edna St Vincent Millay

* * *

><p>Remus was crushed that Harry wouldn't accept him on his apparent mission. He could see that his friends Ron and Hermione would have given this some more thought. He couldn't take another rejection, another betrayal. How could he expect a kid to understand how he felt, the reality Remus faced constantly. Harry's words, Remus' own words, and so much more was echoing in Remus' mind.<p>

_"I'd never have believed this," Harry said. "The man who taught me to fight dementors—a coward."_

Remus had to run. He had to runaway from the thoughts, from the lie he tried to convince himself of. Deep inside though he knew he couldn't run from this but the childish thoughts, that his recent decisions were all for the best, would disappear. For now he just ran and ran and ran and soon he found himself running into the forest. He just didn't know, didn't realize that he was in the forest where the Quidditch Tournament was held all those years ago. Soon Remus had to stop and so he stopped at one of the biggest oak trees in the forest.

The tree was so tall it almost reached the heavens. It was so wide no one could get a tight enough grip to be able to climb it. Black substances and dark green moss covered the bark. This tree had no leaves, its branches permanently dead but none will fall. This tree could be the twin of the Devil's Tree heard in legends.

It didn't take long for Remus to fall asleep and in the end he would not like the sleep he would be thrown into.

* * *

><p>Its cold and the rapidly falling snowflakes was beginning to turn into a blizzard. The blindingly, brilliant white, snow fell on everything outside. Remus, a seventh year, was staring out at it from one of the castle's windows. Remus was by himself today and he was trying to make the best of this lonesomeness for today, however, that was proving to be very, very difficult.<p>

James was in the infirmary with almost every bone in his body broken. He had done so in a particularly brutal Quidditch match against Slytherin. Sirius had detention for a month because of the actions he had decided to take after the match. Sirius decided to graffiti the Slytherin common room wall to get payback on the cheating team. Peter had been an accomplice to Sirius by being the lookout yet somehow Peter never got in trouble for it. Remus suspected that Peter had transformed into his rat animagus to avoid punishment. Remus at the time of the crime had been in bed recovering from a really nasty flu and had not been part of any of the events that had happened, so as a result he was all alone today and for who knows how long.

Hardly any of the teachers said hello or even asked what was wrong. Students never came up to him either for the most part so Remus just continued staring out the window.

"If I go outside maybe someone will care and come outside with me," he debated, "Then again, I don't want to get sick and maybe die because of the cold."

And he continued debating this until he got a surprise from someone from behind. He felt a tap on his right shoulder and with a gasp he turned around. It was a girl and she couldn't help giggling at Remus' response. After a bit of stammering, Remus could finally speak coherently.

"Hello," he said, "Y―you, you're the new member of the Quidditch team are you, for Hugglepuff. The one with the weird changing hair, right?"

"You could say that," she giggles, "Or you could call me by my name. I'm Nymphadora Tonks, but I mainly go by Tonks. Then again, to certain Griffindors I'm also know as Sirius Black's cousin."

Remus coughs and again Tonks giggles at this.

"Aren't you going to introduce yourself, Remus?"

"How do you―"

"Let's just say you and your friends are famous in the castle and its not surprising since you would be by now."

"What do you want?" Remus asks her.

"I wanted to see how you were doing. You looked so lonely here, just blankly staring out the window. How about you take a walk with me around the castle. I don't have a class now and it doesn't seem like you have one now either."

Remus decides to take a walk with Tonks and as a result he sees her hair turn a bright sea blue-green color as well as seeing her eyes grow brighter and brighter with happiness. So they walk and walk throughout the castle halls and continue through them until it grew dark from the night.

"Where are we heading," Remus asks her

"You'll see," was all she said.

They turned corner after corner until they found their way in an incredibly dark hall. No candles were lit, nothing hung on the walls here, and this place screamed uncertainty. Tonks took her wand out from her robes and whispers, "Lumos." Remus does the same and watches her walk forward and tap on the wall like door.

As they go inside the walk through the aisles of shelves and odd objects towards the very back. Finally they stop at the weird mirror, a mirror that looked like it held another world other than their own. Remus and Tonks stared into the mirror for awhile before Remus got the courage to say anything.

"Why did we come here?"

Tonks didn't know how to tell him but she knew she had to.

"How do you know that I've been through the deepest parts of the school?"

"Maybe its because I've had a crush on you for awhile Remus."

Remus thinks this over for a little while.

_"What do I say to this? Why would any girl like me, the weirdest one amongst the odd group of Hogwarts? Nymphadora is Sirius' cousin, what would he say? How do I let her down?" _Remus pondered these thoughts and as the minutes passed Tonks' facial expression grew sadder and sadder.

"Forget it. I knew an amazing seventh year wouldn't be interested in a lowly fifth year like me," she said, "You can go. I'm sorry I brought you here."

"No, no. Its not that, its just―just―"

"Just what?"

"I―I like―I mean I am―"

_"Maybe I should act like Sirius and James for once. Just show what I'm feeling,"_ he thought to himself.

And so he does and he leans in and gives Tonks a quick peck on the lips. As he takes a step back he sees Tonks blush a bright reddish-pink color and sees her hair do the same. Tonks then kisses him back and―

* * *

><p>―Remus wakes up and finds himself back to his adult self and slouched against the oak tree. The sky is now back to its beautiful sunrise colors and Remus begins to come to a revelation.<p>

"Harry was right! I am a total coward, a complete ass! I have to get back to Nymphadora. Please god, please let her take me back. I want her! Please let me get what I want this time. Just for once. Please!"

And so Remus takes off in an unbelievably fast run and hopes that he gets his wish for once.

* * *

><p>In her old room at her parent's home Tonks stays in bed waiting for this angst and sorrowful depression to pass. It feels like it won't and Tonks is forever haunted by memories and dreams of Remus. Her mother Andromeda tries for the umpteenth time coax her only daughter out of the room.<p>

"Nymphadora. Nymphadora please come out. This can't be good for you to stay pent up in your bedroom. And this definitely cannot be good for the child growing inside you. What would your father say?"

Tonks was too lazy to come and open the door, she didn't want to anyway. She just cast her patronus to speak with her mother.

"For one, dad would have killed Remus for leaving me, especially with me being pregnant. Secondly I am not coming out! If anything could make this better it would be to go to work but I can't! I have to stay here on maternity leave! And don't call me Nymphadora!"

Andromeda just sighs and walks away, again giving her daughter more time to cool down. When Tonks hear her mother's footsteps walk away Tonks can't help but remember the last time she was this miserable and the memory completely takes her over this time.

* * *

><p>"Remus … Remus … Remus," she repeated.<p>

Her sleep didn't last long though and as she lay awake all the words he said to her came flooding back.

"Too dangerous…Too old…Not well off…Too poor. Not good enough."

Tonks can't will her feelings away, they won't disappear.

"Damn it! Why did I tell him to burn in hell," Tonks sobs.

She wipes the tears away and tries to think of something else. To do so she began to practice the magic she used to be able to do flawlessly.

"Lumos."

Nothing.

"Lumos," she says a little louder.

Still nothing.

"Lumos!"

Again nothing happens.

Tonks gives up on Lumos and tries another spell. She gets out of bed and kneels in front of her old Hogwarts trunk and tries to open it magically.

"Alohomora."

It won't open.

"Alohomora," she says again.

It still won't open like she wants it to.

"Alohomora!"

Nothing and her frustration increases. She bangs her head on the trunk lid and when she stops she rests her head on it. Her hair becomes a curtain in front of her face. Her tears return and feel hot as they run down her cheeks. She doesn't try to stop them from falling and her breaths come in uneven sobs.

"One last spell," she gasps, "One last one."

Tonks wipes a few tears with the back of her hand and slowly stands up. She points her wand at her wall and says:

"Expecto Patronum!"

* * *

><p>Even though Tonks wasn't asleep when this memory ran through her mind she screamed like she was waking from a horrible nightmare. Her mother comes rushing to her bedroom door and begins banging on it. She demands her daughter let her in, each time Tonks refuses to do so.<p>

A new pain interrupts Tonks though, the baby begins kicking inside her as if it wants nothing more than to break every single rib inside her.

"Nymphadora! Open the damn door now!" Andromeda shouts, "Open it!"

"No!"

"NYMPHADORA!"

"God just leave me alone! This pain is better than any other damn emotion I'm feeling!"

"You're acting like a teenager!"

Tonks won't budge though and her mother storms away again. Tonks continues to scream in pain every few minutes and considers this better than the emotion pain she' s going through.

* * *

><p>Hours and hours could not slow down Remus. He just keeps running and running hoping he's not to late. Part of him feels like he can feel her in pain as if he's sensing her telepathically. Suddenly though he hears running footsteps on his tail.<p>

Remus turns around and sees its Dolohov one of the strongest Death Eaters following him.

"Come back here you damned werewolf!" Dolohov shouts after Remus, "Greyback wants you!"

Remus sends spell after spell at him. Stunning spells, practically unbeatable nonverbal spells. Every spell imaginable Remus aims at Dolohov. Most of them Dolohov can't dodge and as Remus begins to get closer and closer to leaving the forest Dolohov gets more determined to get Remus. With on last spell Dolohov manages to hit Remus with it causing his lower half of his left leg to bleed uncontrollably. Remus sends out a spell of his own, finally stunning his chaser.

"Burn in hell," was the only thing Remus said to Dolohov before he Apperated away to the place he most wanted to be.

Remus landed on the property with a thud but all of that might as well have been muted with all the screaming. First he grabs a few cool small stones and takes steps closer to Tonks' window. Remus begins throwing the stones at it, the stones make clattering sounds as they hit the glass but he get no response from her.

"If I can't get her to come to me this way I might as well go for the direct approach. I might as well knock on the door. Maybe her mother won't slam the door in my face," Remus says.

He walks up to the front door and just has he's about to knock on the door he begins to hesitate and the memory of his and Tonks second official date comes to mind.

* * *

><p><em>"Are you sure you want to end the date Remus," Tonks asks.<em>

_"No," he replies,"But I have a question of my own for you if that's alright."_

_"Go ahead," Tonks smiled._

_ "What will Remus' question be?"_

_"Nymphadora Tonks," Am I good enough for you?"_

_Tonks can't help but smile and shake her head, in awe and almost disbelief. For a moment Remus thought her response would be bad until she said:_

_"I can't believe it's taken you this long to see this Remus," Tonks tells him, "Yes Remus Lupin, you are good enough for me. Am I for you?"_

_"You've always been good enough."_

_The two of them then hug and kiss. Remus then walks Tonks over to the door. Unfortunately Tonks ends up tripping on the pathway to the front door. As she fell flat on her face Remus immediately rushes over to her and gently helps her up._

_"Are you okay? Or was that on purpose?" Remus asks._

_"Can't it be both?" Tonks replies._

_Remus chuckles and Tonks had to join in and Tonks' hair almost immediately turns into its usual bright bubblegum pink color. The two of them hold hands and as Remus is about to turn away to leave he sees a shooting star._

_"Did you see the star too?"_

_"Yes," he tells her, "What did you wished for?"_

_Tonks walks up to him and gives him another sparkling smile._

_"Let's just say the same thing you wished for," Tonks says almost seductively and then kisses his cheek, "Goodnight Remus."_

_Then she she goes back to the doorstep and opens the door letting the light out. Before she goes inside though she turns to him one last time for the night and gives him her signature wink. Tonks goes inside and Remus happily walks away._

* * *

><p>Remus can't hesitate, he has to go through with this so he gets the courage and knocks on the door.<p>

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Andromeda comes to the door and a shocked expression is clearly written on her face.

"Can I come in," Remus asks, "I came to apologize to Nymphadora. I'll beg if I have to if you'll just let me see her. Please."

"Right now Nymphadora isn't taking any visitors. I don't think you should come in," she answers.

Remus continues to beg.

"Please. Please."

Shuffled footsteps softly make their way down the hall into the living room. From afar Tonks can see Remus standing in the doorway pleading with her mother. Remus looks her way and sees Tonks. He becomes captivated by her eyes. They looked tired and show a jaded person, her appearance was different as well. Tonks hair was back to its natural brown color, overall she looks as if she's been Petrified.

"Remus," she whispers in a state of shock.

Andromeda turns toward her daughter, its one of the few times she's been out of her room for more than a few minutes.

"Nymphadora," her mother slowly says.

"Mum, go."

"Nympha―"

"Go! Now. Just let me talk to Remus."

Reluctantly Andromeda leaves the room and lets the two of them alone and Remus grows increasingly nervous as he wonders what is going to happen next.


	21. Chapter 21:Forgiveness

**Chapter 21: Forgiveness**

"True remorse is never just a regret over consequence; it is a regret over motive." ~Mignon McLaughlin

Tonks tells Remus to come in and offers him something to drink. He declines it saying he needed to get what he wanted to say off his chest. She tells him to sit down and then mutters a sarcastic remark.

"I know there's no way you could forgive me and no matter what I say would be no excuse for being a complete good for nothing―"

"―Ass," Tonks finishes.

"Exactly. But please, please let me have this chance."

Remus moves over to the sofa where Tonks is sitting, she pushes him away. Remus just kneels in front of her and tries to take her hand. Tonks makes a comment on how this wasn't going to work and that he'd have to really prove he was sincere.

"And I'm willing to do anything to prove that. I'll do anything for you."

Remus kisses her hand, goes up her arm, and gently kisses her lips. Tonks pushes him away again. She moves over to the opposite side of the sofa.

"You can't win me over that easily. Who do you think I wanted with me when I found out dad died? Who do you think I wanted when I was forced to go on maternity leave? You Remus! But you weren't there. Like you ever gave a damn," ranted Tonks.

"And that was my mistake. Please, I love you. The time I spent just running I tried not to think of you, tried to convince myself that I was doing the right thing but I couldn't keep at it, couldn't stop the thoughts from flooding my mind. It took Harry's angry speech towards me and a dream I had, to realize it. To realize I need you and never want to be without you. Please Nymphadora. Please I'm begging you. I'm on my knees. Please."

"I've heard that before. How many times Remus have you _begged_ for my forgiveness?"

Remus continues to beg and beg and Tonks just looks away from his pleading dog-like eyes. He slowly stands up and turns away.

"I can see I can't convince you tonight," he says as he heads towards the door, "But I won't give up. I will promise you that."

Tonks barely listens to his words and can barely register them when she leans over in unbearable pain in her abdomen. Remus gets a worried, scared look in his eyes as he sees Tonks doubled over in pain clutching her stomach in her hands. He rushes back over to her and takes her and lifts her in his arms. All he says as he takes her to her room is, "Are you okay? Are you going to be okay?" All Tonks can do is moan in pain as she's being carried to her room. Even when they get inside and Remus lays her on her bed all she can do is barely turn to face away from him so she just stares into his eyes and he stares into her's.

In half and hour the pain passes. Before Remus leaves and is sure Tonks is fast asleep he kisses her forehead.

"Goodnight Nymphadora. I'll always love you. I won't leave you and I mean it this time," he whispers and then tiptoes out of her bedroom.

Remus goes down the hall and back to the living room where he sees Andromeda sitting in the kitchen. Her hands are clasped together, her fingers intertwined, and her eyes staring penetrating daggers at him. He walks over to her and sits across from her ready to convince Andromeda of his sincerity as well.

"I'm not leaving. I mean it this time," he tells her.

"I trusted you the first time, when you told me and Ted that you and Nymphadora were getting married. You Remus have the nerve of showing up here when you left my daughter pregnant and heartbroken," Andromeda angrily says, "You were lucky I even trusted you after the first time you sent her into a depression and if Ted was still alive you would be dead now."

"I'll never forgive myself for that Andromeda but I need this chance. I'll stay here if I have to. If it proves that I am sincere about this."

"Why did you leave," she asks.

"I thought Nymphadora and the baby would be better off without me. Its no excuse I know that. I see that I was wrong, I see my errors."

"I haven't been this upset, this crushed, since my sisters disowned me for marrying Ted."

"Please accept my apology. I am trying to get your daughter to do so."

This discussion continues for sometime, well into the early morning when Andromeda sees that it is six in the morning now. Andromeda gets up and makes some coffee, tea, waffles, and eggs for breakfast. Once she comes back to the table to wait for the tea and coffee to be done, she taps her fingers rapidly on the wooden table. She hums a peculiar song and stares down Remus once more. Remus swallows nervously as he tries to not let Andromeda's stares bother him.

"Remus, you'll do anything for my daughter? You'll do anything to show that you really are sincere?" Andromeda slowly and decisively states.

"Anything. You have my word," Remus swears.

"Will you be willing to make the Unbreakable Vow?"

"Yes," he says determinedly, bravely, and solemnly.

"Then I will get my daughter. She's probably already awake and staring at the ceiling."

And so Andromeda goes to her daughter's bedroom and wakes her up. She brings the sleepy Tonks into the kitchen and has her face Remus.

"What is this about?" Tonks asks.

"I know Remus is sincere Nymphadora. He has agreed to the Unbreakable Vow. Now, join arms," Andromeda states dramatically.

So Remus and Tonks do as their told because a.) Not daring to defy Andromeda. She was of course Bellatrix Lestrange's sister and at this moment she looked exactly like Bellatrix. And b.) Remus meant what he said, he would do anything for Tonks and would go to any length to prove his sincerity.

Andromeda touches her wand to their joined arms and begins the to say her terms of the Vow.

"Will you, Remus Lupin, vow to never desert Nymphadora," Andromeda gives her daughter a small embrace as she says this. Tonks stares deeply and emotionlessly into Remus' eyes as the vow is going on.

"I will," Remus states very solemnly.

"And, if Nymphadora is in any danger, will you Remus do whatever it takes to protect her?"

"I will."

"And if the unthinkable were to happen, will you Remus sacrifice everything for her?"

"I will," this time Remus says this more solemn and dramatically than before.

Tonks and Remus separate and Andromeda leaves the two of them alone by going outside to admire her heaven of a backyard. Not long the tea kettle screams its loud whistle and Tonks goes and serves them both some tea.

"Its jasmine tea," Tonks says as she sits down at the table, "Have some."

"Thanks honey," Remus says with a smile.

"No pet names yet _love_. You haven't earned that right back. Or the right to be the only one to call me Nymphadora."

"Whatever it takes," he says as he takes a sip from his tea,"How's the baby? How is _our_ baby?"

"Do you actually care?"

"Yes. Truly, I do. That's why I made the Vow. I love you."

It takes a few more weeks for Tonks to believe Remus but it does happen. Soon they're even back to sleeping with each other. Soon months and months pass and with each passing day, week, month Remus gets more excited about their quickly coming child. One night they decided to go on a another date―their third―for a fun, regular night to get their minds off of it for once. For this date they went to the Leaky Cauldron and then they planned to go to Diagon Ally.

As they sat at the counter Tonks said: "Ugh, I can't wait until I can have a real drink. Just two more months."

"You'll make it," Remus says, "By the way I'm also going to be a guest on this new radio broadcast. Its called Potter Watch and―"

Tonks gives him a peck on the cheek.

"As long as I get to listen and you'll careful then I'm all for it."

"You know I'm always careful."

They finish their drinks and meal and headed for Diagon Ally. For awhile they walked around and just did some window shopping and people watching. Finally they stopped and rested on one of the benches. Tonks rests her head on Remus' shoulder and just continued their date in peace. Tonks begins to laugh a little, Remus asks what is so funny.

"You were right. My mum did look like Bellatrix during the Unbreakable Vow. I guess that really does mean that those two, as well as Narcissa are sisters."

Tonks mentions that one time Remus came over to her house, they night when her parents weren't home.

* * *

><p>They end up entangling their fingers in the other's hair. Finally though they pull away and try to catch their breath.<p>

"Do you...constantly have to...test my strength?" Remus pants.

"Do you Remus, have to keep denying your feelings," Tonks told him, "You can't lie about it. I see it in your eyes."

"I'm too―"

"_Don't _say you're too old. And _don't _say you're too dangerous. So far you've proved that you're not either of those things. And don't forget I could say the say the same things to you. Am I too young for you? Am I too rebellious and clumsy for a woman, for an Auror?" Tonks ended sarcastically.

"No," he said slightly stammering, "No you're not."

"Well then what's the difference? We're both different Remus. We both can change our forms damn it. The only difference is that you transform into a werewolf and I don't."

Something might as well snapped inside of his mind. Remus' thoughts at that moment begin to change.

"_If she wants me to prove it then I will...Then again what if something happens? What if..." _however finally Remus ignores his thoughts and now surprises Tonks with a kiss of his own.

Tonks wraps her arm around his neck and Remus tries not to crush her broken leg or even break her other leg. This could have gone on for awhile, for hours and hours and in fact it could have, if not for a pesky clicking sound.

Click. Click

_Squeeak_, went the door as it slowly opened. Then footsteps come along with low whispers and a quiet giggle. Remus and Tonks didn't notice this though, until...

"Oh My God!" Andromeda gasped as she saw her only daughter snogging Remus Lupin.

"What love," Ted asks his wife as he hangs up their coats, "What's going on? Andromeda?"

His wife tugs on his sleeve harder this time and points a shaking finger at their embarrassed daughter and her friend.

Remus clears his throat by coughing repeatedly until Tonks absentmindedly ribs him with her elbow. That causes him to get up and walk over to Andromeda and Ted Tonks. Remus stammers at first, rubs the back of his neck nervously and tries to come up with something to tell them until he decides to just come up and tell them something from the top of his head.

"Well you see Andromeda. Ted. The reason I was kissing your daughter was...was because, because I― I tripped on the rug and fell. And I fell into her arms and we...we" he gives out a nervous laugh and that's when Tonks came up beside him and continue for him.

It probably didn't help that her hair was slightly disheveled but she began and continued talking.

"Mum... dad. Remus tripped and as he said he fell into my arms as I was helping him up," Tonks improvised, "And as I was helping him up I slipped and lost my balance as well. You know how I am. I ended up on...on top of him and―and we ended up..."

"...Ended up kissing like a couple of teenagers in school!" Andromeda angrily interrupted, "How can you Nymphadora, you know better! Tell her Ted!"

Ted just stays indifferent and makes some weird head motion.

"I think I should go," Remus says quietly, addressing this to Tonks than to her parents.

"I'll see you to the door," Tonks says as she holds onto his arm realizing that she had forgotten her crutches at the sofa.

Ted and Andromeda just stare at them. Her mother stares daggers at them with disapproval, her father just doesn't say anything and bows to the whim of his wife.

As Remus and Tonks go outside and shut the door behind them Tonks gives him one last thing. Like the beginning of the night she surprises him with another kiss.

"We shouldn't have done that Tonks," Remus said in a hushed hurried whisper.

Tonks leans in and whispers in his ear as well and says, "I just wanted to give you a little parting gift until we meet again." Then she gives him another kiss and Remus gets into it once more.

* * *

><p>This time Remus laughs as well at the funny memory but soon they had to leave and they Disapperated away and to home. At first they just stay on the front steps and Tonks wraps her arms around Remus; he does the same and Tonks kisses him. And so ends a perfect date with a perfect ending.<p> 


	22. Chapter 22:Teddy

**Chapter 22: Teddy**

* * *

><p>I am almost done with this story, only two chapters after this. I'm sad that its almost over but all stories must come to an end. I want to thank a few people for staying with this story and commenting.<p>

**Reannederful :Wow that was really angsty... I love it! I can't wait for more**

**Lunarox67 :Please please please right more! Your such a fantastic writer!**

**xXxWolvesInTheNightxXx :Cute chapter!**

**invader13panda :Wow. I am at a loss, that my friend has just made me a shipper :D you are amazing. I can't wait for another chapter**

I hope you continue to comment and even check out my other stories.

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><p>Finally those two months left pass and its almost time fir the child of Remus and Tonks to come into the world. Unfortunately, Tonks' hormones were getting more and more out of control by the day, perhaps even by the second. Remus would not give in, he wasn't going to run, he had learned his lesson. Today though was especially though and Tonks' was out in order to calm down a few relatives of Ted and she would not be back for a week at the most. Andromeda says though that she will back as fast as she can if Tonks gives birth while she is gone.<p>

Today Tonks was laid on the couch. She says that practically everything of her body hurts. Remus kneels by her and does whatever it takes to lessen the pain and to get her whatever she wants. Tonks' appearance was changing rapidly it never stayed the same for more than five minutes at the most. She moans in pain as well now almost nothing could help quell the pain.

"Remus can you turn the light out?" Tonks asks.

"Sure hon," he replies as he turns out the light like he was told.

"Ugh. Thank you for being so kind to me during my horrid hormones and everything," she says a bit weakly.

"Don't worry. It was actually quite entertaining."

Tonks tries to hit his shoulder, but she's too weak to do so and just grazes him. Remus laughs at this and he's reminded of the first time he and Tonks had met and of their second meeting.

* * *

><p><em>"Right," Mad Eye says, "Remus, this is Nymphadora Tonks. Tonks, this is Remus Lupin."<em>

_Tonks' hairs goes from a purple color to a fiery orange color. Her head whips around facing Mad Eye, her eyes are angry, her eyebrows slanted down quickly._

_"I told you never call me Nymphadora!" Tonks exclaims angrily._

_Snape clears his throat and says, " Are we quite done with these childish outbursts and even sillier glances of affection?" Tonks shakes her hair changing it to its original purple. Both her and Lupin quickly look away from each other in embarrassment._

_As the two head out the dining room they see Tonks. Sirius smiles, taking the hint, and leaves to head up the stairs. The two of them lean against the wall and Tonks crosses her arms and smiles brightly at Remus._

_"I guess we got in a little trouble," Tonks smiles and chuckles lightly at him._

_"We shouldn't have done that Tonks," Lupin sternly says._

_"Alright, whatever you say Remus," Tonks says touching his arm as she says his name._

_Then as she does that he whispers, "Maybe we can meet up again before the next meeting. How about we meet on the steps when you arrive next time. Is that okay?"_

_"Sure," she says but soon after she says this Mad Eye comes up behind her and says its time for them to go._

_"Alright, bye Remus," she says as she waves goodbye._

* * *

><p>And the second time they met follows soon after.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Weeks pass before the next Order meeting is held. Nights continue to pass on by but finally the night come and Tonks leaves early for it. In half an hour she reaches Grimmauld Place. Waiting on the steps and staring into the distance is Lupin. He stares at her as she walks up to him. She walks up the steps and perches herself on the steps railing.<em>

_"Hello Remus," said Tonks._

_"Hello," he says, "I see you hair's pink now."_

_"Thank you for noticing."_

_"You're welcome," he says calmly. However that soon ends when he catches himself staring into Tonks' eyes which were now green._

_"So hypnotizing," he thinks, "If only—"_

_Then the front door opens(thanks to Sirius)which pushes Remus over towards Tonks. He trips on his feet and ends up falling into Tonks' arms._

_"Damn it Sirius," he mutters._

_Lupin then pushes himself up so he is standing on his own two feet. He feels like he's going back to normal and he feels okay he feels more than okay in fact. Tonks is smiling even more though._

_"Peculiar," he thinks, then he sees the reason why. He is still clutching, holding Tonks' hands. Now he feels some sort of pull. It was a magnetic magical pull towards Tonks. Lupin pulls on Tonks hands bringing him closer to him. Tonks stands up, she feels the pull as well. They take a few more steps towards each other. A wind—that seemed nonexistent not long ago—began to blow. Her hands slip out of his and she places them on his shoulders. The pull gets stronger and stronger and the get closer and closer._

_Beat, beat, beat._

_Beat, beat, beat._

_Stronger, stronger, stronger._

_Maybe it happened too fast or even perhaps too slow. Without a moment to think they kiss, their lips tightly pressed together. Lupin enjoys it and though out of character for him, he wraps his arms around Tonks. He just wants to hold on to her. Neither wants this to end and Tonks' pink hair blows in the wind._

_"Ah hmm!" Mad Eye clears his throat, "Tonks! Is this anyway for an Auror to act? Tonks!"_

_Finally the two stop kissing and they take an awkward side step away from each other. Looking at the two of them was Mad Eye, Molly and Arthur Weasley, Fred and George, Ron and Ginny, and of course Hermione. Trying to avoid the awkward silence they all go in Fred and George being the last._

_"Why George I think we have a new pair of lovebirds."_

_"Yeah George," he said ribbing his brother with his elbow, "Didn't think the old Lupin had it in him though."_

_The two twins laugh and head inside. Earlier the other Aurors said they couldn't come so it was just Lupin and Tonks outside._

_"We can't keep this a secret now," Tonks said with a clever smile._

_"We shouldn't have done that," Lupin said in a low voice._

_"Whatever you say Remus," she says as she leans in to kiss his cheek then she said, "Meet me at the foot of the staircase after the meeting."_

_When everyone clears out Lupin stays behind with Tonks. As Lupin stands up and walks towards Tonks on the other side of the table, she grabs hold of the plate, unfortunately, she ends up dropping it._

_Crash!_

_"Here. Let me fix it," he says as he points his wand toward the shattered plate, "Repairo."_

_"Thank you."_

_Remus then whispers to Tonks saying that they should've taken it slower._

_"I'm dangerous. I'm a werewolf," Remus cautiously warns._

_"And I don't care Remus," Tonks firmly states._

_Remus grabs her shoulders and tries to get her to see reason, she, however, sees something else in him. Tonks does something to surprise him, to stop him in mid sentence, to stop his normal, rational train of thought. She kisses him once more just like before the meeting. Only this time it wasn't the pull that brought them together, it was her own choice. Remus gives in and Tonks wraps her arms around his neck. Soon they end up in the corner of the dining room snogging away well into the night and early morning. It was then they stopped and Remus walked Tonks out. Tonks holds Remus' hand for a few minutes and then whispers something in his ear._

_"How about we have a real date? Let's say we meet at seven and at the Hog's Head or Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop this Saturday?"_

_"Let's make it Hog's Head," Lupin replied._

_"It's a date," Tonks returned with a smile._

* * *

><p>Remus starts to laugh at this as he strokes Tonks hand.<p>

"What's so funny?" Tonks asks.

"Nothing. Nothing. I was just thinking about my thoughts when I first met you, and our second meeting. Remember, the meeting when Fred and George started joking about us and probably when they started making bets."

Tonks begins to laugh as well but for a moment clutches her stomach in pain. Worried, Remus asks if she is okay.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. How about you just tell me about your thoughts when you met me. That will make me feel better. Maybe, it will make the pain go away for awhile."

"Haha," he laughs a little bit more before he goes into his thoughts from back then, "Well, when I first met you I felt something different, something I have never felt in so long. Back when I was in Hogwarts whenever I'd get the nerve to go up and talk to a girl it would never work out. When I met you though Tonks I felt that I could but then again I also felt that I would hurt you. Unintentionally but I couldn't bear that. Then when we met the second time, though I am sure Sirius planned that part, I could help but to kiss you."

Remus kisses her forehead, "Nymphadora, I love you." Before Tonks could say that she loved him too she doubles over in pain. Tonks begins to scream in pain and Remus tries to get a hold of Andromeda. He cannot get a hold of her though and Remus is forced to deal with this himself, even though he has never delivered or helped deliver an infant before.

Tonks screams and screams out her lungs.

"Calm down Nymphadora! Calm the hell down!"

"Do you Remus think you could calm down if you had to push a damn child out of your body! NO!" Tonks shouted at him, "Damn you to hell! You get the fun part by having sex with me! But noooo I have to go through this HELL!"

Tonks continues screaming and Remus tries to calm her down and deliver the baby as quick as it will come out. After hours and hours and hours the baby is finally delivered and they begin to gush over their baby. Remus washes the blood and fluids off the baby and rocks him a little.

"So what are we going to name him?" Remus whispers as he hands the infant back to her.

Tonks' hair is everywhere and completely covered in sweat. She begins to coo over their baby boy even more.

"How about Theodore. Teddy for short, after my father," she whispers back at the both of them, Teddy Tonks Lupin. Tonks as his middle name."

"It has a nice ring to it," Remus says as he kisses both his son and wife sweetly, "I am glad he has your abilities so far. At least being a metemagus. His hair is even changing colors. Your mum said you were the same way."

Remus sits on the sofa moving Tonks' legs on top of his lap. He gets a brilliant idea, at least he thinks it is a good one.

"Mum actually told you that," and as she says that her hair begins to turn to a light orange from it's bright bubblegum pink color.

"I have an idea Tonks. How about we give him another middle name."

"What?"

Teddy Tonks Nymphadora Lupin. What do you think?"

Tonks' hair turns into a serene sea green color and joyful tears come to her eyes and fall down her cheeks.

"That's the first time I've ever been proud, and actually liked, my first name. I think it's a great idea Remus."

"So its settled."

"And Remus I think Teddy will have your abilities too. I think Teddy will be incredibly bright and talented. And he even has your eye color, I think its his natural eye color."

"How can you know?"

"Mum and dad said that my eye color didn't start changing until I was about three or four years old."

Remus says he should try and get a hold of Andromeda again. Both of them tell the other that they love them and they wish the best for Teddy. Finally Remus gets a hold Andromeda and she says that will be back at home in a day at the most. Before they hang up Remus can hear hear brag to the other relatives that her daughter gave birth to her grandson and that he's named Teddy Tonks Nymphadora Lupin. Remus goes back to Tonks, she says that he's sleeping now and Remus takes him to their room and lies him down in the crib.

Within the next day Andromeda arrives at around seven in the morning. The first thing she did was embrace her daughter and son-in-law.

"So how is my grandson? Did you two take any pictures yet?" Andromeda asks excitedly, to the point she is practically jumping off the walls and ceiling.

"Yes mum but right now Teddy is sleeping. You can can see him but be quiet," Tonks says as she holds her mother still before muttering under her breath, "You are Bellatrix's sister after all."

Only Remus hears the last part and gives a light chuckle.

"Excuse me, what was that Remus?" Andromeda asks.

Remus comes up with a quick distraction and says, "Nothing. We just wanted to say that Teddy is like Nymphadora, he is a metemagus. His hair hasn't stayed one color since he was born yesterday."

Andromeda says she can't wait to see and quietly makes her way to the bedroom to see her grandson. Soon she comes back out and says she has to tell everyone she knows about him.

"You've really made me proud Nymphadora. You too Remus."

And so Andromeda is off leaving Remus and Tonks alone once more. They head into the kitchen and Tonks makes the two of them some coffee. She leans against the counter and Remus washes his hands for the uncountable time that day. As soon as the coffee is ready and Tonks fixes it exactly how she likes it she takes a few sips from it. Remus takes his black.

"Blech."

"Black coffee still isn't poison," Remus assures her.

"I have never had this much coffee in my life. I guess coffee is my new obsessive drink," Tonks laughs as does Remus.

"You'll get used to it. Obsessive coffee drinking is something that takes time to get used to."

The two of them sit down at the table.

"Are you hungry?" Remus asks.

"A little. Are you?"

"Yes."

"Accio waffles."

The leftover pancakes fly over to them.

"I almost forgot, you like your waffles warm," and Tonks warms them up in the toaster for thirty seconds.

"Yes."

When the toaster is done Remus takes his plate and flawlessly catches the waffles.

"Bravo," Tonks says as she gives him a soundless applause.

"Thank you," he says before realizing they forgot the maple syrup, "Accio syrup."

So they eat their breakfast and later magically do the dishes. They discuss when would be the right time to move out and into their own place. Both of them agree though to wait a few months before finding a place of their own. Especially a new place since their old flat was sold again. Soon though they get on the topic of choosing a godfather for their son. They both decide on Harry.

"Plus he was your student once. Harry is also determined and bright as well as brave," Tonks added.

"And Harry also helped convince me to come back to you," Remus added as well, " He'd also would most likely be a responsible godfather. So its settled, Harry's Teddy's godfather.

"Agreed."

Later they also take pictures of Andromeda with Tonks, Teddy smiling a big toothless grin, Tonks and Remus with him together and them both alone with Teddy. With each photo Teddy's hair does not stay the same. It changes from turquoise, red, orange, green, and every color imaginable.

About a week later it was time for Remus to visit Fleur and Bill at Shell cottage. Tonks tells Remus to tell them hello from her, he says he will and off he goes.

* * *

><p>"Who is it?" Bill called.<p>

"It is I, Remus John Lupin!" called a voice over the howling wind. Harry experienced a thrill of fear; what had happened? "I am a werewolf, married to Nymphadora Tonks, and you, the Secret-Keeper of Shell Cottage, told me the address and bade me come in an emergency!"

"Lupin," muttered Bill, and he ran to the door and wrenched it open.

Lupin fell over the threshold. He was white-faced, wrapped in a traveling cloak, his graying hair windswept. He straightened up, looked around the room, making sure of who was there, then cried aloud, "It's a boy! We've named him Ted, after Dora's father!"

Hermione shrieked.

"Wha—? Tonks—Tonks has had the baby?"

"Yes, yes, she's had the baby!" shouted Lupin. All around the table came cries of delight, sighs of relief: Hermione and Fleur both squealed, "Congratulations!" and Ron said, "Blimey, a baby!" as if he had never heard of such a thing before.

"Yes—yes—a boy," said Lupin again, who seemed dazed by his own happiness.

He strode around the table and hugged Harry; the scene in the basement of Grimmauld Place might never have happened.

"You'll be godfather?" he said as he released Harry. "M-me?" stammered Harry.

"You, yes, of course—Dora quite agrees, no one better—"

"I—yeah—blimey—"

Harry felt overwhelmed, astonished, delighted; now Bill was hurrying to fetch wine, and Fleur was persuading Lupin to join them for a drink.

"I can't stay long, I must get back," said Lupin, beaming around at them all: He looked years younger than Harry had ever seen him. "Thank you, thank you, Bill"

Bill had soon filled all of their goblets, they stood and raised them high in a toast.

"To Teddy Remus Lupin," said Lupin, "a great wizard in the making!"

"'Oo does 'e look like?" Fleur inquired.

"I think he looks like Dora, but she thinks he is like me. Not much hair. It looked black when he was born, but I swear it's turned ginger in the hour since.

Probably blond by the time I get back. Andromeda says Tonks's hair started changing color the day that she was born." He drained his goblet. "Oh, go on then, just one more," he added, beaming, as Bill made to fill it again.

"No. . . no. . . I really must get back," said Lupin at last, declining yet another goblet of wine. He got to his feet and pulled his traveling cloak back around himself.

"Good-bye, good-bye—I'll try and bring some pictures in a few day's time— they'll all be so glad to know that I've seen you—" He fastened his cloak and made his farewells, hugging the women and grasping hands with the men, then, still beaming, returned into the wild night.

* * *

><p>On the way back home Remus thought about everything.<p>

_"Yes. It was the right decision to make Harry the godfather. I am sure he will be an excellent one. Harry looked like better like he, as well as myself, has gotten over our last meeting. Perhaps he even heard what I said on the radio. I implied on it that I wasn't angry at him anymore and now he definitely knows it. Now Tonks is waiting at home."_

Remus reaches into his pockets to keep them warm when he comes across something buried in one of his pockets. He pulls it out, it is a cute photo of Teddy, his hair that turquoise color it was previously.

"Damn it! I could have shown it to them then!" He says with a realization that the photo was already in his pocket, "Oh well, I can't change it now."

So he puts it back in his pocket and continues on his way home back to Nymphadora and Teddy.

"I can only imagine how Teddy will turn out," he tells Tonks as she is holding Teddy and rocking him.

"Yeah, me too," Tonks agrees.

Little did they know how true their words were. If only it were possible to know all the specific details of Teddy Lupin's future. For now they just took comfort in the fact they had the present moment now.


	23. Chapter 23:Battle of Hogwarts

**Chapter 23: Battle of Hogwarts**

Angels deliver Fate to our doorstep - and anywhere else it is needed. ~Jessi Lane Adams

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><p>A days of pure happiness pass by, but it was also about to be filled with great unbelievable tragedy and loss. For now though the happy family of three were relaxing in the living room.<p>

Suddenly Neville appears in the small living room. He quickly runs over to Remus and Tonks and tells them what's going on. He speaks too fast and Remus puts both hands on Neville's shoulders to calm him down.

"Slow down Neville," Remus tells him, "Now tell us what is going on?"

Neville takes deep breaths and tries to carefully compose his words, unfortunately they come out frantic, scared, and willing.

"Harry, Ron, and Hermione have returned to Hogwarts. Voldemort is coming and the battle is about to start. We have to fight!"

Remus agrees.

"I'm going too," Tonks says.

"No!" Remus tells her.

"I'm going Remus."

"No. Someone needs to stay here with Teddy."

"Mum is here, Teddy will be fine."

Remus excuses themselves and head into the hallway. Both are determined to get their point across and won't break.

"I won't lose you Tonks," he said, "Please understand."

"I do understand Remus and I won't lose you either. I want to be with you. Even if the worst were to happen we would still be together. And either way Teddy will still have parents he can be proud of. He will also be protected because he will have my mum with him. She is a very gifted person."

"I'm sorry honey," Remus says as he kisses her forehead, "But I have to go."

Tonks looks on as she watches Remus Apperate away with Neville. She sinks to the floor glad that Teddy was asleep for now.

"He left to fight in the battle," she said to herself, "I know he's not leaving me for good like last time. Ugh. Here I am waiting for him like a helpless damsel in distress. Yes Teddy needs a parent but I also need to be with Remus."

Tonks bangs her head against the wall in frustration. Teddy cries at the sound and Tonks puts on a smile, stands up, and walks to her bedroom where Teddy is. She rocks him for awhile and lulls him back to sleep with a lullaby improvised at the top of her head. She sets him back in the crib and begins whispering to him.

"Teddy, you wouldn't mind if I went to be with dad? Would you? I love the both of you so much."

Tonks paces about the room for a few minutes before lying on the bed staring at the ceiling. Images of both Remus and Teddy overwhelm her mind, going in between who to be with at the moment.

_"Be with Remus,"_ the one side argued, _"You know you want to."_

_ "But Teddy needs you now,"_ the other side said,_ "You can't leave him."_

_"He needs a parent and that could be a grandparent. Go to Remus."_

_ "What if both you and Remus died? Who would look after Teddy? Think about that."_

_ "Yes, but this may be the last time to see Remus. You can't be separated from him Tonks. Not anymore. Plus its hell not knowing what is going on, whether he lives or dies."_

The opposing side couldn't compete with that and so the internal argument stops. Tonks hurries off the bed and rushes throughout the room getting ready. Finally she was ready now just to get her coat and tell Andromeda about this.

"Accio coat."

Tonks leans over the crib kisses her son and tells him goodbye and now she was off to tell her mum goodbye as well. She finds her in the opposite bedroom writing a letter.

"Mum. I'm leaving."

Andromeda turns to face her daughter with worried eyes.

"Are you sure Nymphadora? You don't have to."

"Yes I do mum. I need to go and be with―"

"―With Remus. I know."

"I'll be fine. I will be with him. Take care of Teddy."

Tonks says goodbye to Andromeda once more and Disapperates away to where the only passageway left to Hogwarts. She's immediately greeted by Aberforth who follows her through the painting as well.

* * *

><p>Earlier when Neville and Remus finally made their way to Aberforth's thoughts and images of Tonks and Teddy also ran through his mind. He wished it didn't have to be this way but Teddy and Tonks had to stay safe.<p>

As they climb onto the mantle place and climb into the passageway behind the painting of Ariana things feel as if time has gone backwards and lost its mind. Halfway to the ending of the tunnel Neville tries to make small talk with Remus.

"So how is married life and life with a son?" Neville asks.

"...Oh its fine. Life is good...Well not necessarily good because of what is going on in the world, but good," Remus answers.

"Good."

An awkward silence starts up and they just continue their way through the passage.

"Neville, I'm sorry, but are we there yet?"

"Yeah, just a few more steps. You'll be surprised at what you'll see though."

"That bad...chaotic?"

"Yeah."

When they arrive and Neville opens the door to the Room of Requirement, Remus' jaw looked like it could have dropped. At least it was a good thing he was good at keeping his composure. Now he just had to find Harry and his friends Ron and Hermione. It took a few minutes of shoving past the entire crowd but eventually he finds who he is looking for somewhere outside the room at the grand massive staircase.

"Harry, what's happening?" said Lupin, meeting him at the foot of the stairs.

"Voldemort's on his way, they're barricading the school—Snape's run for it—What are you doing here? How did you know?"

"So—'ow eez leetle Teddy?"

"I—oh yes—he's fine!" Lupin said loudly. "Yes, Tonks is with him—at her mother's—"

"Here, I've got a picture!" Lupin shouted, pulling a photograph from inside his jacket and showing it to Fleur and Harry, who saw a tiny baby with a tuft of bright turquoise hair, waving fat fists at the camera.

* * *

><p>Half an hour passes and Remus is on his way fighting Death Eaters in one of the hallways.<p>

"Hello Remus," said an ominous voice coming up behind him, "Turn around and face me you bloody coward!"

"Greyback."

"You don't know how long I wanted your blood. You're a traitor to your own kind."

"Is that right. Well I never chose this kind of life, you chose for me."

"And now I'll finish what I started," Greyback lets out a sadistic laugh, and stops encircling Remus like an obsessed hawk, "Oh, how I will love making your father scream from his grave, and you are about to join them."

"Maybe Greyback, but you're going with me."

Greyback tries the killing curse straightaway and Remus slides to the ground to avoid it. Remus fires a curse of his own knocking Greyback off his feet. He fires again and again, his final curse being the Cruiciatis Curse before running to fight off more enemies. What Remus didn't know was that Tonks was here at Hogwarts and was looking for him.

* * *

><p>Back at the Room of Requirement Harry was there again talking to Ginny, Neville's grandmother, and Tonks. Once Aberforth told Tonks that Remus was fight Dolohov she raced out the room to go and find him.<p>

"Tonks! Wait, I'm sure he's fine!"

Ginny's warning went on deaf ears and she ran faster than anyone could imagine possible. Tonks ran down the numerous halls that contained bad omens. The entire place looked like the famous Gothic architecture in all of England. She hadn't been this frightened and nervous since all those months ago when she found out that Remus had collapsed on the floor.

_"I won't be separated from Remus again! No way! Not even hell can separate us,"_ her thoughts scream.

Death Eaters and non eaters come after her occasionally but she fought them off with spell after spell, determination, and will. Tonks turns corners and corners throughout the maze like castle. Only two things kept her continue running: what Remus told her a few days ago when Teddy was born was one of them.

_"Well, when I first met you I felt something different, something I have never felt in so long. Back when I was in Hogwarts whenever I'd get the nerve to go up and talk to a girl it would never work out. When I met you though Tonks I felt that I could but then again I also felt that I would hurt you. Unintentionally but I couldn't bear that. Then when we met the second time, though I am sure Sirius planned that part, I could help but to kiss you." Remus kisses her forehead, "Nymphadora, I love you."_

The second thing was the memory of making the Unbreakable Vow months ago.

_"Will you, Remus Lupin, vow to never desert Nymphadora."_

_ "I will."_

_ "And, if Nymphadora is in any danger, will you Remus do whatever it takes to protect her?"_

_ "I will."_

_ "And if the unthinkable were to happen, will you Remus sacrifice everything for her?"_

_ "I will."_

Tonks had to keep running and even though the muscles in her legs began to hurt she would not stop, could not until she found her beloved Remus.

"Damn it. Who designed this school?" Tonks blurted aloud, "Where are you Remus?"

Turn after turn, spell after spell at her chasers. Time might as well have been murdered for all she knew but she still continued on and finally she reaches Remus who had just finished off Dolohov. Remus was standing in the middle of the room which now looked like a weird ancient ruin. Tonks ran over to him calling his name. He turns to face her, he almost looks angry.

"_NYMPHADORA_! What are you doing here? You're supposed to be at Andromeda's house?" Remus shouted as Tonks came running toward him.

"I love you, you werewolf! I am not going to leave you! I won't be separated from you again!"

"I love you too! That's why I want you safe!"

"Remember the Vow? Remember everything we've been through all these years? My place is with you! I am NOT leaving! And if you need more convincing," Tonks said as she blasted away a sneaky attacker, "What's my name? Say it!"

Remus takes shallow breaths and with a smile says:

"Nymphadora Tonks Lupin."

"Exactly. Now lets fight off these parasites. Together."

"Together."

So they held hands, backs against the other's back, and began fighting off attackers.

Death Eaters, creatures, and villains of all kind come up against the two of them. They were able to duel them all away though. Each opponent defeated brings on a new even more challenging one and soon an opponent becomes too much for Remus and Tonks to handle.

A giant's fist comes flying through the castle brick wall causing large debris to fly all around. Stones begin to fly at Remus and Tonks and just before the largest stone was about to smash her face in she shouted at it:

"Wingardiam Leviousa!"

She then let the stone fall several yards away from them and Remus pulled them into a fast run.

They run into the castle's corridors that weren't destroyed yet. Running when there was no threat behind them, hiding behind pillars when they sensed a presence following them. The stars predicted their outcome and it was not good. Its as if they could have fallen any moment and that a fallen angel could take them any moment.

"Remus," Tonks hurriedly whispers.

"What," he whispers back, "What's wrong?"

Tonks grabs his face and kisses him. Remus holds Tonks away at an arms distance and the stars were beginning to take its next victims.

"Is this really the time?"

"Last one. Just in case we don't make it."

They ran again looking out for pursuers as they did. Footsteps begin to follow them though and they sound more dangerous and determined than anything they've faced so far before. A cackle soon echoes through the corridor and an eerily familiar one too.

"I know that laugh," Tonks says as she grips harder to Remus' hand, "Its Bellatrix."

"Very clever mudblood. Now say goodbye to this life," Bellatrix cackled crazily with an equally mad smile.

Bellatrix points her wand at them. Tonks points her wand at the ground and screamed, "Bombarda!" and the ground began to break and chunks of stone fell hundreds of fee to the ground. This just makes Bellatrix even happier and she begins to mock them.

"Aww. Does the wittle witch with filthy bwood think she can beat me? And does the wolf beast think he can protect her?"

Bellatrix laughs again as Remus clenched his teeth like he was in his wolf form. He looked like he was about to growl, this time Tonks wasn't bothering to hold him back.

"Enough of this!" Bellatrix ordered, "Avada Kadava!"

Before the curse hit Tonks, Remus pushed her behind him and took the full brunt of the killing curse. Remus falls over like a rag doll, the life fled from his eyes, and Tonks quickly kneels over him and grabs his hand once more. Faster then a person can blink a green flash of light is reflected in Tonks' eyes and she falls down dead.

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you liked this chapter. The next one the last chapter of the story. Keep commenting.<strong>


	24. Chapter 24:Together Again

**Chapter 24: Together Again**

"Be silent in that solitude,  
>Which is not loneliness- for then<br>The spirits of the dead, who stood  
>In life before thee, are again<br>In death around thee, and their will  
>Shall overshadow thee; be still. "<p>

~Spirits of the Dead, Edgar Allan Poe

* * *

><p>People say that when a person dies their life flashes before their eyes. Others who have been through that experience say that those memories of their lives on earth were like a short movie just briefly showing all the scenes. Well that's what happened when Lupin and Tonks died, flashes of their lives were being replayed at the very moment of their death.<p>

For now they were separated but it wasn't permanent. They were just watching their lives being projected on some glowing, white, invisible surface. On one side of the surface is Tonks and leading her to take a closer look at her life was a weird spirit, angel type person. The person took her hand and turned to face her, it was now she got a better look at who was guiding her.

"Dad?"

"Hello Dora."

"Where are we?"

"Well, let's just say this is just a step to the other side," her father said with a loving smile as he gazes at the flashes of his daughter's life. Occasionally he'd laugh at moments in her childhood and teen years but soon it got to her death.

Tonks saw the repeat of her(and Remus')death. She noticed that the green flash really did reflect in her eyes. Then she saw Bellatrix gloat at her triumph over the death of her _pesky_ niece and the werewolf her niece married.

"You were so brave Dora."

"Thanks dad," Tonks said as she squeezed her father's hand tighter, "What's going to happen to mum? And Teddy?"

"I know it'll be a huge loss but I sure she'll manage, same with Teddy," Ted said slowly, "But I'm sure their pride in you, her favorite daughter"

"I'm her only daughter."

"You're still her's, and mine, favorite daughter. Anyway, Teddy will be proud as well for having two wonderful people for parents For a mother and father."

"Really dad? We abandoned him. If one of us stayed he would still have at least one parent."

Ted comforted Tonks with his warm hug that always made Tonks feel so much better as a child.

"You did what you had to do Dora. Be proud at what you and Remus did and accomplished," he says as he wipes the tears falling from Tonks' face, "Hey, no more tears. You'll be going to a happier place and from what I've been told Remus has just finished viewing his life."

Tonks manages a tearful smile and takes her father's hand again. Ted leads her pasty more of the great, white, canvas like space. It felt like no time at all when they stopped and saw a tall young looking man in all white. This was also the first time Tonks noticed that her father was also wearing all white and she herself was wearing an all white robe like dress. Then Tonks looks back at the man several yards from them with a feeling of familiarity and strangeness bubbling up inside her.

"Dad? Who is that?"

Ted leans in and whispers in his daughter's ear, "You don't recognize your husband Dora?"

"Remus?"

Her father just nods as he lets his hand slip from Tonks' hand. He watches her slowly walk over to Remus. Tonks calls out his name and Remus turns around. He looks significantly younger, no gray in his hair, noting that made him looked aged, but the part that made him familiar was the scars still on his face.

Tonks felt like a teenager again and just hugged Remus for the longest time. Remus even twirled her around in an incredibly cute moment and even he was surprised he had that kind of strength left in him. Tonks turns around to see her father again but within that moment of happiness he disappeared in an evaporating effect still smiling at his lovely headstrong daughter.

"Dad? Where's dad?" Tonks wondered.

"I think he's waiting Tonks," Remus said, "I don't know for sure but I think he's just waiting."

"So this isn't the other side?"

"I don't think so. I think its just more like the waiting area before moving on."

Tonks asks Remus if he saw his life too, if he saw his life projected frame by frame.

"Yes."

"What did you see?"

"Everything. My childhood, all the memories of me and the rest of the Marauders, everything. Even my death."

Tonks takes his hand and asks if he as an answer whey neither of them have _moved on_ yet. Remus says to her that he doesn't know but that it must be for a good reason for holding the two of them up in this waiting area. Not five minutes later another strange spirit angel walks majestically up to them. Its a woman unknown to both Remus and Tonks however Remus feels a weird connection to her like the woman is someone from is long repressed memories. Tonks clings closer to Remus almost possessively when the woman is only a few feet from them.

"Hello," the woman pleasantly says, "I've been waiting so long for you Remus, and you too Nymphadora."

"Do you know this woman Remus?" Tonks asks him.

"I think so," he says hesitantly, "I think its...its my..."

"That's right dear. Me and your father are waiting for you."

"You were waiting for him to die and come join you," Tonks defensively says.

"We wanted him with us yes. But we are so happy that Remus found someone to make him happy. We're so glad he found you."

Tonks blushes and Remus asks what is going on.

"I've been sent here to show you two your relationship from the time it started to know. If you turn around you'll see it being projected."

The scenes played like someone flipping through a book rather quickly and the first scene was the one of the first time they met.

**...**

Remus takes the empty seat and sets his briefcase down right beside him at his feet. At his right is Tonks who he accidentally bumps into with his elbow.

"Excuse me," he apologizes.

"Its alright," she says back.

The two lock eyes at each other. Remus says after a moment that they haven't been introduced yet. Mad Eye sees this though, and so do a couple of people, and clears his throat.

"Right," Mad Eye says, "Remus, this is Nymphadora Tonks. Tonks, this is Remus Lupin."

Tonks' hairs goes from a purple color to a fiery orange color. Her head whips around facing Mad Eye, her eyes are angry, her eyebrows slanted down quickly.

"I told you never call me Nymphadora!" Tonks exclaims angrily.

"I guess we got in a little trouble," Tonks smiles and chuckles lightly at him.

"We shouldn't have done that Tonks," Lupin sternly says.

"Alright, whatever you say Remus," Tonks says touching his arm as she says his name.

Then as she does that he whispers, "Maybe we can meet up again before the next meeting. How about we meet on the steps when you arrive next time. Is that okay?"

"Sure."

**…**

Weeks pass before the next Order meeting is held. Nights continue to pass on by but finally the night come and Tonks leaves early for it. In half an hour she reaches Grimmauld Place. Waiting on the steps and staring into the distance is Lupin. He stares at her as she walks up to him. She walks up the steps and perches herself on the steps railing.

"Hello Remus," said Tonks.

"Hello," he says, "I see you hair's pink now."

"Thank you for noticing."

"You're welcome," he says calmly. However that soon ends when he catches himself staring into Tonks' eyes which were now green.

"_So hypnotizing," _he thinks, _"If only—"_

Then the front door opens(thanks to Sirius)which pushes Remus over towards Tonks. He trips on his feet and ends up falling into Tonks' arms.

"Damn it Sirius," he mutters.

Lupin then pushes himself up so he is standing on his own two feet. He feels like he's going back to normal and he feels okay he feels more than okay in fact. Tonks is smiling even more though.

"Peculiar," he thinks, then he sees the reason why. He is still clutching, holding Tonks' hands. Now he feels some sort of pull. It was a magnetic magical pull towards Tonks. Lupin pulls on Tonks hands bringing him closer to him. Tonks stands up, she feels the pull as well. They take a few more steps towards each other. A wind—that seemed nonexistent not long ago—began to blow. Her hands slip out of his and she places them on his shoulders. The pull gets stronger and stronger and the get closer and closer.

Beat, beat, beat.

Beat, beat, beat.

Stronger, stronger, stronger.

Maybe it happened too fast or even perhaps too slow. Without a moment to think they kiss, their lips tightly pressed together. Lupin enjoys it and though out of character for him, he wraps his arms around Tonks. He just wants to hold on to her.

**...**

Each scene went through quickly but to Remus and Tonks it felt like hours and hours. Before long the scene was when the Weasley twins were taking bets on what would happen and in the end Remus kissed Tonks in the heat of the moment. Scenes still passed, Remus' depression, words they've said to each other they did not mean. Soon it got to the part after they came back to headquarters from rescuing the kids shortly after it changed to the aftermath of that. The first time they slept together.

**…**

_"Did yesterday, did last night really happen?" _she wonders in her head, _"... Just...so... amazing...but did it happen?"_

Tonks looks around her surroundings.

_"...The Leaky Cauldron..."_

She looks to both sides of her. To her left nothing special, just a bed table. To her right was something mush more interesting.

_"Remus."_

So Tonks decides to just go with it. She leans even closer to Remus. His bare arm is already around her. Tonks just puts her lips to his neck.

"Remus," she whispers.

Then she moves up and kisses his ear.

"Remus, wake up," she says in a sing-song voice that time.

Slowly he wakes. The same thoughts that went through Tonks' head earlier go through his. Remus looks around as well and believes it when he sees Tonks beside him. An hour and a half later though everything soon fell into place for them. Every memory from the past twenty-four hours were soon cleared up. They end up making out again only today it didn't do as far as it did the night before. Now Remus is distracted by something else and Tonks picks up on it. Minutes pass before either one feels comfortable enough to speak.

"I can imagine what Sirius would say if he found out,"Remus chuckled, "He, along with Molly, had been pushing..."

Tonks laughs along with him.

"Yeah, everyone waiting for it to happen," Tonks chuckles again,"Like those Fred and George with their damn bets."

**...**

The next scenes were those when when Remus did the most idiotic thing and say he didn't love her. During that part some of his guilt couldn't help but come back. Tonks just embraces him tighter and his mother whispers something to them.

"Remus has always been like that. If it wasn't for that Greyback then maybe Remus would have been more confident. Oh well, there's a pretty good likelihood that Greyback won't make it into an eternal happiness."

Remus looks slightly embarrassed at what his mother had just said. Tonks just smiles and squeezes his arm.

"I love your mum Remus."

His mother smiles and says that she loves the both of them as well. The scene finally switches to the last part of Remus' and Tonks' second date with each other and viewing his mother couldn't help but gush over it.

**...**

In the present they begin to pull apart. Remus stands up and holds out his hand again for Tonks. She gladly accepts it and then they Disapperate and are now in front of Tonks' house.

"Are you sure you want to end the date Remus," Tonks asks.

"No," he replies,"But I have a question of my own for you if that's alright."

"Go ahead," Tonks smiled.

_"What will Remus' question be?"_

"Nymphadora Tonks," Am I good enough for you?"

Tonks can't help but smile and shake her head, in awe and almost disbelief. For a moment Remus thought her response would be bad until she said:

"I can't believe it's taken you this long to see this Remus," Tonks tells him, "Yes Remus Lupin, you are good enough for me. Am I for you?"

"You've always been good enough."

The two of them then hug and kiss. Remus then walks Tonks over to the door. Unfortunately Tonks ends up tripping on the pathway to the front door. As she fell flat on her face Remus immediately rushes over to her and gently helps her up.

"Are you okay? Or was that on purpose?" Remus asks.

"Can't it be both?" Tonks replies.

Remus chuckles and Tonks had to join in and Tonks' hair almost immediately turns into its usual bright bubblegum pink color. The two of them hold hands and as Remus is about to turn away to leave he sees a shooting star.

"Did you see the star too?"

"Yes," he tells her, "What did you wished for?"

Tonks walks up to him and gives him another sparkling smile.

"Let's just say the same thing you wished for," Tonks says almost seductively and then kisses his cheek, "Goodnight Remus."

Then she she goes back to the doorstep and opens the door letting the light out. Before she goes inside though she turns to him one last time for the night and gives him her signature wink. Tonks goes inside and Remus happily walks away.

**…**

"You know Nymphadora, Remus has never felt good enough for anyone. No girl he fancied as a boy or even for any of his friends. That's why I am glad he has found you. You Nymphadora have made him feel good and I happily welcome you into this family."

"I love your mum even more," Tonks faces Remus' mother, "Thank you...umm...Mrs. Lupin."

Now the scene shifts to the two weeks before they were married.

**…**

Tap, tap, tap. Tap, tap, tapping on the door repeatedly.

"Yes," she says from inside.

"Do you love me?"

_Click!_

The door is unlocked and Tonks sticks her head out. Drops of water drip from her hair and onto the hardwood hallway floor. Tonks gets that classic expression on her face and holds the door open so she can see Remus' face.

"What?" Tonks says.

"Do you love me?" Remus asks again.

"Come in," she says in a frustrated tone as she pulls Remus in and locks the door behind them, "What is this about Remus? Getting cold feet? Are those thoughts of inadequacy taking over again?"

"I don't want to take anything from you," he says.

Tonks walks around and stands behind Remus and he feels the soft warm towel wrapped around Tonks brush his arm. She makes him face the medium-sized mirror. As all the tales go mirrors never lie. Even if they are not enchanted in any way, mirrors never lie, they always show the truth. She places her fingers on his shoulders and gets a firm grip on them.

"What do you see Remus? Tell me," Tonks orders him.

Remus looks into the mirror. The slightly blurry from the steam from the shower but he can still discern the both of them in it. He knows what he thinks, what he sees, and knows as fact.

"I see myself with the most beautiful person I know and love."

"What do you see of yourself?"

"I see a selfish man letting you make too many sacrifices for for someone who doesn't deserve them."

Tonks walks back in front of him and looks him in the eye. Her dripping hair turns a sunset sort of color. A yellow, orange, pink, blue sort of color; the water dripping down makes it look like its melting.

"That's where you're wrong. I see a kind, intelligent, brave man in that mirror," she points to the mirror as she says this, "Who is also good enough and who I am deeply, truly in love with."

"I love you too."

Tonks takes his hands and slowly places them on her waist. She wraps her arms around his neck and whispers, "Prove it," in his ear. And to prove it he kisses her and end their night better than it began.

**...**

The scene goes to their small, hushed up wedding and quickly to their adventures when they were transporting Harry to the Weasleys. The image focused mainly on Remus versus Pettigrew and Tonks versus Bellatrix and focused even more when Tonks told Remus she was pregnant. Soon it gets to the part where Remus leaves Tonks in his fit of anger.

"I didn't condone that," Remus' mother said, "I understand your thoughts but there were better ways to deal with the situation. At least my favorite part is coming up soon. Your chance to redeem yourself."

Tonks laughs at this and at Remus' slightly pained and flushed expression.

"Its only because we love you love," Tonks tells him.

**…**

Tonks tells Remus to come in and offers him something to drink. He declines it saying he needed to get what he wanted to say off his chest. She tells him to sit down and then mutters a sarcastic remark.

"I know there's no way you could forgive me and no matter what I say would be no excuse for being a complete good for nothing―"

"―Ass," Tonks finishes.

"Exactly. But please, please let me have this chance."

Remus moves over to the sofa where Tonks is sitting, she pushes him away. Remus just kneels in front of her and tries to take her hand. Tonks makes a comment on how this wasn't going to work and that he'd have to really prove he was sincere.

"And I'm willing to do anything to prove that. I'll do anything for you."

Remus kisses her hand, goes up her arm, and gently kisses her lips. Tonks pushes him away again. She moves over to the opposite side of the sofa.

"You can't win me over that easily. Who do you think I wanted with me when I found out dad died? Who do you think I wanted when I was forced to go on maternity leave? You Remus! But you weren't there. Like you ever gave a damn," ranted Tonks.

"And that was my mistake. Please, I love you. The time I spent just running I tried not to think of you, tried to convince myself that I was doing the right thing but I couldn't keep at it, couldn't stop the thoughts from flooding my mind. It took Harry's angry speech towards me and a dream I had, to realize it. To realize I need you and never want to be without you. Please Nymphadora. Please I'm begging you. I'm on my knees. Please."

"I've heard that before. How many times Remus have you _begged_ for my forgiveness?"

Remus continues to beg and beg and Tonks just looks away from his pleading dog-like eyes. He slowly stands up and turns away.

"I can see I can't convince you tonight," he says as he heads towards the door, "But I won't give up. I will promise you that."

Tonks barely listens to his words and can barely register them when she leans over in unbearable pain in her abdomen. Remus gets a worried, scared look in his eyes as he sees Tonks doubled over in pain clutching her stomach in her hands. He rushes back over to her and takes her and lifts her in his arms. All he says as he takes her to her room is, "Are you okay? Are you going to be okay?" All Tonks can do is moan in pain as she's being carried to her room. Even when they get inside and Remus lays her on her bed all she can do is barely turn to face away from him so she just stares into his eyes and he stares into her's.

In half and hour the pain passes. Before Remus leaves and is sure Tonks is fast asleep he kisses her forehead.

"Goodnight Nymphadora. I'll always love you. I won't leave you and I mean it this time," he whispers and then tiptoes out of her bedroom.

**…**

"Remus, you'll do anything for my daughter? You'll do anything to show that you really are sincere?" Andromeda slowly and decisively states.

"Anything. You have my word," Remus swears.

"Will you be willing to make the Unbreakable Vow?"

"Yes," he says determinedly, bravely, and solemnly.

"Then I will get my daughter. She's probably already awake and staring at the ceiling."

And so Andromeda goes to her daughter's bedroom and wakes her up. She brings the sleepy Tonks into the kitchen and has her face Remus.

"What is this about?" Tonks asks.

"I know Remus is sincere Nymphadora. He has agreed to the Unbreakable Vow. Now, join arms," Andromeda states dramatically.

So Remus and Tonks do as their told because a.) Not daring to defy Andromeda. She was of course Bellatrix Lestrange's sister and at this moment she looked exactly like Bellatrix. And b.) Remus meant what he said, he would do anything for Tonks and would go to any length to prove his sincerity.

Andromeda touches her wand to their joined arms and begins the to say her terms of the Vow.

"Will you, Remus Lupin, vow to never desert Nymphadora," Andromeda gives her daughter a small embrace as she says this. Tonks stares deeply and emotionlessly into Remus' eyes as the vow is going on.

"I will," Remus states very solemnly.

"And, if Nymphadora is in any danger, will you Remus do whatever it takes to protect her?"

"I will."

"And if the unthinkable were to happen, will you Remus sacrifice everything for her?"

"I will," this time Remus says this more solemn and dramatically than before.

**...**

Finally the images get to some of the last scenes of their lives and Remus' mother coos over her grandson being born.

**…**

"So what are we going to name him?" Remus whispers as he hands the infant back to her.

Tonks' hair is everywhere and completely covered in sweat. She begins to coo over their baby boy even more.

"How about Theodore. Teddy for short, after my father," she whispers back at the both of them, Teddy Tonks Lupin. Tonks as his middle name."

"It has a nice ring to it," Remus says as he kisses both his son and wife sweetly, "I am glad he has your abilities so far. At least being a metemagus. His hair is even changing colors. Your mum said you were the same way."

Remus sits on the sofa moving Tonks' legs on top of his lap. He gets a brilliant idea, at least he thinks it is a good one.

"Mum actually told you that," and as she says that her hair begins to turn to a light orange from it's bright bubblegum pink color.

"I have an idea Tonks. How about we give him another middle name."

"What?"

Teddy Tonks Nymphadora Lupin. What do you think?"

Tonks' hair turns into a serene sea green color and joyful tears come to her eyes and fall down her cheeks.

"That's the first time I've ever been proud, and actually liked, my first name. I think it's a great idea Remus."

"So its settled."

**...**

Tonks told Remus that she's really going to miss Teddy and being there with him as he grows up. Remus agrees and his mother agrees that they made a good choice making the legendary Harry Potter Teddy's godfather.

"Yes, I think so too," Remus says.

His mother says its time to view the last scene Tonks gets a few tears in her eyes.

"I guess we have to watch our deaths again," she sighs.

"Yes," Remus says.

**...**

"_NYMPHADORA_! What are you doing here? You're supposed to be at Andromeda's house?" Remus shouted as Tonks came running toward him.

"I love you, you werewolf! I am not going to leave you! I won't be separated from you again!"

"I love you too! That's why I want you safe!"

"Remember the Vow? Remember everything we've been through all these years? My place is with you! I am NOT leaving! And if you need more convincing," Tonks said as she blasted away a sneaky attacker, "What's my name? Say it!"

Remus takes shallow breaths and with a smile says:

"Nymphadora Tonks Lupin."

"Exactly. Now lets fight off these parasites. Together."

"Together."

So they held hands, backs against the other's back, and began fighting off attackers.

Death Eaters, creatures, and villains of all kind come up against the two of them. They were able to duel them all away though. Each opponent defeated brings on a new even more challenging one and soon an opponent becomes too much for Remus and Tonks to handle.

A giant's fist comes flying through the castle brick wall causing large debris to fly all around. Stones begin to fly at Remus and Tonks and just before the largest stone was about to smash her face in she shouted at it:

"Wingardiam Leviousa!"

She then let the stone fall several yards away from them and Remus pulled them into a fast run.

They run into the castle's corridors that weren't destroyed yet. Running when there was no threat behind them, hiding behind pillars when they sensed a presence following them. The stars predicted their outcome and it was not good. Its as if they could have fallen any moment and that a fallen angel could take them any moment.

"Remus," Tonks hurriedly whispers.

"What," he whispers back, "What's wrong?"

Tonks grabs his face and kisses him. Remus holds Tonks away at an arms distance and the stars were beginning to take its next victims.

"Is this really the time?"

"Last one. Just in case we don't make it."

**...**

Finally Remus and Tonks watched their deaths and Bellatrix gloating over them.

Remus' mother said that there would be a fitting ending to the mad infamous Bellatrix Lestrange.

"What?" Tonks asks.

"You'll see," was all his mother said.

"Where are you going?" Remus asks as the scenes disappear and his mother starts to disappear.

"You'll see Remus dear. I can say that you'll be needed one last time," she says to her son. She turns to Tonks, "Nymphadora, you can either wait here for him to come back or come with me to the other side and wait there."

"So we get to go to, where ever is beyond this place?"

"Yes. I pretty sure you merit eternal happiness."

Tonks has already made her decision and tells Remus' mother that she wait for Remus here and they'll join her later. His mother gives an approving nod to her son and daughter-in-law and evaporates away like Ted did earlier ago.

Remus and Tonks walk around a little without talking.

"I think my mum means Harry, and I think I won't be the only one there. There's a good chance, James, Sirius, and Lily will be there as well."

"Then go Remus. I'll be here waiting," Tonks tells him, "Go."

"I love you."

"I know. I love you too."

They have one last kiss and Remus leaves to do the last thing he will ever have to do on earth.

When he comes back though it doesn't feel like he has been gone that long though. Tonks lets him know that and she embraces him again.

"So," she says to him, "Are you ready to find out what happens next?"

"Always. Forever."

And so Remus and Tonks walk off into the distance and go into a new adventure and happiness better than the one before it, and the one before that, and the one before that.

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>


End file.
